My love life has become non-existent since I began transitioning. It is becoming a problem, I don't quite know what to do at the moment.

My university friends are still coming to terms with my change. For various reasons that I don't understand we don't get along well enough to go out together. So I can't ask them to go with me to a night club.

My non-university friends are all gay or lesbian. What used to be cool, since I was always into guys. Last time I went with them to a gay club though, I had all the dykes hitting on me. So like, I can't go to a gay bar and expect the gay guys to hit on me, as it used to happen. So, though it is fun to go out like that, it is out of the equation. Meeting guys before transitioning was easier.

There are a few other girls I meet at work who were nice and I have been hopping to go somewhere with them, at least to start going into straight clubs. Anyway  we have been postponing it because we seen to always be busy working. I'm a med student and they are nurses, so we work a lot. Being nearly done with graduation studies ins't exactly the situation best suited for a party life, but I am trying to talk with people and hang, at least to go out now and then and chill.

In addition, having a male ID and male genitals makes me fairly insecure about dating. I am afraid that if I meet someone, and he suddenly finds out, he freaks out. The chances of someone telling him in the town I attend university at are fairly big as well.

it seens I am stumped. I don't know if I am trapping myself with reasons that really are senseless, but I have the feeling it is too early in my transition to go around dating, other things considered though: I do feel lonely, and I have been passing. They are opposite feelings, and really, I wish I could do something about it.

Trust me, I know what you mean. Really the only difference is that I'm lesbian. I also was in a long term relationship, and that was right after high school. So, I never really did the early 20's dating...thingy. So, what do I do? Girls who like girls, usually aren't into what I have, almost be definition. And even if I could make myself straight, I would NO idea what do to with a guy...in all implications.

So...be happy you aren't alone in this endeavor? Yay?

Anyone know how to make yourself Asexual? That seems to be the best route.

Lol Dresden

I suppose I would feel better if we could hang and share a bottle of whisk/whine/beer/vodka or anything alcoholic regarding it. I guess the perspective is to be single until after SRS and FFS.

I know I need FFS to pass well in a "at home" environment and that seens necessary for a relationship as well. One thing is passing when you have prepared yourself.. another is passing just after waking up.

I feel your pain, Dresden. As a (very early) trans lesbian, dating seems like a no-go. I suppose bi girls would be an option, perhaps the only option, other pan/omnisexuals. And maybe I'm the only one but I'd prefer to be able to safely pass before I'd even consider dating.

So, no solutions, eh? I dunno about you, Bird, but I really don't want to be single until GRS. I don't even know if I will ever get it, either. If I had to save up 20k, I'd rather use that money for my daughter's education.

All I know, is that I want to stop crying over my ex 3-5 a week and more forward. I don't need anything serious, but it would be nice to feel wanted.

I have had virtually no success on lesbian dating sites.  I get a few emails, then they vanish.  It is supposed to be the way to go, but I am not going to renew the few short-term memberships I have taken out.  I didn't outlay a great deal as I had a feeling it was possibly going to prove fruitless.

I have joined a local GLBTIQ support group, and will just spend the time until SRS becoming part of the community.  Hopefully that will give people a chance to get to know me as a person without any expectations of dating, in a friends first type scenario.  They may have friends who are looking for a relationship, so that should widen the dating pool eventually.   If I am getting involved with the running of events that should help break down any barriers as well.  I am taking the long view as I want a relationship that is not disfunctional this time.

Karen.

Darned if I know. I think about dating a lot and have been asked out a number of times, occasionally they are rather persistent, but I'm adamant about not dating until I'm completely done with transition and gone from the area I live in now. The kind of guy I'd like to be with likely wouldn't want to be with me in my current state and even if someone would be willing to give it a shot, I don't think I want to put them through having to deal with the way some of the locals run their mouths and ridicule anyone who shows an interest in me.

Its a good thing I don't have too much of a libido or I imagine it would be quite difficult.

Honestly, I think I got MORE guys hitting on me AFTER I started transitioning, lol. specifically, once I finally shed all those wigs.

Thank god in California, you don't need to get SRS to get your license changed to F.

Yeah, I know your fear and understand you perfectly.

What are your experiences on going out alone?