I have ->-bleeped-<-. Is 20 too late to pass *attractively*? (pics)

[supremecatoverlord]

It seems that attractive is a really big deal to you here.
Not to worry, because you are an extremely attractive person.
The fact that some of your features are androgynous and pleasing to the eye will help your transition along nicely.
Also, transitioning at an earlier age gives your body less time to fully masculinize, so it's probably better to do it as early as you can.
Honestly, you should not be worried about being incapable of passing, because there are few people are truly "incapable".
However, I actually think you are one of those people who may pass a lot more quickly than other people are transitioning though.
         The only real passing issue for you is your height, because you are above the average height for a bio female ; I  have this problem too because I am way below the average height for a bio male. I'm about 5'2" - 5'3", give or take. If it were possible, I would gladly exchange heights with you, but it is not. Standing out seems like a bad thing, but even some cis-females will stand out because they are abnormally tall. I read somewhere recently the typical female model is almost always on the taller side, so tall women can be seen as exotic but in a good way. :]

[pretty]

This young person is exhibiting classic signs  of a transsexual (although I like the word Transgendered) but we won't go there! Drag queen is something totally different.

As far as not thinking your trans or maybe not wanting to be. That's me I hate being trans but thats what I am too most I am an average woman to my family and associates I am trans nothing I can do about it. I was where you were at 17 years of age. I knew something was up at 9. At 16 I was presenting as a girl many times. At 25 I was minutes away from meeting someone to start possible HRT (this is before internet) I decided to suppress it tried to be the guy again, got married, had children (thank GOD) then at 39 wife decided to leave almost died from depression, was constantly CD'n in which I hated but loved?? at 41 I decided I had to confront that I am a transsexual.

Three years later my children have all excepted me, I have officially changed all legal documents to match my name and gender, I am chemically castrated, I have blended into society as just another woman, I swim, go to the gym, involved in my childrens school and am out at work for the most part (different situation here) I still have a ways to go but 3 years ago I never would of thought I could do this. I have very low self esteem, introverted and associate with hardly anyone. If I can do this trust me, anyone can. It has taken me awhile but for the first time in my life I think I may be able to be happy. I may never get to 100% but who really does?

Your young your comparing passable (blending) with attractiveness's. Most 16 year olds do not look like Selena Gomez (hope I got that right) most 20 year olds do not look like Kim Kardashian, Most 30 year olds don't look like (can't think of one LOL,most  NO! 40 year olds don't look like Cindy Crawford  you get the point. You have to like yourself before you see whats in the mirror. Passing is all that matters when first accepting yourself, after awhile it will still be important but their are way too many other aspects of being a woman that take up more time.

As far as  ->-bleeped-<-, any trans person that gets horny would be classified as this! Don't get hung up on that crap!

Shelly

I don't think you should be forcing other people in one direction or the other if it took you 41 years to make a final decision about your own gender Not everyone who ever thinks "I want to look like a woman!" should transition. A lot of cis men think that sometimes, just so ya know.

OP said they have a purely physical desire and the definition of ->-bleeped-<- encompasses that, transition is about physical changes for social reasons, not about the physical changes themselves.

[stldrmgrl]

I'll chime in with the gender therapist recommendation.  Start there.  A gender therapist can help with any confusion, doubts and worries.  As well, a good gender therapist will not persuade you either into or against transitioning.

[Forever21Chic]

I'll chime in with the gender therapist recommendation.  Start there.  A gender therapist can help with any confusion, doubts and worries.  As well, a good gender therapist will not persuade you either into or against transitioning.

  Best advice i've heard so far. I don't think we should get into the whole issue of whether ->-bleeped-<- does or doesn't exist thing and start a flame war.

  JD if you should decide to transition i'll just say you'll look great! In my opinion you have potential and your still young but even so don't expect to turn into a goddess or something, be realistic and you'll do fine. 

[cynthialee]

It has been said but I will also say it.

->-bleeped-<- theory is bunk.

Get into see a proper gender therapist.

[BrokenCode]

Wow, you are really really pretty...without the glasses! You started at 24.5, but how long after you started did you take that picture?

  Thanks.

Yeah I started at 24.5 around March of 2010. I slowly went on hormones too. So I probably was on full dose around possibly September 2010. The picture was taken November 2011. However, its really not just the hormones alone; What helps feminize more are losing weight (not ridiculously just ideal BMI range), facials, eye brow shaping(biggest thing I think), and make-up(big one too).

I also started my transition the wrong way, bad way which is DIY. Don't do it that way!! I truly didn't really know where to start at. And the therapist is the way to start.

Hugs

[Inanna]

So you started at 20 as well? Were you satisfied with your results? How passable/attractive do you perceive yourself as?

