Is it better to transition before or after having kids?

[A_Dresden_Doll]

I want to chime in about being a fairly young transitioner and a young parent. I think having my daughter helps me keep perspective. Not only do I have her to thank for helping me realize that I HAD to transition, she also helps me deal with the idea of transitioning younger. I could bemoan about how I wish I could have done this right out of highschool, or during puberty, etc, etc. But if I did, I wouldn't have my wonder daughter. If given a second chance, I would choose her over transitioning very young.

[Tammy Hope]

I know it sounds cold but I'd absolutely have transitioned before marriage and kids if I'd known then what I know now.  I love my boys, and I'm not "wishing them away" but the reality is between the grief of transition, and the ways where I mishandled parenthood due to my own issues I should never have been a father - or a husband.

but then I'm a bit of a heartless bitch so...

[Kristyn74]

I have a son , 4 years old,I'm divorced,have a new partener,and am waiting for her decision for kids within the next few years...weve talked about kids.If your partner wants kids,wait.If you want to think of 'self' or your partner.

For me at the age I am it makes no difference whether I transition now or in two years time, the results as I've been reading over the last six months are going to be the same. If i was in my teens,twenties,then I'd still have the same idea,but the results from hormones would be different.

If you're undecided do the 'endo' or doctor things you have to do before you have to be prescribed hormones,and when they give the okay then see where you're at then.maybe you find someone...maybe circumstances will change. you may want to be a father,and have a friend that wants a doner...it happens.

Kristyn

[MsDazzler]

While we are on the subject here, how do you guys who are parents already feel about adopting (assuming you guys are or will be sterile from HRT)? Is there room for another kid to love in your life.... or is your cup already runneth over?

[stldrmgrl]

While we are on the subject here, how do you guys who are parents already feel about adopting (assuming you guys are or will be sterile from HRT)? Is there room for another kid to love in your life.... or is your cup already runneth over?

I have no intentions of adopting.
I love my son and despite my SO wanting another baby, I'm more than happy as is.

[Meshi]

I simply would not have children because I am a bi intersex female.  I dont think it is conducive for bringing up children.

[Rain Dog]

I have to wonder if it's possible to do DIY sperm banking. If you have a friend who can prepare the cryoprotectant medium for you (it's obviously not as easy as dropping it into a vat of liquid nitrogen), the only cost is the N₂. The question is, will a serious fertility clinic accept it down the line?

[MsDazzler]

I have no intentions of adopting.
I love my son and despite my SO wanting another baby, I'm more than happy as is.

So you mean since you wont be able to have another biological child, you would rather not have any kids at all?

[stldrmgrl]

So you mean since you wont be able to have another biological child, you would rather not have any kids at all?

Not necessarily.  I never planned on having any children.  I liked children, somewhat, but I never wanted any myself.  So for me, I don't have a drive to have another child, whether biological or adopted.  Though just to clarify, I love my son more than anything.  He is truly a great blessing.

[MsDazzler]

Not necessarily.  I never planned on having any children.  I liked children, somewhat, but I never wanted any myself.  So for me, I don't have a drive to have another child, whether biological or adopted.  Though just to clarify, I love my son more than anything.  He is truly a great blessing.

Yeah.. therein lies the paradox. I am told by transgender parents that they love their children to death and would have never given them up, but at the same time am told that it is better to transition young while you can before having kids.

I have about 5 more months to decide before I go irrevisibly sterile, I suppose. I do not think sperm banking will be an option for me.

Oh, vey! Only if I had a male partner who I knew I was going to be with for life - he could help weigh the decision with me.

[Jeneva]

Yeah.. therein lies the paradox. I am told by transgender parents that they love their children to death and would have never given them up, but at the same time am told that it is better to transition young while you can before having kids.

I have about 5 more months to decide before I go irrevisibly sterile, I suppose. I do not think sperm banking will be an option for me.

Oh, vey! Only if I had a male partner who I knew I was going to be with for life - he could help weigh the decision with me.

It isn't a paradox, it is who you are speaking of.  I wouldn't give up my children, but for their sake we are saying it is better to transition before.  It is also a moot point, I already have children and cannot go back in time.

I'm confused.  If you are straight then why does any of this matter to you?  Your partner cannot have your children.  If we play to stereotypes (and I know that is dangerous, but it makes the point), isn't he going to want them to have HIS genetic material?  How does your genetic material matter in that equation at all?