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Being "alternative" in transition - does it help?

Started by Jay-Bird, December 10, 2011, 03:51:09 AM

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Mahsa Tezani

Quote from: sictransitkira on December 10, 2011, 08:06:02 PM
Oh Mahsa your inflating my girl ego with all your compliments!

I calls em as see em!

I listen to Britney, Cher, Madonna, Aqua, Xtina, ABBA, Niki Minaj and DEATH METAL.
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Rabbit

Quote from: Miya on December 10, 2011, 05:10:50 PM



Oooooo I am really digging this looks :D She doesn't look off-putting.... yea, it is alternative, but in a very attractive / beautiful way.

I can't wait to start trying to find my style P: It is such a person by person thing..
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Jay-Bird

Quote from: stldrmgrl on December 10, 2011, 07:11:33 PM
I don't think the OP ever suggested they were looking for career advancements; the point of the thread was coming out at work, though correct me if I am wrong.  In this respect, I can somewhat relate.  I'm not full-time as I do not pass nor do I wish to even attempt to at this time.  I am "riding the hormones", letting them do their thing, and in the meantime taking care of most the other goals in my transition (laser, hair growth, saving for FFS, voice, etc.)  In fact, I don't have any plans to go full-time until after FFS.  Currently, I dress andro and present as such as well.  I don't know the differences between "alternative" and "andro", but the principle seems to be the same (or their entirety for all I know).  I feel we are both similar in our transition plans in a more generalized sense.  However, the two areas we do not relate are, I am unemployed and even if I were outed at my job prior to going to full-time, I wouldn't mind so long as there were no negative career related ramifications.

To comment on the photos, just to be honest, that look does not present a feminine appearance in any way, unfortunately.  Though, as you stated you are not attempting to present female and the photos are you in guy mode, I trust this was more or less unnecessary for me to say.  But, nonetheless.

All true, this thread has gone completely of the rails, it was meant to be about work coming out and how things are going for me right at this moment.
We do indeed have similar plans for coming out, regarding ffs and so forth and yes I am by no way trying to appear at all fem yet at work, the way I dress just seems a way for me to stop wearing and buying guy clothes while transition is going on in the background. At least that way by the time I do come out as full time and start presenting my wardrobe will be much fuller and I would have wasted no more money on guy clothes which are obsolete.

I took my guy pics down cause I really hate showing them, they were purely there to help my post which as I said has gone completely sideways, so I am just gonna leave it at that.

Oh' and Masha for what its worth, we are obviously VERY different people in every possible way and I am more than fine with that. We have very opposing views and ideals about society and its various constraints whether it be in fashion or work, again which is all fine - each to their own. You go one way I go the other, you choose to portray a certain image/look to obtain a certain goal in your life, fine. I dress in a way that feels most comfortable for me right now, no its not where I want to end up but for now it works as I explained earlier. The whole "you should dress a certain way cause your so and so age" sorry but I just don't buy into that, yes of coarse you should should be conscious of how you portray yourself but it should not stop you from trying as best to represent externally at least some of who you are.

Alas, I am tired of this dance and am somewhat disappointed this thread was so badly derailed into some stupid fashion war.
Do and be who you wanna be, that is why we are here in the end.

ciao,
M


Without sleep there are no dreams, Without dreams we fall apart at the seams
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AbraCadabra

No, certainly not at my age - as I was told, and in fact as I know too.

In any case if you want to stick out like: "Hey, I'm a transsexual!" go for it.
Being clocked as a 'chick with a dick' may just be fun too - for some, yes?

Axélle
Some say: "Free sex ruins everything..."
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Jay-Bird

Quote from: Rabbit on December 10, 2011, 08:31:06 PM
Oooooo I am really digging this looks :D She doesn't look off-putting.... yea, it is alternative, but in a very attractive / beautiful way.

I can't wait to start trying to find my style P: It is such a person by person thing..

Here is another, I think they are from the group Era, kinda of an Enigma project from memory.
She is stunning, I love the head dress and the eye make up too.
I would love to darken the whole look up a bit, and some nice boots would make it too, but that's just me.
Dress is a very personal and individual thing indeed :)



Without sleep there are no dreams, Without dreams we fall apart at the seams
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Jay-Bird

Quote from: Axélle on December 10, 2011, 08:43:28 PM
No, certainly not at my age - as I was told, and in fact as I know too.

