Hello everyone my name is Malachite (at least in the future probably). I am a 19 year old silent FtM pre op pre T pre everything. I am still currently living as a female due to my living situation of still being dependant on my mom. I live in a part of S.C. where there is still a lot of hate crime and violence towards LBGT people and even minorities so for safety reasons I am also still living as a female. Not only do I have to tackle my gender dysphoria but I have to tackle being obese which I will probably go more into in another post. I found this site after asking many FtM questions on Google.
I am in college to earn an associates degree in criminal justice. Currently I am pretty sheltered. I never had a job, don't have a license and a car or a social life yet but I do plan to "grow up" before I graduate. I want to be able to move up North to a trans-friendly city and be financially stable and independent enough to transition. It all seems scary though to be honest but I think that's normal for some people my age. For now I am just taking all of this extra free time I have to explore who I am as a man and what I want for my life.
As far as my hobbies and interests go well, I like to play video games, watch anime occasionally (hence the name Malachite), and surf the web. I would love to get into MMA training but I don't have money for a gym or a way to get there so I'm looking into good free standing punching bags if I can make room for one. Cosplay is also another interest I would love to get into when I can afford it.
If there are any life lessons I am currently learning so far, I will have to eventually do what is best for ME. I can respect intelligent opinions but in the end, I cannot please everyone. I have to do what I feel is right to me because at the end of the day when I rest my head on my pillow, I am the one who is carrying and dealing with my burdens and internal pain, not others. I also keep telling myself that it will get better. If I didn't think it would get better otherwise, then I would not be here right now. I'm happy knowing that I don't have to stay like this forever and despite my current situation and unforseen future, I am SO excited about transitioning. For me, it is a matter of when not if.
I'm really sorry if that I sort of got off topic and made the introduction long but that's is just a little bit about me. I look foward to meeting my fellow brothers and sisters on this site!
