Lost the ability to cry

[dmx]

Has this happened to you? Regardless, how do you feel about it?

Ever since about 6 months on T (it's been over 13 now) I've been physically unable to cry. It's awesome.

[vandalrivera]

I lost the ability to cry 5 years ago and I'm not even on T yet. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when I start. I just wish I had some other option for releasing emotions hah

[~RoadToTrista~]

You could try hitting things.

[Harbor]

Yeah, I can't really cry anymore, and I'd say it happened to me about the same time--around six months on T. Overall I'm happy about it because I used to want to start crying anytime I got upset and I felt like a big baby. Sometimes it's a little frustrating because I feel like crying would be a release from stress but mostly it's a positive change for me.

[Natkat]

my mtf friend said she felt it where more easy to cry after taking homones,

I am able to cry but I think I cry less than before I find it kinda annoying in some way and in other ways not.

[dmx]

Also, it sorta looks like I'm crying in my avatar but I'm no I'm just drunk.

Overall I'm happy about it because I used to want to start crying anytime I got upset and I felt like a big baby. Sometimes it's a little frustrating because I feel like crying would be a release from stress but mostly it's a positive change for me.

Yeah, same. Expressing emotions in a more stereotypical male way gives me a sense of normalcy.
As for taking it out by other means.... I punch things usually.

[cynthialee]

When Sevan started T the ability to cry seemed lost for awhile.

Eventualy something came up that broke hir threshold and the tears came. Now Sevan can cry, it just takes allot more to get hir to that point than it ussed to back in the girl days.

Your emotions are still there, they are just mutted somewhat. You will likely cry again some day. Your crying threshold is just higher than you are ussed to.

Just do not bottle it up. If you feel the need for emotional release do not deny it, let it out.

[Nygeel]

Happened to me but I hate it. It makes it harder for me to convey my emotions.

[Arch]

I had just rediscovered my emotions when I started T and they shut down again. So I made a conscious decision to retrain myself how to cry.

At a certain point, I realized that I was under so much stress that not crying was actually hurting me. And it doesn't hurt that my therapist told me that he cries. It's not like we're bursting into tears in public--we only have our self-judgment to deal with.

It's funny. Some guys are so glad to give up crying, and they feel more masculine. I hated crying when I was living as a girl because I saw it as girly and because I couldn't always control it. Not unless I went into full zombie mode. Now I don't mind crying so much because I know I'm a man. But I wouldn't want to get emotional in public.

[cynthialee]

Obviously it is a natural reaction to the hormone.

It is a eveoltionary trait that enables men to be violent for the protection of the primal tribe without going into emotional overload.

When we transition there is bound to be something that we miss from our old lives.
For me it is male strength. I miss it. But not enough to detransition. Being a woman is what I am. I can not give up my soul for some strength. The greatest gift I recieved in my transition and from E was the ability to conect with others and express my emotions freely.
It stands to reason to me that one of the things that many transwomen are so happy to recieve (the ability to easily embrace thier emotions) would be one of the things that a transman might miss.

But it is not a loss at all. You guys still have that emotional response.
Instead of a flowing steam on the surface which anyone can tap; your emotions are a deep underground river that is powerful and strong. Only those people who can get close to you will be able to tap that river of emotions.

It is just the way of things.
Embrace it and revel in it.
You are men.

[Nikolai_S]

My experience has been a lot like Arch's. I thought I'd be glad to get rid of crying - and I am glad that I have control over it - but a certain amount of stress and depression and I was just needing to do something, and I don't always have the energy to destroy something. My inability to cry for a good 6 months, with one exception, was just wearing me out more. Strangely, for the last month I've been crying almost too easily, and I haven't adjusted my dose... but my dad cries really easily, so it might just be my natural state.

[meh]

I used to cry so easily...now my eyes well up and my throat tightens, but I can't cry. It's nice. :3

[Wraith]

I cried a lot pre-T, but that wasn't enough, I was also extremely aggressive. I smashed things against the floor and punched walls WHILE crying. And the angrier I was, the more I cried. It was totally confusing.

Now my emotions are much better organised and controlled, no more mixed emotions of massive explosive chaos.

I don't cry as easily anymore, and I don't get angry as easily either, but it's still there given a strong enough trigger.

[Nygeel]

My eyes also hurt and feel dry or something since starting T. I'm physically unable to cry. Hell, I was crying but there were zero tears. Just a scrunched up face and a tiny bit of a runny nose.

@cynthialee I don't like sexism.

[Elijah3291]

yeah, I havent cried in a long time, i used to cry when I got mad pre T, that never ever happens now, only time I tear up now is if something really sad happens, and its really hard to get to that point.  it doesnt bother me at all, in fact I wish i never teared up at all, because i really dont like it

[Arch]

My eyes also hurt and feel dry or something since starting T.

This is interesting. My eyes went through some fairly dramatic (negative) changes right after I started T, but I thought it was just age-related. Maybe it's a combination of age and hormones. I had all sorts of positive health benefits, too, so I can't complain too much...as long as my RBC and cholesterol stay within safe range.

[wheat thins are delicious]

Has this happened to you? Regardless, how do you feel about it?

Ever since about 6 months on T (it's been over 13 now) I've been physically unable to cry. It's awesome.

I've pretty much lost the ability to cry, though I've heard it can come back.  I don't think it's very awesome not to be able to cry cause sometimes I really want to and just can't.  Pre-T I always felt better after a good cry.

[Arch]

Pre-T I always felt better after a good cry.

Funny, I always felt pretty horrible after crying when I was pre-T. Now I accept it as a perfectly natural way of working off some of my stress.

[dmx]

Same here. I sometimes end up destroying stuff :x

I threw my MacBook across the room once. That didn't end well.

It is a eveoltionary trait that enables men to be violent for the protection of the primal tribe without going into emotional overload.

But it is not a loss at all. You guys still have that emotional response.
Instead of a flowing steam on the surface which anyone can tap; your emotions are a deep underground river that is powerful and strong. Only those people who can get close to you will be able to tap that river of emotions.

Good point and well said.

[LifeInNeon]

Poking my head in to say I love this thread.

I know how amazing it felt to finally be physically capable of crying when I started estrogen, and I had yet to hear any FTMs weigh in on how it felt to (or even if they had) lose that. Or be rid of it, if that's your preferred framing. Most often I would read accounts from FTMs reacting negatively to the emotional changes at first. As always, glad to hear when things are working out for others!