What male privileges did you lose/what female privileges did you gain?

[MsDazzler]

As I slowly and gradually leave my male life behind, I have started noticing subtle differences in my everyday life, when it relates to the so-called "male privilege" and "female privilege" (if there is such a thing as female privilege, given the rampant sexism in this world!)

Examples of losing male privilege:

Having my opinion ignored or discounted (in comparison to when I voiced my opinions as a man)

Assumed to be weak (I am a teacher who is transitioning openly, so I have noticed this acutely with my students who knew me as a man before, I have more difficulty discplining them because they just respect male authority figures more than female ones)

Being able to walk alone on dark streets not being afraid of rape (I used to never think about it whenever I walked alone as a man on dark streets at night)

Examples of gaining female privilege:

Being let to go first in the line, especially if the next person is male (especially when boarding the bus or train)

Strangers picking up things you dropped for you (this never happened to me in boy mode - they assume you are macho and can handle things yourself)

Getting drinks offered to you, of course, by males (at straight bars, that is)

What are your thoughts?

[Mahsa Tezani]

I can't go out and have anonymous sex anymore. But men respect me more now than before.

[Lily]

I gave up the "privilege" of being nauseated and/or suicidal every time someone gave me a compliment related to being male.

I gave up the "privilege" of going in men's places I would never want to go anyway and where I always felt supremely uncomfortable.

Being able to walk alone on dark streets not being afraid of rape (I used to never think about it whenever I walked alone as a man on dark streets at night)

In a hotel room in Reno in 2005 I was drugged and felt up while unconscious by a woman, and my "friends" afterward (who I don't speak to now) were giving me pats on the back and telling me how awesome it was that I "finally got some action."

So yeah. Male "privilege" = people not giving much of a **** when you're raped. If the situation was reversed everyone would be outraged.

Being let to go first in the line, especially if the next person is male (especially when boarding the bus or train)

Strangers picking up things you dropped for you (this never happened to me in boy mode - they assume you are macho and can handle things yourself)

Getting drinks offered to you, of course, by males (at straight bars, that is)

For me, the only good thing about being a man is NOT getting this kind of attention. If someone offers me a favor because they're just simply nice, that's one thing, but I wouldn't want it to happen because of my sex.

[AmySmiles]

I gained the "privilege" of getting hit on by people I want nothing to do with.
I gained the "privilege" of not having my opinion taken seriously unless it's actually a really good idea and I repeat it.
I gained the "privilege" of being patronized by men who know (a lot) less about a subject than I do.

It is a welcome change to have people being nice to or smiling at me all the time though.  And it is, of course, a welcome change to finally feel like myself instead of a giant puppet show.

I'd honestly say I came out behind except for the fact that I finally feel like myself.  That one little thing is enough to outweigh anything negative about transitioning.

[MsDazzler]

I can't go out and have anonymous sex anymore. But men respect me more now than before.

What do you mean? Natal females do that all the time, having anonymous sex. They just don't 'fess up or brag about it like men do. 

[Mahsa Tezani]

What do you mean? Natal females do that all the time, having anonymous sex. They just don't 'fess up or brag about it like men do. 

There's the security issue due to being trans and having a penis. If I had/wanted srs, I could go get anonymous sex again.

[Torn1990]

  (if there is such a thing as female privilege, given the rampant sexism in this world!)

White straight cis women privilege vs women of color.
Great thread by the way! 
I think we should also talk about how we as trans women still yield male privilege.
I will never have the pressure to reproduce nor will I feel like less of a woman for not being able to and no one will judge me as a trans woman for not having kids and a family. 
I enjoy letting go of that disgusting masculine wall/front i had to put up at times just to feel safe even though some times i still can use it which i hate but sometimes i have to..

MsDazzler: Mahsa makes a great point because we're talking about privilege! bragging rights is the privilege. Women are called sluts, and trans women who sleep around aren't taken seriously because they're "fetishizing" themselves. That is how that privilege works.

[Mahsa Tezani]

MsDazzler: Mahsa makes a great point because we're talking about privilege! bragging rights is the privilege. Women are called sluts, and trans women who sleep around aren't taken seriously because they're "fetishizing" themselves. That is how that privilege works.

I land a lot of straight straight men. No ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s, besides my b/f. Even if I was post op I wouldn't lie to the men.

No, I can't meet a guy and bring him back to my place and have sex like a normal woman. I have to explain to him I still have a penis, I used to be a huge fruity gay boy, etc. There is a huge amount of rejection I experience because although most guys are like, "You're a hot ass chick"...No guys wants a girl with a penis cuz that would make him gay by our society's eyes.

I don't have the freedom of meeting a man and being like, "Let's go do it somewhere". I have to screen the men I hang out with....

[MsDazzler]

I land a lot of straight straight men. No ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s, besides my b/f. Even if I was post op I wouldn't lie to the men.

