Quote from: Happy Girl! on October 21, 2011, 04:09:42 PM
Well what a difference a day makes! I am feel somewhat embarrassed by some of my thoughts above. Today I am dressed no differently than on any other day, except I am supposed to be a man now. I realised last night that I have no idea of what a man is supposed to do, think or be exactly.
Osho wrote that the closer to God you come the more happiness and rightness you feel. In contrast the further away from God you are the more dark your moods and the harder and rockier your life becomes.
I love living the way I do being totally open with my mother and sister and they are completely accepting of me and my lifestyle. Ok you maybe thinking so what is the problem? Why did you write those things you did above? The trouble is that I cannot live the way I do at home outside. I have to put on an act and I am afraid that I cannot act for 11 hours a day, my nerves simply won't stand it.
I hope you realize that your gender problems aren't going away. You are a girl, and no amount of forcing yourself to pretend otherwise may change that fact. Maybe you really can't relate to the women featured in the self-help book. Hell, maybe you can't relate to any other woman on the planet. None of that would prevent you from being a woman. Identity is something that comes from inside, not from outside.
If you can't stand acting, then stop acting. Be yourself. That's all you really can be. Screw what everyone else thinks. Would you rather just be yourself, or would you rather keep pretending to be a man and deluding yourself into thinking that this will ever work?
QuoteI am sorry if any of my comments above offended anyone.
I'm sure we've all been delusional at times. It's easy to fool oneself into believing an easy fantasy, rather than facing the hard truth. Nobody wants to face the hard truth. It seems much easier to cling to the fantasy.
