Starting HRT with no immedaite plans to transition to "full time"

[Tomboy Transgirl]

I am still pre-everything, but at this point my plan is to start HRT as soon as I can afford a visit to a doctor. What I have been envisioning is a gradual transition, where I start HRT (which is the part of transitioning I can most easily afford), and over a period of a couple of years I start working on lazer hair removal, and gradually moving from a male presentation, to a more androgynous look, and finally to living as a woman.

I look forward to the effects of HRT, even if I'm not immediately presenting as a woman. The lessening of my male sex drive sounds REALLY good to me.

Has anyone else gone this route? 

[Rebekah with a K-A-H]

Some people do that.

It's a perfectly valid route.

[cynthialee]

Not I. I had to go full time within 3 months of starting HRT in spite of similar plans to yours. I couldn't stand being a 'man' anymore.

Do not be surprised if the HRT does its job very efficiantly and forces your hand. I have seen it happen a few times where a girl has a similar plan as you but within 6 months of HRT they are being chased out of the mens room even when they are dressed as men.

What I am saying is that you have a path set out for you and that is wonderful, just be prepared for the unexpected.

[JenJen2011]

I am still pre-everything, but at this point my plan is to start HRT as soon as I can afford a visit to a doctor. What I have been envisioning is a gradual transition, where I start HRT (which is the part of transitioning I can most easily afford), and over a period of a couple of years I start working on lazer hair removal, and gradually moving from a male presentation, to a more androgynous look, and finally to living as a woman.

I look forward to the effects of HRT, even if I'm not immediately presenting as a woman. The lessening of my male sex drive sounds REALLY good to me.

Has anyone else gone this route?

Sounds about right. Take your time. No need to rush things unless you're suicidal or something.

[SandraJane]

I am still pre-everything, but at this point my plan is to start HRT as soon as I can afford a visit to a doctor. What I have been envisioning is a gradual transition, where I start HRT (which is the part of transitioning I can most easily afford), and over a period of a couple of years I start working on lazer hair removal, and gradually moving from a male presentation, to a more androgynous look, and finally to living as a woman.

I look forward to the effects of HRT, even if I'm not immediately presenting as a woman. The lessening of my male sex drive sounds REALLY good to me.

Has anyone else gone this route?

I'm on this route as I type! Always like to have a plan even if it doesn't go exactly as planned (huh? ). Cynthialee is right, be prepared for the unexpected, and she's not the only one I heard say this in regards to going "Full Time" and the effects HRT can have on you, physically and mentally.

This past year for me has been "something I didn't expect", and not just from the standpoint of Transitioning either, but of just how unpredictable life can be. More times than I want to remember the phrase..."I didn't expect that"...pops outs out of my mouth, I've grown to hate those words, arghhh!

But as the saying goes..."Didn't plan to Fail, but Failed to plan", is not something to take lightly! You didn't mention if you're married, single, divorced, have kids or are currently in a steady relationship. If you're just plain Single and unattached it can make things easier, but there complications that come up in any situation.

Don't get me wrong, I believe it can work to large degree and having your own "TS Roadmap" ( http://www.tsroadmap.co/index.html ) to me is a MUST! If you haven't already been to this site, pay it visit, many of us have and Andrea James lays out a good definitive outline on how to get there....

One might say it takes the "Spontaneity" out of Transitioning to plan, but this isn't just about a lifestyle change either...it  also is with many us here a matter of SURVIVAL.

Sounds about right. Take your time. No need to rush things unless you're suicidal or something.

And nice Gal's like Jenny that know what there're talking about!

[SandraJane]

Tomboy Transgirl (don't want to call ya "TT" , sorry!),

You're definitely not alone in regards to your situation, and there members here that can give ya some advice too on how to proceed. Not impossible, a little more complicated, but not impossible!

A plan helps to identify the obstacles that you either have to avoid or move. Have you seen a Therapist yet? Or isa that what you were refering to when you said "Doctor".

[SandraJane]

Yes- I've seen a gender therapist and I have my HRT letter in hand at this point.

Welll...it sounds like this has been going on for a "little while", and I betcha you've visited some other sites to get some opinions also...

What did your Therapist say?

[SandraJane]

What do you teach?

