I want to share some information, and I also need to complain some.
I've been asking to get my tubes tied since I was fourteen. My last gyno knew I was ftm, and she acted like the request was some kind of ploy to trick her into doing more. I found a better doctor by asking around and making phone calls, making it very clear that I needed someone who will still treat me once I have facial hair and a guy's name.
My new doctor is cool, but she balked when I stupidly mentioned that I wish I could have more kids. I do. That doesn't mean I would ever do it. I went back to her and kind of ranted, told her what deep poverty I've been in for years and years, told her how seriously mentally ill my only child is, told her how I've never had any help, etc. Reminded her that people in my position really shouldn't be breeding, and that I can't take chances. I'm still focusing on learning to walk properly again after my last two surgeries. And also goddamnit boys don't give birth. Seriously.
So she finally agreed, and I had clamps put on my fallopian tubes Thursday. It being such a common procedure, I didn't question it when I was told that it was no big deal, a few hours in the hospital and then right back to normal life.
But holy hell it HURT. Still hurts. It was laparoscopic, and she used clips. One incision in my bellybutton, and one about a half inch long at the top of my pubic hair line. Probably the safest, most efficient, and least scarring way it could've been done, and nothing went wrong, but "no big deal" is not an honest way to characterize it. My belly is swollen and has hard parts, and I can't lift or carry much. It hurts to change positions, laugh, raise my voice, wear pants, eat much, or be hugged. I feel drained, and the anesthesia fog feels like it's just now really wearing off.
Probably none of this is relevant to guys who don't sleep with men. If I felt that I had a good path and timeline, I would've skipped this step, as T would've kept me from getting pregnant just fine. Sterilization is the only surgery I could get right away, though, and the fact that I'm not capable of incubating babies really helps me feel more like a man.
I haven't seen any other transmen's perspectives on this. The ciswomen I've known who had this procedure have much nastier scars than I do, and they all had family support, and they didn't have gender identity issues. Body parts are all I had in common with them. So there's my perspective. For me, tubal ligation was painful, easy to get with insurance, and ultimately beneficial to my sex life and self esteem.
