I'm taking a couple of nights off from Modding for personal reasons. Admin are aware, so don't get upset if I do not reply to posts
But I had to post this.
I go to a shop that sells French products, jewellery, bags etc. It is cute, and expensive but so what. I joined their loyalty program during the year when I bought a necklace. I was wearing male clothing at the time but I signed up as Cindy James, as I always do. When I bought the necklace there was some discussion about who it was for. I told Helen, the owner that it was for me, Cindy. She was fine, 'Oh I have to see it on you, please come in with it on, or send a picture.' I never got around to doing so. Last week I got a card saying the shop was having a drinks night and showing new stock pre Christmas, but you had to RSVP as a loyalty memeber. So anyhow I went in on Saturday, again in male clothing (there are reasons which are complicated). Helen saw me and said 'Cindy, its been ages, and you never came back wearing the necklace, she is a large vocal lady, who is delightful. I was introduced to her new staff member who looked quizzical on meeting Cindy. I then said I really came in to book in for Monday nights party. 'Oh, Fantastic' goes Helen, you will be number 20, unless you want to bring a friend, that will be the limit. I said I'd be coming alone, and to look out for the necklace, she looked a bit odd at that.
So I went tonight. I wore my beige skirt, knee high boots, a black open blouse to reveal this V shaped solid glimmering copper necklace (Karen and Kelly have seen me in this skirt and boots and I reckon I look OK
) My handbag was also one I had bought from the same shop, a soft grey leather bag. Really nice. Make-up was good. Felt fine. Indeed I felt gorgeous.
So there I go. In to a shop containing 20 other woman, no one I knew, except the owner, and it is a small shop so no way of hiding so I just went for it. pretty sure I'm the only woman with a male voice in this shop. Pretty sure I'm the only woman with the wrong equipment between the legs. Pretty sure I'm going to enjoy/panic/hate this, I wonder what gaol will be like.
I am Cindy, Hear me ROAR
Walked up to Helen who had a tray of Champagne, picked a flute as she said 'and you are', looking at her list, seeing the necklace, and saying at about 150 decibels, 'You are Cindy' Place goes quiet ' Oh this gorgeous woman is Cindy, she bought this necklace some time a go and it was a favourite of mine and she promised to wear it for me' So there I am Champagne flute in hand, desperately wanting to scull it and being the focus of attention for 20 woman who want to know why this necklace was so cute. So I decided I could make a sprint for the door in 2 inch heel boots and disappear. Or 'As soon as Helen showed it to me I loved it' in my totally none feminine voice, Held it out for people to see, smiling and then, we had a great time. She showed us new bags, jewellery etc etc. I bought some stuff. I went to the loo, in the queue, everyone chatting. 'Can you hold my glass while I have a pee, seemed to be the entrance statement to the stall."
I think everyone knew Helen's name, and for some reason everyone knew mine. Every time I tried to hide in the place of one, stand in a corner, (it always worked as a guy at parties everyone would ignore me) people would come over, "Hi, I'm XXX,' I forgot everyone's name but we had great chats, I think I sold more jewellery for Helen than her assistant, whose name I also forgot. "Cindy, What does this look like on me? Your necklace makes a big statement and I've never thought of that before, so does this work? "
I came home. I'm in the after shock.
Goddess what a night.
I have no idea if I passed. I seriously doubt it. But I was definitely accepted.
I'll take that.
The biggest fear is the fear of failure.
I accepted me. So did a lot of other people.
I'm sort of proud, and I'm trembling
Cindy
