A bigender question

[mynhii]

Although I originally thought that I should have posted this topic in the Androgyne forum, I think this forum is more appropriate for me. I'm not sure what label is right for me

1/ I want to be permanently free of facial and body hairs.
2/ I want to shave my prominent trachea.
3/ This is a big one. I want a vagina-like sex organ. I don't like my penis.
4/ People say that women usually need to feel loved in order to have sex. As a gay man, I'm exactly like that. Casual hookups are never for me.
5/ Like many women, I love animals.
6/ I don't like sport although I work out regularly.
7/ I'm mostly soft. Swearing never occurs to me.
8/ I enjoy getting my nails done. No color painting though.
9/ I like cooking.

And so on. In general, my feminine side seems more dominant than my masculine side. However, it's strange that I still feel like a man. I don't want to become a woman. I don't want estrogen injected into my body. I don't want long hair. I don't like female clothes. I don't wear makeup.

What do you think I am? Am I a bigendered person without knowing it?

[spacial]

You're you. Who you want to be.

Personally, the only lable I want is, The one who will be getting a load of cash.

Sadly, I can't seem to pursuade anyone else.

[Eva Marie]

According to susan's wiki (www.susans.org/wiki/) bigender (bi+gender) is a tendency to move between masculine and feminine gender-typed behavior depending on context, expressing a distinctly male persona and a distinctly female persona.

The switching between male and female genders is the key to being defined as bigender - if you switch between genders then you're bigender.

You are the only person that can decide if bigender fits you or not.

[mynhii]

Well, in general, I will be hyper masculine if I have to be. However, being nurturing always feels natural to me. I feel more stable when I can get into more "soft" stuff. Iron-pumping activities intimidate me although I can toughen myself.

[umop ap!sdn]

3/ This is a big one. I want a vagina-like sex organ. I don't like my penis.

This is telling.

Are there specific reasons you don't want to be a woman? Or do you simply feel it wouldn't be you? What aspects of having estrogen in your body do you not want?

[Rebekah with a K-A-H]

Don't want to rain on your parade, but even if you found a sex-reassignment surgeon who would be willing to perform an operation on someone uninterested in transition or someone not identifying as female, you'd have to take either testosterone or estrogen to avoid osteoporosis.  If you were to take testosterone, body hair could potentially be an issue.

That said, stereotypical gender expression doesn't mean one has a gender identity of any specific sort as these have literally nothing to do with each other.

[mynhii]

Don't want to rain on your parade, but even if you found a sex-reassignment surgeon who would be willing to perform an operation on someone uninterested in transition or someone not identifying as female, you'd have to take either testosterone or estrogen to avoid osteoporosis.  If you were to take testosterone, body hair could potentially be an issue.

That said, stereotypical gender expression doesn't mean one has a gender identity of any specific sort as these have literally nothing to do with each other.

Thank you. I have been thinking about my body hairs. I'm determined to permanently remove them by electrolysis.

[Rebekah with a K-A-H]

Thank you. I have been thinking about my body hairs. I'm determined to permanently remove them by electrolysis.

Again, good luck.  That's probably going to take thousands of hours of electrolysis, which sounds nightmarish to me, but, well, diff'rent strokes.

[mynhii]

This is telling.

Are there specific reasons you don't want to be a woman? Or do you simply feel it wouldn't be you? What aspects of having estrogen in your body do you not want?

It's exactly what you ask me: I feel it wouldn't be me. I'm happy with most of my male sex characteristics except my prominent trachea, my body hairs on certain areas, and the thing down there. Other than that, I like my masculine face and body frame. Having estrogen would be a no no. I don't want breasts or curve.

What surprises me is that I don't freak out like other people although I sometimes question myself about my desire. It's like the answer about my identity is always there. Once I find clues in transgender community, everything makes sense.

What I'm not sure is the appropriate medical term that can applied one me. According to my desire about my sex organ, I would be a transsexual. However, a transsexual person wants his/her life to be in the opposite sex to their birth one, and I'm not. 

[mynhii]

Again, good luck.  That's probably going to take thousands of hours of electrolysis, which sounds nightmarish to me, but, well, diff'rent strokes.

Thank you.
Well, maybe this is weird. I don't like my facial hairs because they are itchy, and I hate shaving. Same thing with my pubic hairs. Hairs on my torso make me feel unattractive. Other than that, I don't mind hairs on my arms and legs. But you are right: That's probably going to take thousands of hours of electrolysis, not mentioning the cost.

[justmeinoz]

If you don't have persistent discomfort with your body then you really don't meet the definition of transsexual.  That doesn't mean your feelings are invalid, it just means you fit in another niche.  If you keep looking you will find it, and be able to live a content life.
For hair removal, laser will get rid of any dark hairs faster than electrolysis.  Any grey or fair ones will still need electro though.

[mynhii]

If you don't have persistent discomfort with your body then you really don't meet the definition of transsexual.  That doesn't mean your feelings are invalid, it just means you fit in another niche.  If you keep looking you will find it, and be able to live a content life.
For hair removal, laser will get rid of any dark hairs faster than electrolysis.  Any grey or fair ones will still need electro though.

Thank you for your supporting words. It's a blessing that I came to the USA 8 years ago. Although close-minded people are there, lots of open-minded people exist. It's good that I don't need to act to fit standards of being a man.

[Rebekah with a K-A-H]

If you don't have persistent discomfort with your body then you really don't meet the definition of transsexual.  That doesn't mean your feelings are invalid, it just means you fit in another niche.  If you keep looking you will find it, and be able to live a content life.
For hair removal, laser will get rid of any dark hairs faster than electrolysis.  Any grey or fair ones will still need electro though.

Keep in mind, though, that electrolysis works in the presence of testosterone at permanent removal, whereas there is more recidivism of the hairs with laser.

[mynhii]

Keep in mind, though, that electrolysis works in the presence of testosterone at permanent removal, whereas there is more recidivism of the hairs with laser.

As long as the specific hair follicle is gone, testosterone cannot reactivate it, can it?

[Caldwell]

Fancy looking like Buck Angel?

[mynhii]

Fancy looking like Buck Angel?

Maybe except that I'm not into porn industry. It's not like I'm going to show other people what I have. I only want to be who I'm supposed to be.

[Rebekah with a K-A-H]

As long as the specific hair follicle is gone, testosterone cannot reactivate it, can it?

I'm not saying there's no effect, and indeed, when the hair follicle is gone, testosterone is not going to heal it.  However, when it merely weakens the hair follicle, the darker hairs are still going to come back when it gets better.  So you'll have partial success, but not as much as you'd get with electrolysis, I'd wager.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big advocate of laser, but for someone who wishes to remain having testosterone as their dominant hormone, electrolysis is probably more reliable.

[mynhii]

I'm not saying there's no effect, and indeed, when the hair follicle is gone, testosterone is not going to heal it.  However, when it merely weakens the hair follicle, the darker hairs are still going to come back when it gets better.  So you'll have partial success, but not as much as you'd get with electrolysis, I'd wager.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big advocate of laser, but for someone who wishes to remain having testosterone as their dominant hormone, electrolysis is probably more reliable.

I see what you are saying. Well, laser or electrolysis is equally painful, isn't it? Then I'm going to stick with the method that can guarantee results. I'm Vietnamese, every single hair in my body is black, so I need a good electrolysis.

The question is how weird my face will look. I wonder how many scars I will have to have in order to achieve a hairless face.