In any case if you want to stick out like: "Hey, I'm a transsexual!" go for it.
Being clocked as a 'chick with a dick' may just be fun too - for some, yes?

Axélle

wow, ok.
Not really sure where that came from.
Don't know what part of dressing a different screams "transsexual" or "chick with dick" I mean really..
I know of quite a few girls who dress kinda goth I guess just to pigeon hole it, they pass great and no-one ever bats an eye lid.
Look, just because I am transitioning does not mean my personality and core of who I am changes.
I am not going to all of a sudden start dressing like some 45+ year house wife from the suburbs - cause that is simply not me.
In fact sorry, but for me I couldn't think of anything worse.


Without sleep there are no dreams, Without dreams we fall apart at the seams
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sictransitkira

Quote from: Miya on December 10, 2011, 08:45:28 PM
Here is another, I think they are from the group Era, kinda of an Enigma project from memory.
She is stunning, I love the head dress and the eye make up too.
I would love to darken the whole look up a bit, and some nice boots would make it too, but that's just me.
Dress is a very personal and individual thing indeed :)


I love her eyebrows! I kinda dig the whole post apocalypse steam movement, mostly as a spectator though, i dunno how head dresses and monocles would fit into my girl image.
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AbraCadabra

If you attract attention - which you will by what I understand in your asking in looking different "alternative", folks will check you out a lot closer, A LOT.

That WILL get you clocked, if you think not - as I said go for it.
I'm not saying dress like a frump, did I?

Axélle
PS: as for 'chick with a dick' ---  >80% transsexual females are non-op so that be easily explained.


Some say: "Free sex ruins everything..."
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drvotion86

If your style is working for you then go for it... The way i dress is the girl next door =). I always felt the alternative style only works if your in a band or work at hot topic or your in highschool. I guess the graphic design field lets you be creative with your wardrobe. I say do whatever makes you feel comfortable while coming out. And i can see what that comment would come from makeup can sometimes make you look harder in the face. Certain clothes can make you look manly.... I have experienced this in the beginning...
And i mean no disrespect!
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Jay-Bird

Quote from: Axélle on December 10, 2011, 09:01:15 PM
If you attract attention - which you will by what I understand in your asking in looking different "alternative", folks will check you out a lot closer, A LOT.

That WILL get you clocked, if you think not - as I said go for it.
I'm not saying dress like a frump, did I?

Axélle
PS: as for 'chick with a dick' ---  >80% transsexual females are non-op so that be easily explained.


ooook this just seems to never end...
omg I am 33! no 70.. and even that shouldn't matter.
What just because someone is a trans woman they should conform to every idealistic middle age safe woman look so not to offend.
Wow how very sexist and unfortunate.
I am not saying to put on a clown suit and wave a TS flag in your other hand am I, this all sooo out of hand I really don't get how it got to here.

Oh' and thanks heaps for your PS...
well done.


Without sleep there are no dreams, Without dreams we fall apart at the seams
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kelly_aus

I think there's also somewhat of a clash of cultures happening in this thread Miya..  As another Aussie, I've seen it happen here at Susan's quite a lot..

Australian culture, in general, seems to be fairly accepting of 'alternative' or 'different' people.. Sure we have the bogan crowd, but most of us are fairly relaxed about such things. Despite the comments I get in the 'Do I pass?' thread, I do, pretty much all the time..

If the alternative look works for you, go for it.. I've worked several places where there was a mix of suit wearers and a more casual look.. Neither group seemed to get promoted or anything more often than the other..
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tekla

"Alternative" is just some bogus posing where you get to pretend that you're 'not like everyone else' by finding a different group of people and conforming to them.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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stldrmgrl

Okay seriously, this is getting pathetic.  We all conform to a fashion style in one way or another, whether it be intentional or not.  Some of us have a style that "fits" us personally and thanks to labels created by people within that style who feel it needs to be labeled or by others who are insistent upon categorization, feuds such as this arise.  If "alternative" is someone's true style and expresses their desires in fashion, so be it, who cares.  If gussied up Barbie is your true style and expresses your desire in fashion, so be it, who cares.  If anything else is your true style and expresses your desire in fashion, so be it, who cares.  It is no one's place to tell someone else their fashion is unacceptable by society's standards; those standards are so flawed they practically don't even exist.  In fact, "society's standards" are so diverse, it's nothing more than a mask term used by people who refuse to say "in my opinion"; because that's all it is.  My god, stop this bickering.  This post in no way whatsoever requested fashion suggestions or career suggestions.  A simple yes or no would suffice to answer this thread if it's too much for you to hold back the negative comments in which I've read.  A negative opinion is fine, but be respectful.  Diversity is beautiful.  If you don't agree, express it without projecting senseless babble onto others.
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drvotion86

