Gave in and bought a pack of cigarettes today.

Felix · November 10, 2011, 08:16:52 PM

I'm not actually trying to quit. I don't want to quit yet. Smoking makes me feel good sometimes. But I've smoked for 16 years, and this year cut down from 3/4 pack a day to one or two cigarettes a day. I'm almost completely broke, like overdraft danger broke, and so I'd decided I just wasn't going to buy any cigarettes. Knowing I had almost no rolling tobacco and hadn't had real cigarettes in ages and couldn't afford to buy any somehow made me want one a lot more.

Life is annoying. Addiction is stupid. I like my one smoke a day habit, but not when it interferes with my finances like this.

And lol I lit the damn thing and couldn't handle more than a few drags anyway. Tasted terrible. Like burning dried plant matter. Ew. xD

LivingInGrey · November 10, 2011, 09:43:14 PM

I went Friday, Saturday and most of Sunday. broke doen late sunday night and picked up a pack.

Just wasn't able to hang with it this time.

Felix · November 10, 2011, 09:59:51 PM

It's incredibly difficult.

Lately I've been really bothered by something I came across the other day:

QuoteAnd one more reason — a U.S. surgeon whose practice is about 85% trans-related procedures said to me once, "I flat out won't perform surgery on anyone who has smoked in the last 30 days. I find the complication rate and post-surgical scarring is much more problematic. I want folks to have a good result, and smoking interferes with that in a big way."

http://www.transtherapist.com/adults-transitioning/need-another-reason-to-quit-smoking

And my orthopedic surgeon told me his smoker patients heal much much more slowly than his nonsmoker patients.

I like to smoke, but this stuff makes me feel seriously guilty and concerned.

Mahsa Tezani · November 10, 2011, 10:04:48 PM

It was either cigarettes or cocaine.

I made my choice....

Felix · November 10, 2011, 10:19:28 PM

Lol Mahsa you made me laugh out loud. Thank you, even if you weren't trying to be funny.

Mahsa Tezani · November 10, 2011, 10:26:22 PM

Quote from: Felix on November 10, 2011, 10:19:28 PM
Lol Mahsa you made me laugh out loud. Thank you, even if you weren't trying to be funny.

But on a serious note. I quit smoking a long time ago. I do it rarely. But really, do you want to have the smell in your hair, teeth, and clothes?

As hot as the action of smoking is, I hate the smell.

Basically I am discouraging you to quit the only way I know how.

Felix · January 06, 2012, 12:23:52 AM

*encouraging

I really want the smell and taste out of my things. Smoking is becoming a less and less normal and acceptable behavior as the years go by, and the nastiness of it gets hard to ignore.

Reviving the thread because I was down to about a pack a month, but I've smoked like 6 in the last few days. Just now I got really upset, and I went downstairs and smoked a half a cigarette, and I hate to admit how much calmer I feel now. I even talked to one of the friendlier neighbors, and that made me feel good and wouldn't have happened if I hadn't gone to smoke. It was the first and probably only bit of tobacco I've had today, but still. I'm disturbed by how useful a solution it was.

mixie · January 06, 2012, 12:32:45 AM

Quote from: Felix on November 10, 2011, 08:16:52 PM
I'm not actually trying to quit. I don't want to quit yet. Smoking makes me feel good sometimes. But I've smoked for 16 years, and this year cut down from 3/4 pack a day to one or two cigarettes a day. I'm almost completely broke, like overdraft danger broke, and so I'd decided I just wasn't going to buy any cigarettes. Knowing I had almost no rolling tobacco and hadn't had real cigarettes in ages and couldn't afford to buy any somehow made me want one a lot more.

Life is annoying. Addiction is stupid. I like my one smoke a day habit, but not when it interferes with my finances like this.

And lol I lit the damn thing and couldn't handle more than a few drags anyway. Tasted terrible. Like burning dried plant matter. Ew. xD

Don't buy any more then. BTW Cigarettes cost $13 by me. So that ought to make you feel better.

Felix · January 06, 2012, 01:00:48 AM

Quote from: mixie on January 06, 2012, 12:32:45 AM
Don't buy any more then. BTW Cigarettes cost $13 by me. So that ought to make you feel better.

Haha, yeah my sister used to live in New York, and they would smuggle cigarettes in bulk across state lines because they were ten-something there. They're between 4.50 and 6.50 here, depending on what part of town you go to. I honestly get most of mine out of ashtrays or on the ground. They're free, and I'm not germphobic.

Michael Joseph · January 06, 2012, 01:02:58 AM

Quote from: mixie on January 06, 2012, 12:32:45 AM
Don't buy any more then. BTW Cigarettes cost $13 by me. So that ought to make you feel better.

