Frustrated with certain trans men

[Nygeel]

Just as a warning, many of the things I will say might be seen as generalizations. Although I am aware that many trans men exist that are not as described, it feels as if there's more of, or I'm noticing more of the type discussed here...

I've been feeling a lot if stress lately in a lot of places. Work, my health, financial issues, and now trans men and "the community." I often see a strong white, masculine, sorta sexist type as the folks who are seen the most, or have recently come up a lot. The latest person that has been called out (somebody essentially said "you're saying messed up sexist and racist stuff") is somebody that is fairly well known. It bothers me that he is seen as representing me yet comes across as a huge a-hole.

[GnomeKid]

It sucks because there are so few of us that when people see one of us acting a certain way it reflects more strongly on the rest of us than on most other groups, but the problem is really just with people and not particularly trans men.  Sure its awful, but a good number of people are awful.  Its just life. 

[JohnAlex]

I don't know what to tell you.  that happens everywhere with every group of people.  Every group of people has a few a-holes who get noticed and then other groups of people stereotype that group as all being a-holes.  A big example is Muslims or anyone of Arabic decent, really.  Other groups of people will stereotype them as terrorists.

I think education is key, so people can see past the few who got noticed, and NOT stereotype the whole rest of the group.

[Nygeel]

The educators and people in more "mainstream culture" are the kind of people that I just wrote about.

[Brendon]

I wonder if you're talking about someone who has the initials B.A. This person seems to match your description rather well.

I was wondering this as well. Assuming this is who you are talking about, I feel absolutely terrible being associated with him. He makes the rest of us look like jerks.  Why, why, why would anyone ever think it is okay to pick on someone for being poor!? He says some really busted things to other trans people...

[Nygeel]

It's bad enough that I grind my teeth in my sleep. I don't need more reasons to clench my jaw.

[Natkat]

Just as a warning, many of the things I will say might be seen as generalizations. Although I am aware that many trans men exist that are not as described, it feels as if there's more of, or I'm noticing more of the type discussed here...

I've been feeling a lot if stress lately in a lot of places. Work, my health, financial issues, and now trans men and "the community." I often see a strong white, masculine, sorta sexist type as the folks who are seen the most, or have recently come up a lot. The latest person that has been called out (somebody essentially said "you're saying messed up sexist and racist stuff") is somebody that is fairly well known. It bothers me that he is seen as representing me yet comes across as a huge a-hole.

I havent hit the spot exacly as you decribed it, but its been annoying me that the most maculine/most pass able/steriotype guy,
often are seen as the big spot while the not so maculine/not passing/not steriotypical guys are left in the background.

for my kind of view it takes more corrage to be a guy and not so typical than to be a guy who are just like your suposed..
and its been annoying me as the trans media came up that people who are very typical and so got way more respect.

[VeryGnawty]

Vocal minority.  Every group has theirs.  Look at Christians, for example.  I'm sure most of them don't want to be associated with the Westboro Baptist Church...

[Guantanamera]

I havent hit the spot exacly as you decribed it, but its been annoying me that the most maculine/most pass able/steriotype guy,
often are seen as the big spot while the not so maculine/not passing/not steriotypical guys are left in the background.

for my kind of view it takes more corrage to be a guy and not so typical than to be a guy who are just like your suposed..
and its been annoying me as the trans media came up that people who are very typical and so got way more respect.

I understand how it feels that only the most socially acceptable trans males are spotlighted not just by the mainstream but the trans culture as well. However, I think it is a better situation than being represented by the 'least passable' members of your group.

Around the country, trans women are shown as, and subsequently recognized as, nothing more than extreme ->-bleeped-<-s with a 5'o-clock shadow.

Sin embargo, I have to agree that it definitely takes more courage to transition when you suspect that you can't pass/live outside of the mainstream.

[Felix]

Yeah I swear every time I open my mouth outside of the internet I'm expected to speak the wisdom and common knowledge of the entire trans community. It drives me crazy.

But then in the trans community, I'm sometimes a rarity for being gay or poor or a parent, and my opinions from those perspectives seem to get a little too generalized to other people in those groups, too.

I don't know what transmen you are talking about, but you aren't alone in frustration with getting lumped in with anyone else who happens to be in your demographic.

[Guantanamera]

But then in the trans community, I'm sometimes a rarity for being... poor .....

I think maybe all those successful, cultured and handsome trans men should pick up a trans woman wife... or a few.

[Nygeel]

I think maybe all those successful, cultured and handsome trans men should pick up a trans woman wife... or a few.

What the-?

[Guantanamera]

What the-?

They're aren't enough hunks for all of us trans ladies.

Some compromises might have to be made. 

[Nygeel]

They're aren't enough hunks for all of us trans ladies.

Some compromises might have to be made. 

Are you implying that you're going to compromise by instead of dating "hunky" cis men you'll date "hunky" trans men?

[Guantanamera]

Are you implying that you're going to compromise by instead of dating "hunky" cis men you'll date "hunky" trans men?

No, no of course not. I'm definitely into any man, provided he is cultured, educated, generous, blah, blah, blah.

Felix stated that it was rare that he was both poor and a trans person.
If it really is to rare to be trans and poor, I want one of the those numerous successful trans men to sweep me off my feet and provide me for haha.

Except there are not enough rich trans men to go around, so us trans girls might have to share.

Excuse me, I didn't mean to offend. It was just a lame joke. (One of many that have sputtered from my brain and fell out of my mouth.

[anibioman]

i think i might know who you are talking about and he pisses me off too. also i really dont like some other guys, and pretty much all trans characters in TV or movies piss me off.

[Guantanamera]

i think i might know who you are talking about and he pisses me off too. also i really dont like some other guys, and pretty much all trans characters in TV or movies piss me off.

I know that it's an open secret around here- but can someone clue a hapless girl in?

[Felix]

I can't clue anybody in, I'm so out of the loop in most discussions.

I will say that most transmen I've known have been middle or upper class, and pretty well financially stable. I think having resources makes it safer and saner to come out of the closet and transition.

[Guantanamera]

Same here.

...Wait, there are trans characters in television?

I've only ever seen the TV with a beard who happens to be a serial killer.

[Natkat]

I think maybe all those successful, cultured and handsome trans men should pick up a trans woman wife... or a few.

LOL,

well,
im happy they put up some good exempels, that transgenders can be happy and succesfull
but somethimes the good exempels are just "what fits of the expectations and what people wanna see" which I find wrong.
I dont see myself as a bad exempel,
but since I am a very atypical guy, not straight, not so maculine then people prefern someone who are straight and manly to be in the spotlight.
and if all what the "normal people" only are those exempels then the transgender people who dosent fit the steryotypes gets alot of prejugding.
--
I bet another factore is money, because people like to see someone who are either really misserable or really cool,
the stage where people arejust casual dosent really catch peoples interest.