Opinions on Feminine Transmen?

[dmx]

I deleted my original response to this because I didn't think it was satisfactory.

Femme trans men are fine; femme is just another variation of males. I hold them to the same standard as any other feminine man, and regard them as such.

But I also cannot relate to them.

[Walter]

I'm pretty feminine but usually I just call myself Androgynous instead. It has worried me about being a "true" FtM while still being somewhat femme. I think it's alright and as it was said before, it doesn't make you any less of a man

[pretty]

Gonna give my honest opinion... I don't see the point in transition if you just wanna be like your birth sex anyway. Other people can do what they want but for me, transition is about being able to be who I am and have that match my social presentation. Not about getting a new social presentation that will just confuse people even more once they learn who I am.

[Darrin Scott]

Gonna give my honest opinion... I don't see the point in transition if you just wanna be like your birth sex anyway. Other people can do what they want but for me, transition is about being able to be who I am and have that match my social presentation. Not about getting a new social presentation that will just confuse people even more once they learn who I am.

I kind-of agree with this. I'm pretty femme myself and don't see the need or want to be a hyper masculine guy, but I don't understand the guys that wear the dresses, sparkly shoes and whatnot. I don't want to judge anyone. People can do as they wish and I wish them the best, but I just personally don't get it. I guess if you're andro or something, sure, but FTM? It confuses me.

[Sharky]

I know everyone supposedly has a feminine side, but I can't think of any thing that's feminine about me. So I certainly don't know what it feels like to be a feminine trans man. I also don't think there is a right way to be a trans man, you just have to ID as a man. I understand that presentation and gender identity are different and that for a lot of reasons a trans man may still present in a feminine manner.  I just don't understand why any man would be super feminine, since men and women have different brains. It just doesn't make sense to me.

[Felix]

I seriously doubt that ftm guys willing to wear dresses and heels represent a sizable portion of the population.

When I call myself "feminine," I mean to the extent that I like feathers and rainbows (though I dress in jeans and t-shirts or button ups), I giggle, I am totally cool with chickening out of certain risky activities, I'm skinny and soft and foolish, and I don't mind talking about feelings or vulnerability.

This is still far far more masculine than seems to be acceptable for a female-assigned person in our society. And yeah, ID'ing as male is pretty much the main thing it comes down to. I'm a guy.

I am tough and dirty and clever. I'm not sure what else. I'm still learning which qualities I'm supposed to have for people to accept me as male, and I kinda refuse to strive for the ones that don't suit me.

[Darrin Scott]

I'm still learning which qualities I'm supposed to have for people to accept me as male, and I kinda refuse to strive for the ones that don't suit me.

I agree with this 100%.

[King Malachite]

I don't think it makes them any less of a man.  If I have their respect they have mine.  I wouldn't mind dating one either.

[wheat thins are delicious]

What are your opinions on the femme transmen?

They are men.  That's a fact.

[go..ogle]

While I don't consider myself a feminine transman I find them to be just as male as any other male identified individual. I don't know any IRL so can't really add anything else.

[AbraCadabra]

So long they well balanced - which might be their prime challenge - its just fine.

I think the challenge is to look femme and then acting / overcompensating for it by being "über-male".

It will make live VERY difficult for any partner. YMMV...

Axélle

[Zerro]

A guy is a guy, so to each their own. I have some things about me that are considered feminine or something like that, but why does that matter? I'm a guy at the end of the day, end of story bro. Having feminine mannerisms or style choices can lead to difficulty in passing, but if personal style is more important to that person, I don't really see a problem. Same goes for butch women. If there are tomboyish/butch/masculine cis women, then I don't see why trans women who like the same things should be treated any different. Some people just have their own style, and whatever works for them is fine by me.

[dalebert]

Some bio guys are feminine so I don't really see how they are different.

Eggzachary. And as a strictly gay, 6 on the Kinsey scale man, I'm frequently attracted to feminine men. As long as they seem male to me, I often find them attractive whether they're cis or trans. I think some of the bigotry directed toward men with some traditionally feminine traits (and women with traditionally masculine traits) has its roots in sexism. Having some feminine traits can be a good thing and do not make one less of a man.

