One day, there was a little boy named Dennis. He was born pretty much like the other boys. Aside from a mild Autism Disorder, he always seemed normal on the surface. However, deep-down inside, he knew something didn't feel quite right. He couldn't put his finger on what was wrong, and he was so young that he didn't really care to evaluate what exactly it was that he felt a lack of. All he knew was that at times when school activities and field trips seperated boys from girls, he felt a multitude worse. Dennis had his first girlfriend at age 5, and she was smart, pretty and nice. Unfortunately, she had to relocate and he never saw her again. That left a hole in Dennis's heart that he would try to fill throughout his childhood and teen years.
Around age 10, Dennis liked wearing really big T-shirts around the house. For some reason, it made him feel free. During his school years, Dennis was shy and introvert, but secretly wanted to have a girlfriend so that he could be "complete". Although he came across many secret crushes, close friends and even a few girlfriends, he didn't seem to have the ability to be their "Mr. Right". Dennis didn't feel adequate enough to satisfy their emotional needs like other boys his age. So relationships were "puppy love" at best. Dennis felt as if his Autism was holding him back socially. He seemed alright most of the time, but he had a few violent arguments with his family which seemed to leave small, but noticeable emotional scars. Maybe it's just part of being a teenager, or a symptom of Autism? Or maybe it's something else that he is not knowledgeable of. He felt as if he would've had a better, more outgoing normal life if he had not been born with this Autism Disorder. As the years went by, Dennis felt ok on the surface, but inside of him, he knew something didn't fit, especially as puberty progressed. He felt as if something about his body image and features were repulsive or misshapen. He felt his body was not functioning "correctly", even though he knew it was. However, he didn't really fully understand, the clear-cut concept of what was going on.
Around his late teens, Dennis liked to wear his hair long and liked snug shirts and pants. He never really like big or baggy clothing of any kind. Dennis figured it was just his "style". This kept him feeling "right" for a while, but as time went by, he began to realize that this "style" was not fully satisfying anymore. He felt the same hole in his heart. A vague feeling of lack, incompleteness or dislike of his body and the way it was. Was this just a phase, or was Dennis's "style" stemming from an issue much more complex and serious?
As he approached age 20, Dennis felt that he would never fill this immense void in his heart. He was depressed and suicidal. He did hope to have a girlfriend oneday to complete him, as he felt that he was unattractive and had to get "right" in some way. Dennis felt vaguely connected and accepted in the company of women and female friends, but he felt immensely inappropriate in a sexual or physical sense, almost as if he was living a lie and just now starting to realize it. After much studying, recollection and soul-searching, Dennis noticed a pattern. Certain things throughout Dennis's childhood and teen years started to click. Red flags were going off. Dennis felt a pull back then during times that topics related to his potential issue came up. Unfortunately, the thought of family and friends judging him kept him indecisive. He felt that handling this issue may be too turbulent for those around him. However, the desire to take action was much stronger than the decision to not. There were times when Dennis felt peaceful, accepted, and on even keel with everyone. With careful recollection, soul-searching and intuitive realization, Dennis now realized that he was not Dennis at all, but infact, she was Denise.
All this time, Denise looked for girlfriends to complete "him" and fill the void in "his" heart. However, she never looked inside her heart to find herself until now, realizing that she was complete all along. Denise didn't want to live as "Dennis", because her identity and core being is infact, female. Maybe a biochemical anomaly during pregnancy, or a mistake in God's factory? All Denise knew was that everything happens for a reason. Denise knew from research that hormonal therapy and surgery could correct the anatomical gender incongruity that she suffered. Even with a lack of full biological sex function due to today's medical limitations, she is happy with getting the hormone therapy and surgery to make her body shape and anatomical features female, thus treating this disorder. Her changes are sending relationship earthquakes and shockwaves through her family, friends and loved ones, and she sometimes get an uncomfortable taste of this abrupt change herself, but Denise will never forget nor regret finding herself, and becoming "whole". She is more joyful and happy with her body changes than she could ever imagine. Although this change will be quite a rollercoaster ride, life will get smoother as time heals, and everything will even out for her and her loved ones in due time.
