Just the stuff about everything I'm going through (help?)

[cookiekangaroo]

So here's the blunt end of it- I live in southern Missouri and have a strict Catholic mother who refuses to accept that her little girl is a man. I came out for the first time as transgender four years ago, and I would have earlier, except I didn't know such a phrase existed before that. Before I came out as trans, I had been known as "the neighborhood dyke" even though at the time I still had long hair because I lived with my mom and was afraid to upset her when she liked my hair and using me as her little doll. I was almost never allowed to shop in the boys' section of the store because "girls are not boys and therefore do not where boy clothes" even though I always hated the girls' stuff. I often got yelled at for giving away or trading my clothes for boy clothes, and a lot of my boy clothes got thrown away. Anyway, right now my mom is convinced that I'm going through a "phase" and will eventually get over it. She thinks I'm doing it "to be cool" because most of my friends are also transgender teens and young adults that I met in various LGBT groups here in town. I'm also having trouble because she makes everyone else call me by my birth name and by female pronouns, which really upsets me and keeps me from being able to even hope of passing as a guy. I have some other problems outside of my mom, but I'd really like some help with this one first, as it's currently the most pressing, but I'm also having problems with doctors in the psych ward (where I have to go to get meds or bi-polar conditions) who try to tell me there is no way I could possibly be transgender because being transgender is a very rare occurrence and they don't think it can happen here as often as they've seen it. Because some of the doctors think this, it makes it difficult for me to feel comfortable talking to anyone in a hospital facility about my situation, making hormones an impossibility.

[Felix]

There are no reliable figures on how rare it is, and only you get to determine your gender identity. It's not up to them. It sounds like you are in an awful situation. You probably feel pretty trapped.

While you are young, the world gets to kick you a lot harder. If you can hold on and manage to not sustain too much damage from it, you can do what you need to do for yourself once you are free and on your own.

[Renate]

Hi CookieKangaroo:

(Sorry about that nibble on the chats, but I was a bit hungry.)

Welcome to the forums.

It sounds like you don't live with your mother anymore.
Maybe it's time to take control of your life.
Transgender is not all that rare, at least not in this age.
The important thing is not coming up with labels but just deciding how you want to live your life.
Good luck!

[cookiekangaroo]

(Sorry about that nibble on the chats, but I was a bit hungry.)

XD It's perfectly fine. I get the "nibble" reaction a lot on other forums/chats because of the username, and I think it's really funny.

In any case, I don't live at home anymore, however, my mom lives less than a block away. :/ As for labels, if it came down to stereotyping me, I don't know where I would fit, so i try to avoid labels. As for taking over my own life, that part's a lot easier said than done, I'm 21 years old and I don't have a job or diploma (I was forced to drop out of high school because I moved around the country too much and couldn't complete my junior year.) At the moment I'm relying on my roommates to pay rent (after my girlfriend and I had put in $5000 already) but one of them keeps bringing drugs in and won't pay anything for rent even though she has a job, which is not okay in my opinion.

[wheat thins are delicious]

There's no reason you can't get a job, work hard and save money by not buying anything but the bare essentials, and move somewhere that is more trans friendly.  There are programs where you can work on getting a GED.  If you want it bad enough there is a way to do most anything.

[Anon]

I agree with Andy that you should definitely work on getting some sort of dogwood diploma equivalent, and a job. You can't really do anything without either of those, and getting a good job will become increasingly difficult if you don't have some sort of education.
Good luck!

[Felix]

I paid $32 to take the GED test in 1999. I didn't study or take any classes, and I passed fine. If it's still that cheap and easy to pass, you shouldn't have any trouble acquiring an equivalency degree.

I'm not really sure what the point of it would be if you weren't trying to get into college, though. I've never had an employer ask me to prove I had a diploma.

[Sharky]

I suggest getting any job you can find. Working at min wage is better than nothing.

[MaxAloysius]

I agree with Sharky; even if it means you run fliers around the block or something, any intake is better than none. And with a little money in your pocket, I'm sure you'll find it much easier to be independent.