Why do some MTF's act like gay men?

[JenJen2011]

I mean, let's put it this way.  What if I were to start a thread this way: "Why does X group behave like stereotypical Hispanic people?"

Just because a stereotype exists doesn't mean that one should continue to use it.

I'm using it, not because it's a stereotype but because I've seen it with my own eyes. When I use to consider myself a gay male, I had two gay friends who were VERY promiscuous. Going into glory holes just to suck some stranger off. And the ts I'm referring to acts the same way, probably even worse. Women don't typically act this way. So, how does she expect to be viewed as one?

[Amaranth]

Women don't typically act this way.

It really depends on where you're from and what connections you have.  lol

[Mahsa Tezani]

I'm using it, not because it's a stereotype but because I've seen it with my own eyes. When I use to consider myself a gay male, I had two gay friends who were VERY promiscuous. Going into glory holes just to suck some stranger off. And the ts I'm referring to acts the same way, probably even worse. Women don't typically act this way. So, how does she expect to be viewed as one?

As a former gay man, that stereotype is completely true. I had to get tested every few months to make sure i wasn't +.

Gay men are extremely promiscuous. They have "dating" websites dedicated to screwing and noshing. My ex boyfriend was screwing me, my ex, and our hag.

Jenjen...I agree 100%

[JenJen2011]

As a former gay man, that stereotype is completely true. I had to get tested every few months to make sure i wasn't +.

Gay men are extremely promiscuous. They have "dating" websites dedicated to screwing and noshing. My ex boyfriend was screwing me, my ex, and our hag.

Jenjen...I agree 100%

Right! Wonderdyke doesn't get it because she wasn't a former gay man.

[wheat thins are delicious]

As a former gay man, that stereotype is completely true. I had to get tested every few months to make sure i wasn't +.

Gay men are extremely promiscuous. They have "dating" websites dedicated to screwing and noshing. My ex boyfriend was screwing me, my ex, and our hag.

Anecdotal experience =/= fact or even the experience of everyone.

Straight people have sites just like that.

[Mahsa Tezani]

Right! Wonderdyke doesn't get it because she wasn't a former gay man.

Well I was gay since 18, but I was old enough to go to bars when I turned 21. Bars are all about hooking up. Gay men are incredibly promiscious...It's no wonder a lot of transgirls who go from gay man to straight girl want stable relationships. I love gay culture and am still part of it passively(I didn't make a 180 turnaround)... But glad I don't have to be in a relationship with a man who is screwing 10 other men besides me.

In the gay world, there are many good men... Do you know where they are?

I don't think a lot of transgirls understand gay culture, since many of them have never lived it. Hell, one of my gay guy friends is transitioning and was still acting queeny and embodying many of the gay stereotypes last time I saw her.

[JenJen2011]

Well I was gay since 18, but I was old enough to go to bars when I turned 21. Bars are all about hooking up. Gay men are incredibly promiscious...It's no wonder a lot of transgirls who go from gay man to straight girl want stable relationships. I love gay culture and am still part of it(I didn't make a 180 turnaround)... But glad I don't have to be in a relationship with a man who is screwing 10 other men besides me.

Right. Adam4Adam is a prime example.

In the gay world, there are many good men... Do you know where they are?

I don't but I'm sure they're somewhere over the rainbow.

[Mahsa Tezani]

Anecdotal experience =/= fact or even the experience of everyone.

Straight people have sites just like that.

You know what? How about instead of saying. "well not everyone is like this" we hear the OP out? I am so sick of arguing with people about if stereotypes are legit. They are stereotypes for a reason. People are so quick to argue instead of listening. Jenjen wouldn't write this stuff if there wasn't some basis in reality for her statements. Stop trying to have the whole "well not everyone is like that" attitude and her hear out.

Regardless of the TS status, someone does retain their former self even if its an illusion. Many TS women do act like cisgay men, I know I did the first year of my transition.

Therefore, Jenjen is completely right.

[JenJen2011]

one of my gay guy friends is transitioning and was still acting queeny and embodying many of the gay stereotypes last time I saw her.

Yup. Sounds familiar.

[Mahsa Tezani]

Right. Adam4Adam is a prime example.

People gave me guff on this board for pranking that site. As much as I miss Dustin, I can't help but think I was another hole for him to penetrate on the physical level of our relationship. He even said, "I might have to pretend you're a man" no surprises there, he loved men who resembled young dykes. He loved my old boy photos and wanted that guy in the photo to top him. But since that horse had won the race, he went for me in my current form. He also loved pussy and breasts...Like most horny gay men. LMAO.

After all, he was getting boned by 4 other men. My ex b/f frequents bathhouses, another one of my friends admits to being a "bottom slut".
As for monogamous gay men. I knew a few... Enough to count on one hand.

[cynthialee]

Haveing been a 'bi male'  I have seen very much the stereotypes seem to be the rule rather than the exception.

[Mahsa Tezani]

Haveing been a 'bi male'  I have seen very much the stereotypes seem to be the rule rather than the exception.

I have a preference for "bi" men. I think they can appreciate the beauty aesthetics of a transgirls much more than "straight arrows". But a lot of them seem to be closet cases who are "softening the blow" when they come out of the closet.

My ideal man is a gay acting bi cisman thats monogamous...come to think of it, I want an open minded straight guy. The former sounds like a mythological creature.

