Amalina, it's good to be questioning. If you're making excuses, that's fine. It's also fine that you're even more confused after posting your thoughts. Stating your confusion is much better than keeping it bottled up. I didn't see your other post, haven't been active due to final exams, but I just want to let you know that you're okay.
I've repressed this for so long I don't know if I can ever be who I've known for a long time that I am. Me being transgender is the one thing I've never been more sure of, but I still find myself doubting, and being "emo" (I like emo music btw, that term's been taken through the ringer, but I know what you mean
). I just had my first appointment with a gender therapist last night to talk about all of this out loud. While it made me unbelievably happy after leaving her office... it raised even more questions and made me more confused once everything settled down. The problems we deal with in ourselves and the hardest problems possible, especially after so many years of doubting and wondering.
It's okay to question, doubt, and be confused... and to express it! Everything we say from day to day isn't a commitment. Wherever you are in your life and wherever you're going will be left to time. Don't get discouraged, we love to help. Keep posting! This isn't something you figure out in a week!
( I like the new username by the way! )
