@Felix, have I had any other loves? Heck no!! This is my first real one lol. Other than a crush I had in middle school/high school (but that was a small childhood crush, nothing like the way I feel for this girl). Anyways, this girl, if you met her, you'd think she's extremely supportive (she's not the same girl I was talking to about my trans feelings, that was a different girl). Now... my dad keeps telling me she's using me as a "cash cow" and I HATE to think that. They are quite low on money, she even said they can't afford Christmas (I still love her regardless) she does charge a good amount for her lessons. My dad used to pay for them but now I do so it doesn't really bother me. She's sweet, beautiful, has the most amazing voice, I could listen to her singing all day. I feel like waiting a week for each lesson feels like a year. I can't help but wish to be more in her life.
A week ago we had a frustrating lesson. She knew I didn't like myself, and she told me that I had to in order to truly open up to singing. Then she told me that "I'm an awesome person", and that "she likes me" so I don't know if she meant as a friend or more than that, but I know she already has a girlfriend. Anyways, I felt my heart pounding when she said that because I wanted it to mean "more than a friend". Do you think it meant that? I don't think she's hurting me. I fail to see how she's hurting me (don't take offense to that, I honestly don't see how she is). From what I'm getting from this, she likes me, but also likes her girlfriend too, and obviously she can't be with me right now because she's with her. That's what one of my friends told me what they think is happening anyways. But I don't want to get my hopes up...
