How do you tell people to use the correct pronouns?

[Anon]

Question:
How do you, personally, tend to tell people (family, friends, professionals) to use the correct pronouns when referring to you?


Other info:
Generally, if they are unaware of my condition I start by saying something like "I was born with transsexualism", and then "I am male, please refer to me as such".
Unfortunately, being polite doesn't get through to 85% of the population and they just brush me off, so if they continue to use incorrect pronouns I'll say like, "Out of respect for me, you need to stop using the incorrect pronoun".
Does that sound okay, and to the point?

The reason I'm asking is because soon I have to visit the town I was born in, where most of my family and a lot of people who knew me up until age 4 still live, and literally none of them think they should have to respect me until I legally change my sex.. I'm just tired of people thinking they can walk all over me..

[MaxAloysius]

I'm in the exact same possition right now (visiting family who refuse to change) and it is a real pain in the arse.

Instead of being so formal, I just quietly correct them every time they get it wrong. So if they say 'She doesn't think so', I will just quietly say 'He', and then move on with the conversation. It's slowly getting through to them, because I think more than anything people hate being corrected.

If you get really annoyed at one of them though, but there is another person you know who is doing really well, you can ofter use them as an example. Like 'It only took my sister a week to get my name right', and sometimes this will jog them into the right pattern because people hate being outdone.

[Sharky]

Just saying the right ones as soon as they say the wrong is to the point. Why out yourself to someone when you don't have to? I think you're being overly polite. No one needs an explanation, they aren't doing you a favor.
With family it can be difficult. What counts as legally changing your sex? How would they even know if you did or not?

[JohnAlex]

How do they know if you've legally changed your sex?  I would lie to them and say that I had.  Over here, it's actually very easy to change your sex on driver's license.  not so easy to change on birth certificate, but they don't need to know that.

[Moonferret]

Usually if someone refers to me as she I will simply say "He" in correction as if I were just correcting a mispronounciation or if they had said "cat" instead of "dog". No one seems to mind and they will often appologise. If I know theyre doing it on purpose I'll just ignore them or say "Im sorry who are you talking to?" and they usually get the picture or walk away, either way is fine by me.
There are times when I get frustrated because it keeps happening but usually my friends will step in if this happens and alot of them will correct each other in the same manner I would correct them so this method seems to work, no one needs to know anything more than that so I see no need to explain myself to them, a simple correction works fine.

[dmx]

The only people who refer to me as female are family members and the idiots who knew me pre-transition and act like nothing's changed. I either correct them and say "he", or tell them "I'm male" or "my name is ____".  I wouldn't bring up the subject of transsexualism - I'm just a guy and that's that. Having this condition does not differentiate me from any other man.

Once, earlier in transition, I said something like "I'm a guy like any other. Just respect my identity," and she did.

[Felix]

When I get misgendered, I correct the person politely, and if need be, repeatedly. If they make it clear that they do not respect my gender orientation, then I explain that I can't work with them (or talk to them or whatever) in any functional way if they aren't going to use my chosen name and pronouns. I disengage from people who continue to be disrespectful after that.

[Morgan.]

Most people who I still have kept around in my life after coming out are using my preferred pronouns without fail, sometimes my family may get it wrong once or twice but I really don't mind. I sat down and had a long conversation with my Mum and my Stepdad and explained that it would make me a lot more comfortable and would help how I felt if they could make the effort to use male pronouns, and since then it hasn't been a problem.

When I meet new people with my girlfriend, she will use male pronouns with me and usually it will reassure them of my gender orientation. I pass a lot of the time so it makes things easier, but when people second guess/use the incorrect pronouns upon meeting me, I usually just laugh it off and correct them or my girlfriend will beat me to it if she's with me.

[Keaira]

Meh. Im lucky if I can get some of the people I work with to call me by my name! Some have taken to using my last name only.  If people get my Gender wrong I'll usually repeat it with the correct one. For example:

"Donavan can go start up press 1 while he starts up press 7"

Me: " that's a good idea, SHE can start up press 7 and then go shut down press 16 and start on the mold change. "

Heck, management is doing better at it than anyone else.

[Mr.Rainey]

I usually just correct people by saying I am a he. Usually ppl apologize and correct themselves. I state it as a fact because it is one.

If people keep making the mistake I usually say "Hey dude, I'm a dude!" this usually works.

The trick is to just state things as a fact and don't be mean. Always accept someones apology and remember that bio men get confused as women sometimes.

[insideontheoutside]

The only time this has a tendency to bother me is if I'm out and about in "guy mode" where no one really knows me and I get ma'am. But I detest being called that regardless. So I have corrected people before. Here are some things I've actually said to people:

"I know I may look like a chick, but I'm not." (response was a very apologetic I'm sorry)
"Um, I'm not female." (same response with the apologetic sorry)
(laughs) "It must be the hair ... but I'm not a ma'am." (response was an uncomfortable "oh i'm sorry)
"I know I'm pretty, but I'm not actually a girl." (response was strange look and "oh")

As you can see, sometimes I like to have fun with it

[anibioman]

i usually pass so im good when it comes to people who dont know me but i live in the same town i was born in so ive been going to school with the same people since  was 5 so besides my friends no one calls me he it also doesnt help that when i first came out in school none of the teachers used the right pronouns so i guess the kids never learned to say he i usually just ignore them or make a confused look.

the best is when someone ->-bleeped-<-s up in front of my 7 year old brother. example:

"....so she is taking latin"
"he is taking latin"
"..... uhh..."
"you mean he cuz Parkers a boy"
"oh sorry... yes, so he is taking latin."

this happened with my paternal grandmother and my little brother griff is the best i love that kid he completely accepts me as his older brother.