13 bucks? damn i thought it was bad when marlboros reached 8 bucks here. i have a very addictive personality and people try to tell me i can just quit, its all habbit not addiction.. but no its not, im very addicted. ive smoked at least a pack a day for over 5 years. ive tried quitting a couple times and it was absolutely horrible, i didnt even make it a day. i want to quit b4 i get top surgry, thats my goal, but its going to be very very hard.

mixie · January 06, 2012, 01:03:39 AM

Quote from: Felix on January 06, 2012, 01:00:48 AM
Haha, yeah my sister used to live in New York, and they would smuggle cigarettes in bulk across state lines because they were ten-something there. They're between 4.50 and 6.50 here, depending on what part of town you go to. I honestly get most of mine out of ashtrays or on the ground. They're free, and I'm not germphobic.

I still have the box of clothes I was supposed to take pix of but was too lazy to do. PM me. They have this cheap electronic cigarette here that works pretty good. They cost $20 and it last for a long time, think a pack and half. I'll send it off next week.

Cindy · January 06, 2012, 01:41:22 AM

I never gave up, I just decided to not have the next one, that was 25 years ago. I was on 20-30 a day.

Horrible things, very addictive.

Felix · January 06, 2012, 01:52:59 AM

Quote from: Cindy James on January 06, 2012, 01:41:22 AM
I never gave up, I just decided to not have the next one, that was 25 years ago. I was on 20-30 a day.

Horrible things, very addictive.

20-30 a day is a lot. My mom smoked about that much when I knew her, and it takes a lot out of your day to get up to that number.

I had a friend once who smoked about a pack a day. Then he got a lung infection, and didn't smoke while he was sick. He didn't smoke afterward either. It was interesting. He was in his late twenties, and pretty solidly addicted before then.

Cindy · January 06, 2012, 02:34:25 AM

I'm so glad I did give up. I really think I would be dead, or worse, by now.

One of the strangest things I have experienced was many years ago when people could still smoke in hospitals. A friends father had been diagnosed with lung cancer, a big burly farmer who was losing weight as you looked at him. I visited him with my friend. His brothers were sitting in the hospital room worrying about him. (He was diagnosed terminal on arrival). They were all smoking.

chan2011 · January 06, 2012, 02:38:28 AM

I've been trying to quit. I don't smoke very much. Right now I smoke like one to two packs a month. Heh. So I guess thats improvement. A couple months ago I was smoking a pack a week. So I'll just continue to cut down until hopefully I won't be smoking at all!

Smoking sucks. Especially now that I only smoke a few times a month, I've noticed the horrible smell and taste it leaves.

Felix · January 06, 2012, 02:55:23 AM

Quote from: Cindy James on January 06, 2012, 02:34:25 AM
I'm so glad I did give up. I really think I would be dead, or worse, by now.

One of the strangest things I have experienced was many years ago when people could still smoke in hospitals. A friends father had been diagnosed with lung cancer, a big burly farmer who was losing weight as you looked at him. I visited him with my friend. His brothers were sitting in the hospital room worrying about him. (He was diagnosed terminal on arrival). They were all smoking.

That sounds so surreal.

I was having an ultrasound the other day, and my daughter didn't want to watch so she was looking out the window. She at some point got very serious and announced that a guy was SMOKING in the courtyard. Like that was just crazy felon behavior. Lol so I told her that when I was growing up people smoked in restaurants, and the ultrasound tech chipped in that she remembers when you could smoke on planes, and my daughter gasped and thought that was astonishing and horrible. Between that and the fact that phones had wires and there was no internet, we apparently come from dark ages.

Cindy · January 07, 2012, 01:03:57 AM

Before I came to Australia, my Grandma took me a aside and asked very seriously 'Do they have tinned food in Australia?'

Each new generation thinks the past one are antiques!!

mixie · January 07, 2012, 06:18:03 PM

Felix. QUIT QUIT QUIT. If you are almost there do it and never look back. I got my husband to quit smoking after 13 years. I used to be the kind of person that smoked only when drinking (ok ok every day. J/k

) But now I've found I'm almost up to a pack a day. PLEASE drop it off the face of the earth and never look back.

Think of your daughter having to nurse you through any form of cancer. In agony, pooing and peeing, crying, depressed. Let it go if you can. I struggle with it.

Felix · January 07, 2012, 06:25:25 PM

Thank you mixie that's good to hear.

tekla · January 07, 2012, 06:43:58 PM

It's almost impossible to find anyplace to smoke (tobacco) here in Cali anymore. It's banned in all indoor settings, including mulit-family dwellings like apartments now. It's not permitted in any city park in SF, or within 20 feet of a door, and several other places. It's not even allowed on the grounds of my complex anywhere. And the numbers of people smoking in Cali is at an all time low.

News:

Gave in and bought a pack of cigarettes today.

Mahsa Tezani

Mahsa Tezani

chan2011