[wheat thins are delicious]

You know what? How about instead of saying. "well not everyone is like this" we hear the OP out? I am so sick of arguing with people about if stereotypes are legit. They are stereotypes for a reason. People are so quick to argue instead of listening. Jenjen wouldn't write this stuff if there wasn't some basis in reality for her statements. Stop trying to have the whole "well not everyone is like that" attitude and her hear out.

Nope.  It's people who want to shy away from the "well everyone is not like that" attitude and say "well everyone who has this particular background is going to act like that" who perpetuate stereotypes and hurt everyone in the long run.

[Mahsa Tezani]

Nope.  It's people who want to shy away from the "well everyone is not like that" attitude and say "well everyone who has this particular background is going to act like that" who perpetuate stereotypes and hurt everyone in the long run.

You know what... Read Randy Shilts "And the band played on" or Larry Kramer's "->-bleeped-<-gots"... Those people lived in that culture.

Do you live in gay man culture? Nope.

Gay stereotypes are totally true. I used to live in the Castro. I was a stereotypical gay. I know what I am talking about.

Cis gay men culture is incredibly hyper masculine, promiscious, etc... Those men want straight men to go "Roman". Yes, there are many gay men who aren't the stereotype...But they aren't on A4A, Afterelton, or in the Castro.

Now enough arguements about the actual stereotype and how about you support Jenjen's arguement with a real rebuttal.

[cynthialee]

The straight open minded man exists...but he married my sister in law.

[Rebekah with a K-A-H]

Right! Wonderdyke doesn't get it because she wasn't a former gay man.

I used to identify as a gay male, but thanks for making an assumption about me.

Anecdotal experience =/= fact or even the experience of everyone.

Straight people have sites just like that.

This, this, and this a thousand times over.  Your experiences identifying as a gay male do not constitute every gay male's experience ever.  That's reductionist and insulting.

You know what... Read Randy Shilts "And the band played on" or Larry Kramer's "->-bleeped-<-gots"... Those people lived in that culture.

Do you live in gay man culture? Nope.

Gay stereotypes are totally true. I used to live in the Castro. I was a stereotypical gay. I know what I am talking about.

Cis gay men culture is incredibly hyper masculine, promiscious, etc... Those men want straight men to go "Roman". Yes, there are many gay men who aren't the stereotype...But they aren't on A4A, Afterelton, or in the Castro.

Now enough arguements about the actual stereotype and how about you support Jenjen's arguement with a real rebuttal.

You know a lot of gay males that fit the stereotype?  Great.  I know many gay males, and not a single one that fits that mold.  Does that prove either of our points?  Nope.

The point is, there's no such thing as an "archetypal gay male", or, for that matter, an "archetypal woman" or "archetypal transsexual woman".  Just because society genders and orients behavior as either belonging to men or women, straight people or gay people, cis people or trans people doesn't mean that these behaviors are gendered or oriented.

You know what? How about instead of saying. "well not everyone is like this" we hear the OP out? I am so sick of arguing with people about if stereotypes are legit. They are stereotypes for a reason. People are so quick to argue instead of listening. Jenjen wouldn't write this stuff if there wasn't some basis in reality for her statements. Stop trying to have the whole "well not everyone is like that" attitude and her hear out.

Regardless of the TS status, someone does retain their former self even if its an illusion. Many TS women do act like cisgay men, I know I did the first year of my transition.

Therefore, Jenjen is completely right.

Just because Jen makes a valid point (that certain transsexual women that she knows act like certain gay men that she knows, something that I am not debating) doesn't mean that I think she's framing it in anything approximating a respectful manner (for either the trans women or the gay men).  I'm contesting her use of "gay men" as a stereotype for promiscuity, and taking issue with the fact that she presents it in a manner that demonizes a female acting as a forward or dominant potential sexual partner (which borders dangerously close to slut-shaming).

[Mahsa Tezani]

I used to identify as a gay male, but thanks for making an assumption about me.

This, this, and this a thousand times over.  Your experiences identifying as a gay male do not constitute every gay male's experience ever.  That's reductionist and insulting.

You know a lot of gay males that fit the stereotype?  Great.  I know many gay males, and not a single one that fits that mold.  Does that prove either of our points?  Nope.

The point is, there's no such thing as an "archetypal gay male", or, for that matter, an "archetypal woman" or "archetypal transsexual woman".  Just because society genders and orients behavior as either belonging to men or women, straight people or gay people, cis people or trans people doesn't mean that these behaviors are gendered or oriented.

Just because Jen makes a valid point (that certain transsexual women that she knows act like certain gay men that she knows, something that I am not debating) doesn't mean that I think she's framing it in anything approximating a respectful manner (for either the trans women or the gay men).  I'm contesting her use of "gay men" as a stereotype for promiscuity, and taking issue with the fact that she presents it in a manner that demonizes a female acting as a forward or dominant potential sexual partner (which borders dangerously close to slut-shaming).

You're in college, aren't you?

[Rebekah with a K-A-H]

You're in college, aren't you?

How does that relate to anything I just said?

[Mahsa Tezani]

How does that relate to anything I just said?

It sounds like the kind of argument I'd have with someone who was just starting college. Not that there's anything wrong with going to college...I went for a few years.

[Rebekah with a K-A-H]

It sounds like the kind of argument I'd have with someone who was just starting college. Not that there's anything wrong with going to college...I went for a few years.

And yet you seem to act as if I'm some sort of petulant, impetuous child.  I may not have however many years of experience in the "real world" as you seem to think I need, but that doesn't mean you can ignore everything I said and claim experiential superiority.

I mean, you can, I guess, but you're certainly not helping your own point by trying to divert the argument into some sort of "you're too young to understand anything, ever".