Womanhood or Femininity?

[Princess of Hearts]

I think that I am strongly attracted to femininity rather than womanhood.   There are aspects about being a woman that I either don't like or they make me feel uncomfortable.   Because my sister has a huge number of friends I get to see and meet just about every possible female personality.   I know shy girls, loud girls, girls whose language is foul, girls whose idea of a cuss word is 'damn'.   I know girls who talk about sex 'and doing it' all the time just like a boy, and girls who blush at the mention of kissing a boy goodnight.  I know girls who are feminine in manner but not feminine in dress, I know girls who are feminine in dress but not feminine in manner.   I  even know slightly a girl whom I suspect might be an FTM, or she just could be a young woman who likes beer and pool and 'fixing things'?

What all these girls/young women have in common is that they are very interested in men, dating, love, and babies.  Even those girls who say 'I am going to be a senior partner in a law firm by the age of 35'  still want to have a husband and children and a rewarding home life.

I am feminine in dress and feminine in manner and rather overtly to.  I have noticed that while there are girlie-girls they are not all that common.   In addition my mother has said that my taste in panties, socks is not something a woman would consider wearing.    I do dress in a way more suitable to a girl than a woman, and I wonder if this strong attraction to girlishness is actually a sign that I have mixed up a strong feminine side with the desire to be female?   

[Princess of Hearts]

Of course another explanation could be that this 'girlishness' is a manifestation of a female brain/mind.     I am so very fed up analysing and categorizing myself.  I am just me.

[Jen61]

You need to tell us what are your definitons of "femeninity" and "womanhood" are

[JulieC.]

I am so very fed up analysing and categorizing myself.  I am just me.

Being just me is all you need to be.  There are a million different variations of women...No set rules as you have observed...so why wouldn't that apply to you as well?

[pretty]

Personally, what I want to be and what I find attractive are different things.

[Jaime]

I wear socks and I'm a woman, dammit!!!!     

[eli77]

What all these girls/young women have in common is that they are very interested in men, dating, love, and babies.  Even those girls who say 'I am going to be a senior partner in a law firm by the age of 35'  still want to have a husband and children and a rewarding home life.

I don't want a husband! Oh god, I must not be a woman, I've made a terrible mistake... oh wait no I'm just a dyke.

Really, the only person who can know what you are and what you want to do with your life is you. It's kind of irrelevant what all the other girls are like.

Maybe you are just making up for lost time? A lot of trans women go a bit underage for a while after they come out. Most eventually get over it.

[lilacwoman]

I spent the day shopping yesterday and got dress, tops, skirts from several stores and also looked at all the lingerie but have plenty bras and pants so didn't need to buy any but the vast choice of styles available and being bought does make me ask what style of pants yours are if your mother says they are not what other women would wear.

care to describe better so the rest of us don't fall into the inappropriate pants trap?

[Padma]

I'm really uninterested in femininity, in general - but I am female.

[Catherine Sarah]

What all these girls/young women have in common is that they are very interested in men, dating, love, and babies.  Even those girls who say 'I am going to be a senior partner in a law firm by the age of 35'  still want to have a husband and children and a rewarding home life. 

........ and the medical fraternity have the hide to call this "gender dysphoria"??  (Dysphoria: Abnormal depression AND discontent ref: Wikidictionary) 

As I stand in the queue (actually jumping up and down being a better description) for GCS, this is where my mind drifts to with monotonous regularity. For goodness sakes; why else would I want to go through this?  I must be somewhere close to being normal, after all.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[Jaime]

I wear socks and I'm a woman, dammit!!!!   

lol, that should have said that I sometimes wear men's socks. 

[Bishounen]

"Girlieness" is actually very common in MTF's, as they are reliving their teenage years that they missed out on.
No reason to try to suppress girlieness at all, and I do understand why the aspect of "Womanhood" can actually be considered a tad boring, for lack of better term.

If you feellike a girl, then be a girl.

[Torn1990]

 Well i think that's where certain privileges that are not talked about can come into play.
I think biological women that pass as biological women can wear girlish things and it is not as criticized,
but if you are a trans woman, how you look and perceive femininity is under the microscope by every one.
it's a harsh world, but i say own it if you are pleased with what you see in the mirror.

Unfortunately, we probably can't wear girly things without people wondering if we are trying to relive our
younger years but when bio women do it, it's cute or can be applied to their youthful personality.
While I think their could be truth to that, it's also a pile of crap.

[RhinoP]

Honestly, I think femininity is the act of doing things that society considers more female than male, though there is no law book saying what males and females act like. And I think womanhood is really most an idea of a woman becoming fully mature around age 40 and subduing quite profoundly to the "wife/mother" role. Overall, like said above, there's absolutely no "typical" way a woman (especially young women) acts, and the people who actually go out and experience life and have tons of girl friends know this. The folks who think there's a strict behavior when it comes to women are folks who base women off what their mother was, or whichever girl they were most jealous of in school.

