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Let's come up with some gender neutral terms

Started by Sevan, October 27, 2011, 05:34:52 PM

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Sevan

kid/child/young'in works by it'self but it doesn't really work in front of "friend" in the boy/girl friend situation...though generally I've never used that term. I don't like it. That's just me...or maybe it's not! lol. I like spouse/lover/mate. Mate is my favorite of those. I've never much cared for "partner" because it's like...partner of what. Crime? Business? I just don't like it. No real reason why..just don't. Mate is my favorite but again can't really say why. lol! Just...my favorite.

My ex wife kinda ruined the word "wife" for me. She always called me her wife with such a feeling of...ownership and toward the end of our relationship she almost...spat it at me.

When I got with Cyndi (pre-transition) I called her my mate. When we got married I liked the term husband. (directed at her...cuz again, was pre-transition..) and she never called me wife much. I mean I was her wife...but she just preferred honey, mate, sweetie and such. Perpahs because I'd shudder some at being called wife...cringe....yea.

Once she transitioned it took me a while to start calling her my wife. I still don't call her that much...sadly. I generally call her my spouse. In part because we live in a rural area that's not exactly queer friendly...but mostly because the word wife has just really been ruined. I want to reclaim it and like it again because Cyndi's come so far to have that word. She is my wife but I Just...*sigh*

That's all kinds of off topic...sort of...but whatever.
I'm also the spouse to the fabulous Mrs. Cynthialee.


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cynthialee

Boy
Girl
Nute (pronounced newt)

Nute short for nutral, as an androgyn/nuetrois child is (perhaps) in a state of gender nuetrality.
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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caseyy

I can see why wife is difficult...is does have a lot of connotations sometimes, and I've heard a lot of men (just in particular) use it in a possessive/condescending way.

'Mate' is really quite lovely. :) I always used partner, because to me, it was really significant - I'm not very social and don't collaborate with people much, so for me to say I have a partner in my life really meant a lot.

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the_physicist

Quote from: Lyric on October 29, 2011, 10:07:44 AM
The "Grammer Girl" podcast recently tackled the use of "they" as a genderless alternative and her conclusion was that it was about the best of the bad choices. The thing about language is that it has never successfully been designed, but rather tends to be a hodgepodge of terms thrown together by people in different regions and walks of life. The only deliberate modification of the English language in reference to gender that I recall succeeding was "ms." and I think that was just because it was the name of a magazine. This is a noble effort, but I doubt that you'll see "per" and "mir" being taught widely in schools anytime soon.

well, i really hope they isn't a problem for grammar sensitive people as i use it all the time to refer to posters on the internet if i don't know their gender ;). i also think it's good for androgynes. i like it anyway. although i guess as long as no one uses 'it', it's all good in my books XD.
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ativan

The term preceded the magazine. It's from the 60's, maybe early 70's.

ativan
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ativan

Quote from: cynthialee on November 01, 2011, 10:59:26 PM
Boy
Girl
Nute (pronounced newt)

Nute short for nutral, as an androgyn/nuetrois child is (perhaps) in a state of gender nuetrality.
Newt Gingrich, the cute kid on 'Aliens', salamanders, neutrinos. All I got.

Ativan
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MetaFic

Oh, I love this – or at least love giving it some thought.

Zi(e) and hir make me wince every time I read them, just for the fact that they do remind me too much of the German connotations. For myself, I like using per or they; it seems easier for those who are just beginning to understand who I am/how I feel to transfer from gender to gender neutral pronouns.

For boy/girl – the first thing that came to mind was nen, which is a Catalan term I read in one book or another. It means child, but nute does have a certain ring to it, even if half of my mind is on a cute lizard.

I love the term mada too. When I decide to have children, I think it would an easy term to adapt into any household.  I feel the same way about broster.

Mir and Mz. are probably not my favorite, but I have nothing to substitute it, therefore will leave it as is for now.

Aunt /uncle was a hard one. I borrowed from the French, Spanish, and Latin communities. It may not be anything great but maybe it'll spark a genius thought for something more fitting: tota (which was a combination of Tio and Tia, Spanish for uncle/aunt but, befitting , it means all in Catalan), tao (to closely strung with the house of thought), onte/unte (which happens to be my personal favorite despite its other meanings... be careful – after further research, onte means yesterday in Gaelic, and unte means lower in German), mapatra (sound like ma petite but roots are Latin based, not French).

Father/Mother, mm, I'll look more into it. Along with niece/nephew and grandpa/grandma.
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Sevan

Hmmm thanks for your input! I like some of those aunt/uncle choice! I'm going to have to try some of those out. :)
Has anyone seen this site: http://genderneutralpronoun.wordpress.com/ I hadn't heard of the NE set. With considering based on the sites findings. However it still doesn't address what we're trying to address here. I wanted to bring it to notice though as the way the author discusses each set is quite interesting.
I'm also the spouse to the fabulous Mrs. Cynthialee.


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Taka

in the sami language that i speak, we got 4 different words for aunt and 4 + 1(derived) words for uncle. all of which tell exactly what relation you have to the kid, the father's sister, mother's older or younger sister, married to the uncle etc... so i'm already three different kinds of aunt.
quite difficult in a way, but one good thing about it is that there is no one word for "niece" nor for "nephew". the kid is called by the word for aunt or uncle + a suffix. or to make a simpler example, i've two brothers, and i'm "siessá" to their kids. any of the kids, boy or girl, is "siessal" to me

thinking like that, if one decides to call a parent's sibling "auncle", the child one is auncle to could be called "auncling". just a suggestion of course
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caseyy

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Kristyn74




How bout asking them to call you SEV-AUNT?  ;D


Kristyn
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Sevan

I'm also the spouse to the fabulous Mrs. Cynthialee.


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Julian

Quote from: Mattie. on November 02, 2011, 10:41:07 PM
For boy/girl – the first thing that came to mind was nen, which is a Catalan term I read in one book or another. It means child, but nute does have a certain ring to it, even if half of my mind is on a cute lizard.

I really like nen. It's cute to me without the lizard connotation.  ::) And I like the idea of looking to other languages for inspiration. That's, like, at least half of what English is already.
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Shana A

A few years ago my partner came up with Unt or Aunkle   :D

Z
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde


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ativan

Newt was the character the little girl played in 'Aliens'. Soft spot right there.
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Kinkly

on the whole boy/girl bit I like Birl.  A little while ago I was involved in a little event that was called "Queer's got Talent"  (Just in a friends back yard)  My Performance included a rewording of Madonna's "Material Girl" to "We are living in a Binary World but I am a Hexadecimal Birl."  with a couple of verses making it clear I was singing about gender.

Male  Female  Netural  Other Gender
Boy     Girl       Child        Birl
I don't want to be a man there from Mars
I'd Like to be a woman Venus looks beautiful
I'm enjoying living on Pluto, but it is a bit lonely
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Padma

Hexadecimal Birl - nice :) - this one goes to B ;D.
Womandrogyne™
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~RoadToTrista~

How do I pronounce "hir" without making it sound like "her"?
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pixiegirl

Say the "hi" like you would saying "him", then add an r  :)
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Padma

Womandrogyne™
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