Why is it easier to hide myself away and be miserable?

[emoboi]

I can't seem to find any worth or redeeming qualities in myself. It's like I've stuffed all my emotions into a tiny, tiny box and I can't get them out. I don't think I want to be miserable but I mean it's all I've ever really known. I have to change a lot about my personality but it is a daunting task.

[Cindy]

Because accepting yourself takes effort.

Sit down with a big piece of paper. Draw a line down the middle. On one side title it, 'the things I like about being emoboi', title the other side 'what the girl frame I was born into likes about itself (I hope that isn't offensive).'
Start writing, it doesn't have to be all at once. it is a project. You need to find where you are. Be totally truthful. You may be surprised where you come from. When we are depressed and buried in our problems we cannot see the detail of our life.

Remember you are you. You are you as a guy, you don't have to conform to anything. You are you.

I can assure you I have never met another woman like me .

Take control. I know that sounds patronizing but it isn't, what makes YOU happy, do it.

We have to find our paths and we then have to walk them.

Remember you are not alone.

Cindy

[Kreuzfidel]

Cindy has beautiful advice as always.  You're not alone, mate.  I hermited myself away for ten years with no job and essentially zero contact with the outside world because the outside world was where I felt I could never belong.  But forcing myself to go out and finally transition socially has proven to me that I am capable, brave and yes, people really do like me and see me as the man I am.  The more you take it upon yourself to do things that are hard or unpleasant, the more proud of yourself you will be.  I still dread socialising until I get there and afterwards I feel so much more confident.  Small steps, mate.  You can do it and you are worth it.

[Felix]

Emoboi, I did that for a few years once. It's the path of least resistance when things are bad. You should hang around and talk to us on this site. This is a good place.

[Lacey Lynne]

Cindy has beautiful advice as always.  You're not alone, mate.  I hermited myself away for ten years with no job and essentially zero contact with the outside world because the outside world was where I felt I could never belong.  But forcing myself to go out and finally transition socially has proven to me that I am capable, brave and yes, people really do like me and see me as the man I am.  The more you take it upon yourself to do things that are hard or unpleasant, the more proud of yourself you will be.  I still dread socialising until I get there and afterwards I feel so much more confident.  Small steps, mate.  You can do it and you are worth it.

Kreuzfidel:

Bro, we're all SOOO proud of you.  Way to rock your own world!  By the way, I'm just now learning to do what you say above, and I'm much older than you.   You're an excellent example, man.   Thanks for just being you.

Felix:

Yes, this is a good place to be.   You are respected and liked very much here, man.  I've been lurking for a while, and I can see that this is so.   Keep the faith!

Cindy:

Simply a fantastic idea you gave Emoboi and ALL of us.  Heck, I'm gonna do that myself.   I'm now 2 years and 1 month into HRT (my avatar picture is more than a year old now), and I'm STILL cloistering myself away and having doubts.  Well, no more.   Time to just step out like you say.  As ever, thanks for your very wise and truly caring advice to all of us.

Peace       Lacey