I've my entire life seen males and females as psychologically equal, but I plain think certain types of men are "sexually" attractive to my bottom-role mind (and no type of woman), so it plays a big part in why I want to be a girl. If every single man on this earth found other men to be attractive no matter what their partner looks like, I'd say I'd have much less of a face-value issue in my life. However, there are many other reasons I want to be a girl too, it's just, if I actually had a partner right now who somehow, for once in my life, was attracted to me without my transition, then this transition road would indeed be easier, I'd have a bit more confidence. Many people already have that blessing because they pass enough, or have such loose standards that they fall in love with obese asexual men who just do not provide passion for them.

I'm just so ugly/manly + high standard that it's been impossible for me to find a partner who loves me back, so actually, opposite to how psychiatrists think that you shouldn't transition because of sexuality/dating life preferences, I do think my very unique face+personality situation really plain out validates my cause. Other than that reason, I'll be honest and say my "hobbies/clothing style/personality" could work in either a man's or woman's body, as I act and dress very androgynously and don't have a HUGE problem with doing it, but I do hate my masculine body and face. Personally, I think that's sort of what femininity is, I want to look feminine all over, but I'm not interested really in being a part of strict "womanhood" - though, in my case, it may be a valid point to say I want to be a part of  "girlhood".

[Bishounen]

Well i think that's where certain privileges that are not talked about can come into play.
I think biological women that pass as biological women can wear girlish things and it is not as criticized,
but if you are a trans woman, how you look and perceive femininity is under the microscope by every one.
it's a harsh world, but i say own it if you are pleased with what you see in the mirror.

Unfortunately, we probably can't wear girly things without people wondering if we are trying to relive our
younger years but when bio women do it, it's cute or can be applied to their youthful personality.
While I think their could be truth to that, it's also a pile of crap.

It's really not a matter about "thinking" that alot of MTF's are trying to relive their youth, but a fact, as many of the MTF's have simply said so themselves.
And, as said, it is nothing bad, really, as the person doing it can after all sort of "re-live" their youth in a way that they now can control, which they couldn't earlier on.
I also consider it to probably be good for the "inner child" aswell, as to keep a "young" mind, so to speak.

On the other hand, it is ofcourse also somewhat tragic, as it, after all, is a result from a missed out youth that the person should have had but didn't.

Still, and as the saying goes; 'Better late than never'.

However, perhaps Japanese Crossdressers takes the cake, though.  pink lolita 2

[Padma]

I struggle with people (and especially trans women) assuming that because I'm a trans woman, then "of course" I want to appear "feminine", and all the uninvited advice I get about makeup (I don't wear it) etc, and the assumption that if I'm not wearing makeup and feminine clothing, it's because I'm "not confident enough to", because it's hard for people to imagine that some people just don't want to look like some other people.

I'm very clear that I'm a woman, I'm female - and that my preferred appearance would (if I'd managed to transition earlier in life) be to look like a woman who looks androgynous, like Shane, bless her. I don't know what my version of this is going to turn out to be at my age, but femininity (as a goal) has no more place in my sense of self than masculinity does.

[YinYanga]

I have this issue aswell, constantly thinking whether its womanhood or femininity...but I also know the more variety I see the more I know that some quirks in me arent all that odd

MAybe you could see it like one girl once said to me when she noticed me being silly over it : "You just started puberty over again by the looks of it and you might act and feel odd, but you'll get there and feel comfy eventually"

That was wisdom for me

[Jen61]

I have this issue aswell, constantly thinking whether its womanhood or femininity...but I also know the more variety I see the more I know that some quirks in me arent all that odd

MAybe you could see it like one girl once said to me when she noticed me being silly over it : "You just started puberty over again by the looks of it and you might act and feel odd, but you'll get there and feel comfy eventually"

That was wisdom for me

What conssitutes womanhood or feminity are but social constructs that very from time to time and from culture to culture. Pink was for boy in the 1800 America, not adter the 1920's. and so on and so forth.

[YinYanga]

And a large part is also just feeling like it

[Bishounen]

What conssitutes womanhood or feminity are but social constructs that very from time to time and from culture to culture. Pink was for boy in the 1800 America, not adter the 1920's. and so on and so forth.

Are you saying that breastfeeding is a social construct?

And, if Femininity did not exist in Nature, than it will be difficult to explain why every Culture all over the World knows what a feminine male is.
Yeah yeah; "But that feminine male would be described differently by each Culture!"-  Not very, actually.
A feminine male would still according to every culture either Native American, modern European, ancient Biblical Times, Asian or whatever, be someone that cooks, sews, nits, associates with females, "talks like a girl", seeks the company of girls, and "does things in woman's style", and, as the Yuman Indians puts it; "Puts his hand before his mouth and laughs with a womans laugh".

Sure, several of these things can also be done by a Cis-male, but certainly not many Cis-males would chose to do all of them by own choise, just as generally quite few Transmen would do the same, as they are guys, and the brains of guys are wired differently.
If they weren't, Transsexualism wouldn't exist.