13 Going on 30

[sysm29]

This movie was on tonight.  It reminded me of how I feel, like a 13 year old girl trapped in the body of a 26 year old man.  I might as well be 30.  I'll get there soon enough. 

Going on HRT is like being in puberty.  Why not be 13?  I never got to be a teenage girl and I'm not sure I can become a woman without going through all of that.  If the general population has to go through all of that how can transgender women be expected to just easily and quickly become a woman?  Some people make it sound like boom, they just tossed on a wig or grew out their hair, put on makeup, and instantly were different people.  I don't think it's like that for everyone.  For many of us, we've just been languishing in male bodies for so long, attacked by this evil face-destroying hormone called Testosterone, and we're just stuck here.

I don't want to be a 30 year old woman.  I don't know how to be one anyway.

I wonder what I would have looked like.  I really do... I just have to know..

Hopefully in the next life we will be able to just be born into female bodies so we can know what its like to be a little girl.

This life sucks.

[KillBelle]

Yeah...I transitioned at 19, had my SRS at 21....things are great but still wish i could have been a girl in high school. Fact is, no matter how good we have it we will always want more. You are 26....you're transitioning, thats heckuvalot earlier than most people who do it in their 40s-50s. Be happy you are even able to transition hon, you are still young and many doors are still held open for you.

[A_Dresden_Doll]

Yeah...I transitioned at 19, had my SRS at 21....things are great but still wish i could have been a girl in high school. Fact is, no matter how good we have it we will always want more. You are 26....you're transitioning, thats heckuvalot earlier than most people who do it in their 40s-50s. Be happy you are even able to transition hon, you are still young and many doors are still held open for you.

This sums it up perfectly. We can always go, "If only I was x age instead of x age, my life would be better", but the truth is, we transition ONLY when we can transition, and not a moment sooner. For me, this is a little easier to deal with because of my daughter. If I transitioned in highschool, or even a few years earlier, she wouldn't be alive. And I had a choice to transition during the onset of puberty, or wait to have her...well, I'll let you guess.

[Keaira]

Everyone has regrets. But I look at the things I've done and seen and they would have been the same wether I was male or female. yes I'd love to have had transitioned as young as I could have. But then I would not have met my lovely wife and her 2 Daughters nor would I have a son, or even have gone though the experiences of raising a child from birth. I am happy to transition at 32. ^_^

[A]

The more you complain about something that sucks, the more it does, ya know? It doesn't do any good to repeatedly think about the same impossible dreams. I postponed transition for years because I was hoping to magically transfer my soul, and you can be assured that it did me no good whatsoever. I shut myself in and thought of suicide because I was hoping to be reincarnated, and you can be assured that it did me no good whatsoever.

To varying degrees, we were all stolen our childhoods, adolescence, physical appearance and so on, depending on the age of transition, by our condition. Some had compensations like children; some didn't. Those are all holes that were made in our lives, in our hearts, and the parts that were torn away can never be given back. But similarly to victims of incestuous abuse, rejection and violence, it's possible for us to get stronger and live on.

[kelly_aus]

This life sucks.

Life is what you make it.. If you say it sucks, it will..

Did we get short-changed? Probably, but I doubt I'd be the same warm, caring person that I am had my life been any different.

[Hannah]

To varying degrees, we were all stolen our childhoods, adolescence, physical appearance and so on, depending on the age of transition, by our condition. Some had compensations like children; some didn't. Those are all holes that were made in our lives, in our hearts, and the parts that were torn away can never be given back. But similarly to victims of incestuous abuse, rejection and violence, it's possible for us to get stronger and live on.

Heh, you pretty much summed up how I feel right now, I'm pretty down.  If only everyone else understood us the same way we do.

[cheergirlnicole]

omg I totally feel exactly the same! I appreciate people saying things like what they've said in this thread but like, I just CANNOT get past this. So I'm like, doing stuff to deal with it and living life as closely as I can to like, being the way I want to be!

One thing that has REALLY helped me soooo much is starting a teen tumblr! I just reblog lot's of awesome pics (mostly hipster teen girls) and it's sooo fun! Then like, other girls follow you and reblog your stuff, and it's a super fun way to stay in touch with what teen girls are doing and wearing! I <3 it, it's improved my life a LOT.

Also I totally shop in the juniors section too! I have a small frame so i guess that's like, lucky for me, BUT they have larger clothes too and I just dress however I want! It took me a realllly long time, but I really don't care what ppl think of me! If they think I look silly, who cares! If they are going to make fun or say mean things, well that sucks but oh well. Life is way too short to like, not live your dream!

Also I take private cheerleading classes at a dance studio b/c you usually have to be on a team to take a group class. It's so awesome! I've gotten good but like, even if I wasn't and felt totally awkward doing it, I'd still do it!