No, I can't meet a guy and bring him back to my place and have sex like a normal woman. I have to explain to him I still have a penis, I used to be a huge fruity gay boy, etc. There is a huge amount of rejection I experience because although most guys are like, "You're a hot ass chick"...No guys wants a girl with a penis cuz that would make him gay by our society's eyes.

I don't have the freedom of meeting a man and being like, "Let's go do it somewhere". I have to screen the men I hang out with....

Actually, you don't have to screen the men, lol. Just go to Divas or go onto transgender dating sites - you ll find plenty of men to sleep with. lol

[Mahsa Tezani]

Actually, you don't have to screen the men, lol. Just go to Divas or go onto transgender dating sites - you ll find plenty of men to sleep with. lol

Nope. Why the hell would I want to date ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s when I can land straight and bi men? Furthermore, most of the men who hang at Divas aren't my type...at all. Bunch of old man homely smelly asswipes. That place is so homophobic and god, I love Landa and Anji....But no one else there.

I prefer gay/bi men who are part of the culture up on Castro street. I've had plenty more success there and in the burbs.

[Sunnynight]

That whole thing where people automatically take you seriously just for opening your mouth. I lost that.

But people open doors for me now. Like omg, that's totally worth losing respect.

[apple pie]

For me the thing I notice the most is just how most guys now act so sweetly and nicely to me

I don't have any problem with my opinion being ignored or respected compared to when I was being a guy so far...
(Guys who don't know I'm trans still ask me for help with their math for example )
However, on subjects that *I* need help with, I like to let them keep talking. Then I absorb all their knowledge, AND it keeps them happy (to feel like they've just helped a girl with their vast, or "vast", knowledge)

[Alainaluvsu]

That whole thing where people automatically take you seriously just for opening your mouth. I lost that.

But people open doors for me now. Like omg, that's totally worth losing respect.

People never took me seriously ... ever. I tend to be playful.
And in the south, both genders get the door opened for them.

I don't pass whatsoever (but sometimes I do have to double take in the mirror and take a split second to determine what gender I look like), but I have noticed women more often give me the smile as I pass, and men don't nod at me nearly as much

[Sunnynight]

People never took me seriously ... ever. I tend to be playful.
And in the south, both genders get the door opened for them.

I'm in the south and while it's true that most people will hold a door for someone close to them, going out of their way to hold the door is something that never happened to me when presenting as male.

[Alainaluvsu]

I'm in the south and while it's true that most people will hold a door for someone close to them, going out of their way to hold the door is something that never happened to me when presenting as male.

I've actually had the door held open for me from quite a ways away by both genders.  Surprisingly, mostly by men. However, I'm sure the frequency would increase in my case.

[AmySmiles]

I'm in the south and while it's true that most people will hold a door for someone close to them, going out of their way to hold the door is something that never happened to me when presenting as male.

Haha, yes.  I've had guys hold the door for me from awkwardly far away, like 30 seconds.  I felt like I had to hurry up just so I wouldn't keep them waiting!

And to add to my previous post, I think it's very funny when guys fall over themselves not to disappoint me.  Case in point: I was getting a sandwich at the deli a few weeks ago and they were out of what I wanted.  The guy making my sandwich practically ran to the back to see if they had more, almost crashing into 2 people in the process.

[Beth Andrea]

I'm pre-everything, but wearing nails, earrings, growing my hair out, and being more open ("girlie") at places...

Very few ever ask my thoughts on things...and even fewer take me seriously. (But then, that's how things were before, too)

I get a lot more smiles and friendly waves. (Before, as a 100% guy, I'd only get 1 or 2 people/week who'd smile and initiate waving...now it's like a race to see who waves first. Yes, I was friendly before, but no one responded. It was like I was living alone on the planet)

[MsDazzler]

Nope. Why the hell would I want to date ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s when I can land straight and bi men? Furthermore, most of the men who hang at Divas aren't my type...at all. Bunch of old man homely smelly asswipes. That place is so homophobic and god, I love Landa and Anji....But no one else there.

I prefer gay/bi men who are part of the culture up on Castro street. I've had plenty more success there and in the burbs.

Actually, aren't those ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s straight and bi as well? Those categories are not mutually exclusive, you know.   

Oh, Castro is very fun! It is certainly a district like no other in America.

[Annah]

i haven't lost any privileges being a female now. I'm still pastoring a church and living my life. Nothing has really changed in the aspects of privileges.

[MsDazzler]

Omg - yesterday evening as I was walking out of a convenience market, I was not paying attention and coins fell out of my clutch wallet as I was putting it into my purse while walking at the same time.

As I was standing at the corner waiting for the walk signal, a couple actually tapped me on the shoulder to give me the coins that was dropped onto the ground. The guy even bent over to the ground and picked up some few more for me. I could not help blushing because that felt so good and never happened to me as a guy.

And I was hardly dressed to impress - I was in totally bum mode, with glasses on, my hair pulled back in a sloppy french twist and a simple top with a jacket and flowing pants, heh.