My love life has become non-existent since I began transitioning. It is becoming a problem, I don't quite know what to do at the moment.
My university friends are still coming to terms with my change. For various reasons that I don't understand we don't get along well enough to go out together. So I can't ask them to go with me to a night club.
My non-university friends are all gay or lesbian. What used to be cool, since I was always into guys. Last time I went with them to a gay club though, I had all the dykes hitting on me. So like, I can't go to a gay bar and expect the gay guys to hit on me, as it used to happen. So, though it is fun to go out like that, it is out of the equation. Meeting guys before transitioning was easier.
There are a few other girls I meet at work who were nice and I have been hopping to go somewhere with them, at least to start going into straight clubs. Anyway we have been postponing it because we seen to always be busy working. I'm a med student and they are nurses, so we work a lot. Being nearly done with graduation studies ins't exactly the situation best suited for a party life, but I am trying to talk with people and hang, at least to go out now and then and chill.
In addition, having a male ID and male genitals makes me fairly insecure about dating. I am afraid that if I meet someone, and he suddenly finds out, he freaks out. The chances of someone telling him in the town I attend university at are fairly big as well.
it seens I am stumped. I don't know if I am trapping myself with reasons that really are senseless, but I have the feeling it is too early in my transition to go around dating, other things considered though: I do feel lonely, and I have been passing. They are opposite feelings, and really, I wish I could do something about it.