I'm passable w/out makeup.  Attractive?  That's subjective, but I kind of think so.  My mom and sister say they envy my looks, but I think that's because I'm thin and tall (5'9''ish), while they're short and weigh slightly more.   The only facial surgery I had was tracheal shave (adam's apple) and a rhinoplasty (nose).  I think you're face is more feminine than mine before HRT.

Response to 1-5
1) Have always wanted a female body
2) Yes I have this feeling.
3) I'm not sure what you mean here, but I have always tried to fit in with guys to no avail.
4) True for me.
5) I can't verify if those are true.

I was hoping I would get as good results as my biological twin sister. Here is me and her in this picture. I look in the mirror alot and "see" the girl, like I think I would get results.

I believe you'll have very good results.  Personally I love being in my body now (never did before), it feels soft and smooth and graceful... overall I just "fit" into it perfectly.  And having breasts is awesome, sometimes I look down and just start smiling.  

[Ultimus]

Ok, well I officially quit taking my testosterone shot and estrogen blocker (aromatization inhibitor). It has been almost a week (I would normally do every 3rd day). Lucky for me, my body automatically produces extremely low levels of testosterone (which is why I had to get on TRT to begin with).

It seems that attractive is a really big deal to you here.
Not to worry, because you are an extremely attractive person.
The fact that some of your features are androgynous and pleasing to the eye will help your transition along nicely.
Also, transitioning at an earlier age gives your body less time to fully masculinize, so it's probably better to do it as early as you can.
Honestly, you should not be worried about being incapable of passing, because there are few people are truly "incapable".
However, I actually think you are one of those people who may pass a lot more quickly than other people are transitioning though.
         The only real passing issue for you is your height, because you are above the average height for a bio female ; I  have this problem too because I am way below the average height for a bio male. I'm about 5'2" - 5'3", give or take. If it were possible, I would gladly exchange heights with you, but it is not. Standing out seems like a bad thing, but even some cis-females will stand out because they are abnormally tall. I read somewhere recently the typical female model is almost always on the taller side, so tall women can be seen as exotic but in a good way. :]

awwww wow, you mean that? thanks that means a lot, thanks for telling me that.

How do you know that being an attractive "woman" will make completely happy? If you have ->-bleeped-<- you will never be a woman; you will just live fetishizing yourself and will come to realize that fact.

You have to remember that just passing takes A LOT of work. Becoming an attractive woman will take a very long time. Can you take being unpassable for any length of time?

I would also like to mention that about 95% of the attractive transwomen you see were previously effeminate gay males. For them, being a woman is only about a step up, in terms of femininity. Because they embraced their feminine side prior to transition they enjoy shopping for nice clothes, applying makeup, and the like. You probably won't.

I wouldn't transition if I were you. It just isn't worth it.

Listen, you don't know me. You don't know what I'll be "fetishing" about, and don't act like you do. First of all, not every girl is stereotypical. Not everyone wants to run out and do ballet and be a princess; I sure don't. If it's a just a fetish, then how come I experience it when my sexual drive is ZERO, how come I experience it everytime I pass female clothes, or look in the mirror? It's true that probably most TS are homosexual transsexual (sorry if that term is offensive, it's just what I've heard it called), but some are ->-bleeped-<- transsexuals.

OP said they have a purely physical desire and the definition of ->-bleeped-<- encompasses that, transition is about physical changes for social reasons, not about the physical changes themselves.

I have innate desire to be a girl. Period. I have had this since my earliest memories at 2-3. Why should it matter if I'm doing it for physical reasons / myself, instead of for social reasons?

  Thanks.

Yeah I started at 24.5 around March of 2010. I slowly went on hormones too. So I probably was on full dose around possibly September 2010. The picture was taken November 2011. However, its really not just the hormones alone; What helps feminize more are losing weight (not ridiculously just ideal BMI range), facials, eye brow shaping(biggest thing I think), and make-up(big one too).

I also started my transition the wrong way, bad way which is DIY. Don't do it that way!! I truly didn't really know where to start at. And the therapist is the way to start.

Hugs

Wow, again, that is really great progress, and you should be very happy with yourself. If it's not too personal, do you have any pictures of you as a guy?

[Mahsa Tezani]

I think you need some work. Now what you want to do with that statement is up to you.

Results? I am not sure. Depends on how much you put into it. Hormones aren't magical and wearing  clothes aren't all it takes. It takes a lot from within as well...

[Forever21Chic]

I think you need some work. Now what you want to do with that statement is up to you.

Results? I am not sure. Depends on how much you put into it. Hormones aren't magical and wearing  clothes aren't all it takes. It takes a lot from within as well...