I think you being uncomfortable is just getting used to being one of the girls... Being called ma'am for the first time definately caught me off guard and made my heart skip a beat. After a while it will come easier.
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tekla

You must admit that whoever thought up the idea that you could sell non-conformity (in a consumer society), or that you could buy cool, or hip, or revolutionary, or alternative hit the mother-lode of gullible.  And I think that at some point (lots of them really, and the older you get the more there are) non-conformity looks a lot less like rebellion and a more like "I don't have a clue what is going on here."
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Mahsa Tezani

Quote from: tekla on December 10, 2011, 09:51:25 PM
"Alternative" is just some bogus posing where you get to pretend that you're 'not like everyone else' by finding a different group of people and conforming to them.


My boyfriend said that tonight.
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Mahsa Tezani

Quote from: Natalie <3 on December 10, 2011, 10:34:28 PM
I think you being uncomfortable is just getting used to being one of the girls... Being called ma'am for the first time definately caught me off guard and made my heart skip a beat. After a while it will come easier.

Get used to it, you won't be called "sir" ever again Nat.. Trust me hun...I got called it as a boy sometimes and it was off putting for awhile. But I got used to it and I worked for a sports stadium in SF where we've had TS workers leave because of the sports fans...

I haven't been called "sir" in ages. Even in WeHollywood and Bakersfield.
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AbraCadabra

Quote from: Miya on December 10, 2011, 09:21:21 PM

ooook this just seems to never end...
omg I am 33! no 70.. and even that shouldn't matter.
What just because someone is a trans woman they should conform to every idealistic middle age safe woman look so not to offend.
Wow how very sexist and unfortunate.
I am not saying to put on a clown suit and wave a TS flag in your other hand am I, this all sooo out of hand I really don't get how it got to here.

Oh' and thanks heaps for your PS...
well done.

Ask questions... get answers.
If you don't want to hear answers - don't ask questions, or?

Easy peasy hon,
Axélle

PS: again no one suggested to dress like a 70 year old frump - if that seem your only alternative to "alternative" you just go for the latter. Why even ask?

Some say: "Free sex ruins everything..."
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Noelle

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on December 10, 2011, 06:50:03 PM
Yes, I love celebrities, fashion, makeup. I am for attracting yuppy types, so it's best to dressed like that.

Art comes from within. Sorry, I'd rather look like a conformist yuppy housewife who says she's an artist than the age old cliche. You work in graphic design, so you can look however you want. But if you want a higher corporate position, you will need to conform. "dressing like an artist" seems like your clothes define you're art...they don't.

or burning man... whatever. You look like some adult punk/biker. I don't care for the emphasis on subtleties.

Btw. this is my art:


being an artist has nothing to do with how you dress, and everything to do with your porfolio and skills...

From the image you posted, its no wonder you couldnt make it... im sure it had nothing to do with your appearance or personality.

I calls them like i see's them.

Would be nice if you took a break too, i just browse these forums randomly from time to time, and on every single post, its your silly face as the first response.

Your same exact face from a slightly different angle, in a different bathroom...

Get life.
xoxo


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Jay-Bird

I have to say its a shame really...
I came here, posted an innocent topic which I thought perhaps would be of some value or to share a similar experience maybe with others in the same situation.
Get some positive or at least constructive criticism.
Instead I get flamed and berated like I am in some video game forum by a bunch of teenage little girl trolls.
Its pathetic, sad and a great shame for the transgender community that there are such immature, sad and ignorant people who come here cause ____ just because they have nothing else or better to do with their time. This is suppose to be a place where people come to share stories help each other through experiences, perhaps even meet others of a like mind.

Job well done, for welcoming someone who is relatively new to this and making them regret ever trying to reach out.

Do you feel better? Pulling people down is generally a way for those who have rather deep seeded issues or insecurities of their own to cosmetically make them feel superior or better about themselves.

once more, good job


M


Without sleep there are no dreams, Without dreams we fall apart at the seams
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