Online dating.

[Ellieka]

Have any of you checked out transgenderdate.com? It's actually a pretty decent place as long as you are upfront about what you are or are not looking for. Most of the guys I meet on there are only looking for sex but I've met several that are real decent. I don't know how it is for guys there though. I've only met one FtM there.

[Wesley_33]

I have a profile on there. Yeah it seems like mostly guys looking for MtF and sex. I have met a few cool friends tho.

[Felix]

Thanks all. I'm not expecting much to happen, but it's kinda fun to do. I am afraid of messaging people initially, not even mentioning about gender and not passing or something.....should I be concerned and not initiate contact with people?

The stakes aren't all that high, are they? Most humans have their own set of quirks, and while you worry about being trans, there's often something they worry about just as much. I message people sometimes, but I'm cautious and take it case by case. I've had people not respond, or talk for a few days and then disappear, but no one's been outright mean or scary to me so far.

[GentlemanRDP]

I'll be honest, I'm not involved in the site, but after reading a few of the posts, I'm considering it, just for the hell of it. And when I do, you can be damned sure that my gender marker will say "M," Unless you plan on meeting them face-to-face, then what's the harm, right? For all they know, you could be hung like a stallion ^___~

[Nygeel]

I'm on transgenderdate, too. So far I've gotten messages from straight cisgender men. One guy messaged me saying he wanted me to call him and make spitting noises over the phone.

It's uh...an interesting bunch.

[Ellieka]

YIPES! yeah, I've met more then a few wackos there. Talking to a guy from there right now though and he seems really sweet.

[Felix]

I'm on transgenderdate, too. So far I've gotten messages from straight cisgender men. One guy messaged me saying he wanted me to call him and make spitting noises over the phone.

It's uh...an interesting bunch.

My giggling just startled my half-asleep kid. Dammit Nygeel. XD

[Kareil]

I normally make profiles on whatever dating site I've just heard of, list myself as F since I'm pre-everything, look at a couple profiles of guys on there, then bail on everything since they're probably all straight and not looking for what I'm looking for.  Or even this guy that a friend of my late grandmother's (who I don't ever remember meeting) was trying to set me up with - the sort where they don't know that you have anything in common other than that you're both single and have opposite parts, according to your respective parents.  Sorta felt dishonest to *not* bail while it was still in the email stage.

Anyone ever tried this on any Jewish dating sites?  (presumably it's not going to work too well if you're claiming to be orthodox and a man looking for a man, but...)

[Nemo]

TBH if you know you're definitely male-identified (or in my case, GQ but leaning more to male side), it would be more dishonest to put yourself down as female, wouldn't it?

I tried telling this to my brother during a phone chat once; he couldn't see how putting F on my profile could be a problem, so I told him - getting interest from lesbians or straight men, when you know that's not who you wanna hook up with...

I'm with OKCupid and a site called transpassions.com - have had varying amounts of luck, although I'm not the best of communicators so that doesn't help - I was open about my trans status under "Most private thing I'll admit", but after reading some posts on here, I took it off. Will be interesting to see what happens about messages.

[GentlemanRDP]

So, after being tempted and figuring 'Why the Hell not?'
I signed up for OKCupid a few days ago, and me being me,
I mentioned the trans thing a few times in a few different ways,
And believe it or not, I've had two girls message me.
One said that she was impressed by how honest I was about it,
And she actually seems pretty nice (And she's a a zombie-geek, like me)
And the other asked a few things about me being trans and mentioned that she's dated an FtM before.
Sure, it's only two people, but I'm surprised that they even messaged me at all after reading it,
So that's kind of cool.

[Dane]

I'm on transgenderdate, too. So far I've gotten messages from straight cisgender men. One guy messaged me saying he wanted me to call him and make spitting noises over the phone.

It's uh...an interesting bunch.

I lol'd so hard my mother came in an asked if I was okay. I am far too easily amused. Do they let minors on that site?

[Darrin Scott]

So, after being tempted and figuring 'Why the Hell not?'
I signed up for OKCupid a few days ago, and me being me,
I mentioned the trans thing a few times in a few different ways,
And believe it or not, I've had two girls message me.
One said that she was impressed by how honest I was about it,
And she actually seems pretty nice (And she's a a zombie-geek, like me)
And the other asked a few things about me being trans and mentioned that she's dated an FtM before.
Sure, it's only two people, but I'm surprised that they even messaged me at all after reading it,
So that's kind of cool.

So, this got me thinking. I do identify as a dude. But I still feel like I'm being deceptive by not disclosing my trans status on my profile. I mean, I know this is how I live my day to day life and am not deceiving anyone, but I'm concerned people may think that I'm trying to be something I'm not. I know, I know. It's people online and if they don't like it they don't have to see me. It's just something I worry about. I'm worried I don't pass in my pictures since I don't pass all the time in real life.

[Wesley_33]

I did it after reading and re reading this thread. I signed up or OKcupid today. I also did one for transpassions which lead to beer passion one since yeah I love beers. Now I wonder how many of us on here will see each other on the other sites?

[Berger]

There are tons of LGBT dating sites where you might be more comfortable, in fact gay.com even has options for mtf or ftm. Obviously those sites are more likely to be accepting and understanding.

[Konnor]

I met my current boyfriend on Okcupid We've only been together a month so far, but things are going very well! So don't lose hope guys, it can definitely happen. I also made a couple really good friends on there. Oh, and I'm genderqueer leaning more male, and I put M on my profile and also disclosed in one of my sections. That's just my preference though. I'd rather it be out there and people know before they message me, that way I know whoever messages me is cool with it. You might get less responses that way, but they tend to be better responses IMO. Good luck to you all!!

[GentlemanRDP]

So, this got me thinking. I do identify as a dude. But I still feel like I'm being deceptive by not disclosing my trans status on my profile. I mean, I know this is how I live my day to day life and am not deceiving anyone, but I'm concerned people may think that I'm trying to be something I'm not. I know, I know. It's people online and if they don't like it they don't have to see me. It's just something I worry about. I'm worried I don't pass in my pictures since I don't pass all the time in real life.

Well that's completely understandable :3
If you're not comfortable with disclosing the trans thing on your profile, you can always go back and update when you're more comfortable with your passing status. I mean, honestly, I don't pass in my picture (I used the same one from here) and while I don't like to worry about what people think, it's fine if you do. That's the nice thing about online though, you don't have to disclose anything that you're not comfortable with.

[kaelais]

I had a profile on OKcupid for about three months and I did mark M as my gender but I also was really open about stating that I was Ftm and transitioning.  I did seem to get a lot of weird random ppl, although no haters and a mix of males and females were contacting me. Lol I actually met my partner on there after only a few months, it was weird since we later figured out we almost met three other times! So, I would say yes, be honest about it and just use it to talk to new people but don't expect anything. Also, don't be afraid to actually go on a date!

[Felix]

I've met a few people from OkCupid. Sometimes it's awkward, but the risk is always worth it.

So when I made a new male profile (instead of just changing the gender on the one I had), I abandoned my old one. I haven't deleted it yet, though, and the site keeps suggesting I date that person. Lol. We have a lot in common.

[CountryBoy120390]

Besides OK Cupid, what are other good dating siyes?
And how do you bring the trans thing up once you are talking to somoene?

[Natkat]

I never found a site who really worked out for me.
it all seam to focus on being Mtf, or anything like that,
and the guys who use to check me out think im mtf or like to dress up in girl clothes..

its just so annoying -__-
even if theres ftm sites then it generally for people being interested in girls,