[Felix]

Eggzachary. And as a strictly gay, 6 on the Kinsey scale man, I'm frequently attracted to feminine men. As long as they seem male to me, I often find them attractive whether they're cis or trans. I think some of the bigotry directed toward men with some traditionally feminine traits (and women with traditionally masculine traits) has its roots in sexism. Having some feminine traits can be a good thing and do not make one less of a man.

Your hanging around helps me a lot. I've always had a lot of shame and dysphoria wrapped up in the idea that gay guys will always find me disgusting. Some of them have so far, and weren't kind in expressing it. I can't help who I am, though. I didn't decide to be this way.

[dalebert]

We can't help who we're attracted to, but I don't understand why people

1) project their personal tastes onto everyone else.
I see this in spades with gay guys. For instance, there's this weird bears vs. twinks rivalry where if someone posts pics of twinkish guys in a gay forum, the guys into bears start all this ->-bleeped-<- about how they're not "real men" and imply if you're attracted to that you're not a real man either. I've seen it the other way around also. I've seen people say someone is downright ugly when they're clearly not. They just don't fit that person's tastes for whatever arbitrary reason.

2) are total dicks about it when they're not into someone.
Like the stuph above. I think it comes from insecurities, people who feel better about themselves by putting other people down.

It seems some combination of the above that causes guys to be dicks to trans guys or for some str8 guys to be dicks to trans women. Clearly there are people who are attracted to trans people but the dicks think they can speak for everyone else.

[Berserk]

Gonna give my honest opinion... I don't see the point in transition if you just wanna be like your birth sex anyway. Other people can do what they want but for me, transition is about being able to be who I am and have that match my social presentation. Not about getting a new social presentation that will just confuse people even more once they learn who I am.

I kind-of agree with this. I'm pretty femme myself and don't see the need or want to be a hyper masculine guy, but I don't understand the guys that wear the dresses, sparkly shoes and whatnot. I don't want to judge anyone. People can do as they wish and I wish them the best, but I just personally don't get it. I guess if you're andro or something, sure, but FTM? It confuses me.

You'd think by now people would understand that sex and gender are two completely different things. A person can understand themselves as male while also having a feminine gender expression. That does not make them any less male than some macho guy. Btw, there are some transguys who thoroughly enjoy dressing up in drag while on T. Transition for them wasn't about clothing styles, but about making their bodies match their own understandings of their bodies. Not all transguys transition just so they don't have to wear a ->-bleeped-<-in' dress. As we should know by now, it's entirely possible to be a masculine woman so transition isn't necessary just so you don't have to wear feminine clothing. It's unfortunate that mentalities like this still present in the medical community make it harder for feminine transguys to gain access to hormones or surgery and causes pressure to fit into some cookie cutter binary.

As far as "my opinion" on feminine transguys. I have absolutely no problem with them. More power to them for being who they are in a world that likes to judge anyone who is "different."

[dalebert]

I love this guy's channel.

[Felix]

We can't help who we're attracted to, but I don't understand why people

1) project their personal tastes onto everyone else.
I see this in spades with gay guys. For instance, there's this weird bears vs. twinks rivalry where if someone posts pics of twinkish guys in a gay forum, the guys into bears start all this ->-bleeped-<- about how they're not "real men" and imply if you're attracted to that you're not a real man either. I've seen it the other way around also. I've seen people say someone is downright ugly when they're clearly not. They just don't fit that person's tastes for whatever arbitrary reason.

2) are total dicks about it when they're not into someone.
Like the stuph above. I think it comes from insecurities, people who feel better about themselves by putting other people down.

It seems some combination of the above that causes guys to be dicks to trans guys or for some str8 guys to be dicks to trans women. Clearly there are people who are attracted to trans people but the dicks think they can speak for everyone else.

Yeah I think part of my problem is that there are so few gay guys, and hetero boys are now off the table. When a gay guy rejects me by pointing out that they feel exactly the same way I do about how my body is built, that hurts. Also I've never actually pursued any gay guys, but have been preemptively informed that pursuit isn't welcome, even when it was the last thing on my mind. The meanness feels intentional, a step above mere lack of social skills.

I prayed all my life to wake up and like girls so I could fit in and be normal. I still do, and I'm ashamed of that. So when a gay guy is a dick to me it proves that I belong nowhere, that I really am a biological mistake and that's my most defining detail.

I do recognize that this is just baggage that I need to get over, not the fault of the people who push my buttons.