[eli77]

Like Cynthia said, plans are good but they don't always work out. I planned to go full time after FFS and about a year of HRT. I stopped being able to pass as a guy after 5 months. Depending where you start, weird ->-bleeped-<- can happen. Also just a warning that presenting as gender-neutral draws serious attention - be prepared to get stared at a hell of a lot during that phase.

But on the whole the people who take it slowly and plan it out seem to have a bit of a smoother ride.

[cynthialee]

Being gender nuetral does get allot of looks.
However, there is going to be an unavoidable part of your transition where you are androgynous.
Personally I found it to be hell, but some folks like it in the middle and strive for that place.
To each their own.

[Sophie]

Like Cynthia said, plans are good but they don't always work out. I planned to go full time after FFS and about a year of HRT. I stopped being able to pass as a guy after 5 months. Depending where you start, weird ->-bleeped-<- can happen. Also just a warning that presenting as gender-neutral draws serious attention - be prepared to get stared at a hell of a lot during that phase.

But on the whole the people who take it slowly and plan it out seem to have a bit of a smoother ride.

That is really interesting to me. I am seeing the Doctor next week to try and start HRT and I have always just assumed that I would need FFS before I could go full time. What you've said plus what other have said makes me wonder if I would need to go full time sooner than I have planned. Currently I am planning for a year on Hrt before going full time.

Honestly, if it weren't for my wife and the fact I need my job I would want to move has quickly as possible. I and my wife have three children together and I would like to keep my family together. While my wife seems to thus far be supportive of my wanting to transition she is very torn by the fact that her family will write her off for staying with me and being in a then lesbian relationship. Her family is super conservative christians that believe lbqt are all deviants going to hell unless they get saved and reformed. So I definitively know how family can complicate things.

[JessicaH]

Your plan sounds good to me since that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm 41 and in two days, I will mark my 1 year anniversary on HRT. It has really been an incredible year with many interesting twists and turns. I have got a big promotion and spent time in east Africa and I am spear heading our operations in that part of the world in the oil and gas industry.

I figure I can get away with it for another year or two and I will work as hard and long as I can so I can pay some things off and bank a nice chunck of money to continue on in the second half of my life. The only advice I can offer is don't give in to the GID too muchor  too soon or it will be in control of things and that girl inside doesn't care about "your" plans or time tables. Going in and out of gender roles (dressing, going out as "her") will make her stronger and give the GID a taste of freedom. She is a hard Genie to get back into the bottle!

Good luck!

[Joelene9]

  I am going this route.  "Tomboy transgirl" describes me as well.  My situation is a lot different on the other points mentioned.  I've just past the one year mark on my HRT.  I was 58 when I started HRT as a birthday present to myself.  The first priority was the prostate cancer scare I was having for the 4 years previous.  That turned out to be prostatitis.  My GID was secondary. 
  With the other things different is the fact that I never dated due to the GID, no partners.  You will have more pressures here than I did.  Your pending divorce and the future relationships with your children due to the divorce and your transitioning.  The HRT may give you the mood swings that others on this forum experienced.  It shut off the long nasty ones I had.  The results vary.  Good luck and a good therapist!
  There seems to be no gender neutral at my age.  I have the sub-B cups, softer and lighter skin, much thinner body hair.   The other same-age plus males in the shower room at a camping event two months ago didn't notice.  I do not stand out here.  Some of the other guys had bigger boobs than I do!  A lot of gynecomastia in my generation plus a need for Viagra. 
  A lot of things did happen during the one year on HRT.  My self-loathing went away,  The frustration of my overactive libido waned 2 1/2 weeks on the HRT.  I did have some acrimony towards my gonads, but that disappeared as well.  Certain mental things seem to turn on this year, those concerning romance which was supposed to be turned on during puberty?  Some things here that I never experienced.  Estrogen receptors not yet known?  After most of my adulthood of this not knowing the natural things of romance?  That sucks, that really sucks!   One thing is for certain:  I WILL NOT RETURN TO THE MENTAL AND PHYSICAL STATE THAT I WAS IN! 
  Joelene

[Mrs. Tina Johnson]

I'm also doing the slow and steady route...
At first, I was scared to start HRT because I thought the hormones would physically change my outward appearance right away. But, I'm 40, I've been on HRT for six months (spiro & estrogen) and it has not changed my appearance enough for anyone to notice.