Quote from: apple pie on December 23, 2011, 07:58:40 PM
Indeed it does take time, but not only that. It also takes effort!
I'm getting the impression that you seem to believe that your body will feminize because you are willing it to do so. NO IT ISN'T!! That's pure fantasy. Pull yourself away from it!
You really need to go and see a therapist and get yourself on some hormones while you are still not too old, before your body masculinizes further—that's what it's going to do, not feminize! You DON'T want that to happen.
And I'm quite worried, too, that you seem to have subscribed to a twisted, stereotypical image of being female. Being a girl is NOT about liking pink, wearing skirts and dresses, having a handbag, being into cosmetics, having boobs, being a cheerleader... and all those things. That's not what real girls are like!! You really have to snap out of your girl fantasy...
I understand that again these are harsh words, and I feel that you really don't want to consider such unpleasant words and would rather ignore them. But it's because we'd rather see you become a real girl, and not a guy trying to be female, a few years down the road 
^ This!
~~BebeLyss~~
I got warning bells when you posted "Think like a girl and your hair will grow as a girl" when someone needed help with their receding hairline.
I am totally into positive thinking, but positive thinking does not change the physiological appearance of anyone to such a vast degree.
I went from this:
to this:
Because I worked my butt off. I lost weight, I ran, I swam, I saw a therapist, I went on HRT, I eased into my transition. I didn't one day decide, "I look like a girl because I will it to be so." I knew it was going to be much harder than that.
I love headbands just as much as you do. Hell, I have about 23 of em and every color to match my outfits. However, I never worn them until my hair required them to be worn. If I didn't wear a headband or pins, my bangs would cover my entire face and I also made sure I was in the correct presentation to get away with wearing headbands.
I also love skirts as you do. However, my skirts do not define my gender. The skirts are simply part of my wardrobe and it's a style that I personally love. At the same time, I can wear jeans too and feel feminine. A friend of mine said "you wear a lot of skirts" and I replied, "well, if you lived your whole life where you couldn't wear skirts, you tend to make up for it." She replied, "very true." She is one of the few who knows I am transgender. I also wear skirts a lot because where I live and work, they seem to be the style right now. I would be safe to say that 90% of the girls where I work at Barnes and Noble wears skirts. If I worked at a place where jeans were common, I would probably wear jeans more.
Also, the video of you being so excited when you listed about 40 cosmetic stores you visited in one visit concerned me too. Please do not take this the wrong way, but you were talking just like my 8 year old daughter talks. I understand when you first start to explore your femininity, you are excited about things like this but trust me, when you live full time, going out and spending money on makeup is a pain the ass. It's about as exciting for me as buying fishsticks now.
As everyone is saying, you need to see a therapist about this. We all have and we all have been there. HRT is also a plus because it helps to get you started on looking how you feel. Putting a little pink bow in your hair now will confuse many people....no matter how sensitive they are or how supportive they are with transgender people because right now, your appearance looks like a guy wearing frilly bows in the hair. Your parents do have a point where they say "you're a man." You have to prove to them you are not and those steps are to take your own initiative to not just buy girly things or make girly videos but by doing the responsible thing and start the transition with a gender therapist as a good first start.
This is just me and this was my own journey, but I never made videos of me doing ultra girly things while presenting male and then expected people to refer to me with the feminine pronouns. Hell, I didn't come out to my mother until I had fully transition and then said "look at my facebook if you want to meet your new daughter." Words here cannot describe how advantageous that was. She went to my facebook and realized this was not some fantasy. She was staring at her daughter in those pics and it made a world of difference for her to ease into the acceptance phase.
Be encouraged with these posts. We state these things because we want to see you succeed. Willing it to be so does not make someone a female. You may be a female on the inside but you must be proactive and work, work, work, to present yourself on the outside as to how you feel on the inside.