  I'll echo mahsa and say it depends on how much werq (we say werq instead of work on this board lol) you put into it. Most of those girls you posted on youtube put alot of blood sweat and tears into their transition, hormones can only do so much.

  You should check out the 3 stickied threads in this section, there are alot of beautiful ts girls here.

  Again best advice i can give is to see a therapist who specializes in gender/sex issues.

  Good luck! - xo

 

[Mahsa Tezani]

  I'll echo mahsa and say it depends on how much werq (we say werq instead of work on this board lol) you put into it. Most of those girls you posted on youtube put alot of blood sweat and tears into their transition, hormones can only do so much.

Dressing for your body time, wearing makeup to depreciate masculine features(foundation goes far, but this is more in depth), knowing what hairstyles to wear, dressing an appropriote fashion, knowing how to behave, etc

You can be a pretty feminine/andro boy before, but if you don't put forth the WERQ. You will look ugly, laughable, etc...

You can look like this and still make a hot chick with some werqk:



eeek... I just tell someone to look at the ones who haven't put forth work and if they want to be like that. But different strokes for different folks...

Get advice from people from many different people as well.

[Just Shelly]

Drag queens friggin rock.

LOL...I've met some drag queens who look better than most TS or GGs. The techniques DQ's use can be translated into "femmeaflauge" for most transsexual women.

Thats right, let's not pretend that society doesn't consider us men in drag if we have anything remotely "male" about us. I am a part time DQ and I love it...I am also a TG performer/dancer for a few clubs in SF. Part of acknowledging yourself as trans will be knowing some can tell, some can't tell...some don't care. But the people who hate us, see us as pathetic men in dresses.

Thats Great! Good for you!

I have nothing against queens. I'm just not one! nor am I a transgendered performer. I am not putting on an act for someones amusement, I'm sure though many are amused. Part of acknowledging your trans is not caring if someone can tell!.  Many times you don't "pass" because they know your past. Many times you "pass" because they don't know your past and sometimes you "pass" even if they do know who you are. I have told teachers I am my kids father yet they still refer to me as their mother, I have told business clients my (very) male name yet they assume I am female. Still in other situations I could look like Pamela Anderson, yet if they know my past I am still "him" or at the best trans.

You can't explain what or who you are to every single person you come out too but I don't want to be referred to as a drag queen. Just as I don't want to be referred to as a man. Drag queens are the ultimate feminine of a man, they do not care if people know they truly are a man.

How do you know that being an attractive "woman" will make completely happy? If you have ->-bleeped-<- you will never be a woman; you will just live fetishizing yourself and will come to realize that fact.

You have to remember that just passing takes A LOT of work. Becoming an attractive woman will take a very long time. Can you take being unpassable for any length of time?

I would also like to mention that about 95% of the attractive transwomen you see were previously effeminate gay males. For them, being a woman is only about a step up, in terms of femininity. Because they embraced their feminine side prior to transition they enjoy shopping for nice clothes, applying makeup, and the like. You probably won't.

I wouldn't transition if I were you. It just isn't worth it.

Do you have any statistical proof of that 95%

So being an effeminate gay male gives someone an advantage of being an attractive transwoman.

Being a woman is just a step up? Ya sure if being a woman required only wearing makeup and dressing pretty!
I'd love to see some of these 95% have a typical conversation with a typical woman!

[BrokenCode]

Wow, again, that is really great progress, and you should be very happy with yourself. If it's not too personal, do you have any pictures of you as a guy?

Your too funny.  Of course..
This was me like 2 year before I started. I was in a bad situation then.


You can also look at others on this thread page 121.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,90021.2400.html

[Butterflyhugs]

The therapist I was seeing when I accepted that I was trans tried to tell me I wasn't because I didn't explicitly hate my body. I got a new therapist, and I think you should too.

Someone experienced with gender issues will help you decide if transitioning is the right thing for you, and not try to make that decision for you. That being said, I myself see a difference between I have an innate desire to be a girl and I have an innate feeling that I am a girl . How small or big that difference is, and how important it is, is up to you and your therapist to figure out.

P.S. I started transitioning at 20 so no I don't think it's too late. Like Mahsa said, it just takes werq!
P.P.S. If you pay attention to the 2nd half of my video that you referenced, content-wise, you'll notice that life can become very difficult no matter how attractive you may be.

[Cindy]

Since I'm transitioning in my fifties, 20 is no problem

And you look like what you try for. Hormones and make-up do wonders. It just takes practice, at least I keep telling myself that.