<3 to u! xoxo

[Virginia]

Jennifer Garner's portrayal of Jenna Rink brings me to tears every time I watch the romantic fantasy, 13 Going on 30. I chose to lock away my female self when I was 14. It took 2 years of therapy to accept that in 1970's apple pie America, it was the best decision I could have made, one I would make all over again. I like being a guy, I'm good at it and I lived 35+ years living that way. But looking back, it's hard to understand how something I know was right could hurt so badly. And I am in tears putting to words why, as the reality of living her dream settles in and Jenna's world starts crashing in around her, Billy Joel's Vienna playing in the background tears at my heart like a knife:

Slow down, you crazy child
you're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart, tell me
Why are you still so afraid?

Too bad but it's the life you lead
you're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong, you know
You can't always see when you're right. you're right

And you know that when the truth is told
that you can get what you want or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get half through
Why don't you realize,. Vienna waits for you

Like Jenna, I woke to the reality that I was living my dream- and what I had given up to get it. And I realized nothing in the world is worth the price of our very selves. I had to find some way, any way to bring who I am back into my life. And not only did I not lose everything I had wanted, my life became happier than my wildest dreams.

[Amazon D]

you can't always get what you want... but if you try sometime.. you just might find... you get what you need .. ohhh yeaaa

be cool       enjoy what you have           and know you have it better than billions who can't even get online       let alone transition or get HRT etc etc


don't whine like a spoiled lil 13 yr old girl 

PS: I am happy for you transitioning younger  so you be happy for the others to transition younger etc etc etc

[Bishounen]

Bah- There are loads of childish ->-bleeped-<-s around, and in some places such as Japan, it is considered norm that MTF's regardless of age, should dress as Schoolgirls and look as girlish and "innocent" as possible.


See? 

Japanese guyz become gorgeous girls#068

[Butterflyhugs]

I'm currently living out my missed teenage years--complete with hickies 

[Amazon D]

SOME OF MY WRTINGS IN THE PAST ABOUT SEXUALITY......

.............It takes a girl to be able to grow into a womyn. .....

.... Nothing else can become a womyn.....................

I just wanted to report on the developement of my SRS / GRS that i had 4 years ago dec 8th 1998 with DR Toby Meltzer. I have stayed celibate and a virgin. I have allowed myself to find my inner child / little girl before using my neovagina. During this time my mental sex has developed into something which is wonderfully healthy. I when thinking of love have developed a wonderful natural lubrication with the mental sex chain of command system. Here the mind thinking of love stimulates the hypothalamus which stimulates the pituitary to create oxytosin which stimulates the adrenal cortex to produce coitercoisteroids which causes my cowpers gland to secrete a lot of clear sticky fluid...........................

Now i know this is a touchy subject for sharing but i think it is important to understand this function. Many jump from an adult male body running on testosterone to one running on estrogen and into adult female and never allow themselves a chance to develop their little girl / inner child. The little girl needs time to grow and mature. Little girls don't have sex and this is why i didn't as i wanted to experience as much of the little girl as i could before being tempted to just have sexual relationships...................

Little girls grow into big girls / women. I think it is very important to find that little girl and let her grow. Many girl are teases and do dress to impress and tease and attract. This is an important part of transitioning. Just getting SRS / GRS and testing out the new neovagina like a new toy is not giving oneself the time to grow. It causes many to get hardened over misunderstood relationships due to their new equipment / new understanding of being the woman they are. Eating right and keeping a low body fat content is also very important as i have done research to find that animals that are carrying lowered amounts of body fat tend to be healthier when developing their adrenals thus their sexuality. This is important as the body needs to be healthy to have all the right body functions to help when the time comes for a person to have a healthy sex life..........................

Many times touching too quickly another person makes a person mentally dependent on touch as a means of stimulation for their sexuality. However, being a tease and growing your mental sexuality allows for a healthy production of the adrenals and the chain of command which helps to produce this natural wetness from the cowpers gland...........................

I know many so called genetic women get dry over time after their relationships go past the honeymoon stage and sex becomes a choir and not a mental joy but just a physical experience.........................

I am open to hearing from others about the developement of their mental sexuality. Please respond in detail. thanks and bye ........

............. MY REASONING AND INSPIRATION DUE TO MY HEART FELT FEELINGS.............
............. http://www.ren.org/Bushong.html
.......................

A QUOTE FROM DR BUSHONG:

"After years or decades of living, working and building within their male persona, it is often too "expensive" to give up the life, perks, family, etc., one has built up--in order to go back to basics and have an emotionally 12 year old girl grow up--and live in a once male 40+ year old body."