Cindy

[Mahsa Tezani]

I have nothing against queens. I'm just not one! nor am I a transgendered performer. I am not putting on an act for someones amusement, I'm sure though many are amused. Part of acknowledging your trans is not caring if someone can tell!.  Many times you don't "pass" because they know your past. Many times you "pass" because they don't know your past and sometimes you "pass" even if they do know who you are. I have told teachers I am my kids father yet they still refer to me as their mother, I have told business clients my (very) male name yet they assume I am female. Still in other situations I could look like Pamela Anderson, yet if they know my past I am still "him" or at the best trans.

Maybe not to you you're not putting an act. I respect people's gender...But to certain outsiders, you're no different than me. We're in the same boat, even if my boat has smokey eye and short shorts.

People know. People aren't stupid. Some people can spot a person who once presented as a male, no matter how "fool proof" the "illusion" is. I think my DQ's friends make much better women than 90% of the TS/TG I've ever seen and I still friggin know that they are boys during the GAYTIME. Maybe because they realize that transactions is 50% mental, 25% what you're born with and 25% illusion. Yeah, it's an illusion to a certain degree and being the sorceress in this mirror ball show, I don't fall for tricks.

Listen hun, they will know you a "him" even if you get srs. People aren't naive, a majority of them just don't care.  I realize I can't and don't want to delete my past. I am proud to have been a gay man and now a Transsexual woman. But of course, those things are relative.

[Mahsa Tezani]

So being an effeminate gay male gives someone an advantage of being an attractive transwoman.

Being a woman is just a step up? Ya sure if being a woman required only wearing makeup and dressing pretty!

Appearance accounts for how most people perceive each other. Yeah and it was a step up...anyone who saw my boy photos knew I was extremely effeminate before. I enjoyed makeup, dancing, I was a proud gay male, etc... It is a ton of werqk even for a day to day function...... two jobs...etc

But being a ts was better path for me... NO FATS NO FEMMES still very much applies to the cisgay world at the moment. I'm not even that into straight guys, I am into HOMOSEXUAL men who like femininity... They exist. They also like a atrophied set of balls too.

[Just Shelly]

Maybe not to you you're not putting an act. I respect people's gender...But to certain outsiders, you're no different than me. We're in the same boat, even if my boat has smokey eye and short shorts.

People know. People aren't stupid. Some people can spot a person who once presented as a male, no matter how "fool proof" the "illusion" is. I think my DQ's friends make much better women than 90% of the TS/TG I've ever seen and I still friggin know that they are boys during the GAYTIME. Maybe because they realize that transactions is 50% mental, 25% what you're born with and 25% illusion. Yeah, it's an illusion to a certain degree and being the sorceress in this mirror ball show, I don't fall for tricks.

Listen hun, they will know you a "him" even if you get srs. People aren't naive, a majority of them just don't care.  I realize I can't and don't want to delete my past. I am proud to have been a gay man and now a Transsexual woman. But of course, those things are relative.

This is not a magic trick like you make it out to be. I am not trying to play a trick on anyone! You were once a gay male and that hasn't changed too much. Your life style evolves around illusion and effeminate gayness. (these are your words)

Step out in the real world, yes sometimes people can tell but most don't even know what the **** transgendered is. I'm not trying to fool anyone that knows my past, but at times I feel like I am trying to fool the ones that don't. I am trying to get past the point of feeling like I am deceiving people but reading posts like yours doesn't help.

I have to realize your lifestyle was and will be different then mine. You would not like to be compared to me as well as I don't to you. It has taken and will take more werq sacrifice to accept and become who I was meant to be.

[tekla]

People aren't naive, a majority of them just don't care.

True that.

but most don't even know what the **** transgendered is
The SF Bay Area has one of the largest TG populations in the world, it would be rare here to find someone who has not met/interacted with/been around a TG person.  In some populations, like the gay subculture, the mainline department stores, theater/shows, the 'arts' community, the BurningMan people, it would be impossible NOT to know some.

[A_Dresden_Doll]

Ok, back on topic, people. Can we please try not to externalize our perceptions and fears of what it means to be trans onto  jdinatale? Pretty please?

Ok, so I just want to reinstate what I said in my first post. SEEK OUT A GENDER THERAPIST. Now, for the most part, it really is up to you to decide if you are a trans woman or not. A good gender therapist will help you sort through confusions, but honestly, sans any major mental illness, if you say you are a woman, then you are a woman. Don't get hung up on trying to validate yourself. It's hard to quantify how what you feel, means that you are neurobiologically one sex, in the body of another sex. How you describe yourself and feelings, really hit close to home with me. From my perspective of your situation, it really does seem like you are a woman who is transgendered.

Of course, I don't want to impress any of my own biases on you. Do only what YOU want to do. I know that part sucks, and in my past, I just wished someone would have told me I was trans. But it can't work that way. This process is just to delicate and personal to put it into chance from another person's bias or opinions. Whatever you decide to do, please be safe and well. Again, if you need anything, send me a private message.