FFS and Anxiety Attacks

[Skyanne]

I'm having FFS with Mr Keith Altman in the UK in less than two weeks, based on discussions with him and examples of previous surgeries he's shown me I'm really confident of his work. The only thing I'm not confident of is myself as I suffer from anxiety attacks, particularily when I feel trapped.

I'm going to be in hospital for a couple of days at least, and despite some reassurances that I'll probably be too worn out and high on drugs to feel panicy, I wouldn't mind some reassurances (or suggestions on how to help my anxiety) on what the recovery is really like from people who have experienced it. Is it going to be hard to cope with for someone with anxiety attacks or is it really more just an issue of pain and soreness (which I can totally deal with)?

[Maja.V]

If possible, it would be good to bring someone close to you, or who you know at least, with you for comfort and company, I think.

[atheuona]

This is just my experience, I'm sure others with anxiety have had no problems whatsoever.

During the first week of ffs recovery my anxiety got a lot worse.  I had two panicky/fainting episodes in the shower on day 4 and 6 and one when my surgeon came to change the dressing on day 2.  I also had a major panic attack on the first night when I was doped up to my eyeballs on painkillers.  I think for me the painkillers and stuff made matters worse, I started panicking because I couldn't think straight and didn't really know where I was or what was going on.  I also had numerous other small anxiety attacks, but not to the point where I couldn't breathe.  My partner said that valium really helped to calm me down, but after taking a tablet and waking up but not being able to move (really really scary!) I decided that valium and I didn't really agree with each other.

Having my mum, sister, aunt and girlfriend with me helped a lot, I had one of them sitting with me almost constantly from when I came out of surgery till about day 6.  My sister also gave me a teddy bear to cuddle, it seems kinda childish but being able to hold on to something also helped keep me calm.

[Skyanne]

This is just my experience, I'm sure others with anxiety have had no problems whatsoever.

During the first week of ffs recovery my anxiety got a lot worse.  I had two panicky/fainting episodes in the shower on day 4 and 6 and one when my surgeon came to change the dressing on day 2.  I also had a major panic attack on the first night when I was doped up to my eyeballs on painkillers.  I think for me the painkillers and stuff made matters worse, I started panicking because I couldn't think straight and didn't really know where I was or what was going on.  I also had numerous other small anxiety attacks, but not to the point where I couldn't breathe.  My partner said that valium really helped to calm me down, but after taking a tablet and waking up but not being able to move (really really scary!) I decided that valium and I didn't really agree with each other.

Having my mum, sister, aunt and girlfriend with me helped a lot, I had one of them sitting with me almost constantly from when I came out of surgery till about day 6.  My sister also gave me a teddy bear to cuddle, it seems kinda childish but being able to hold on to something also helped keep me calm.

Thanks for your response, that's not quite what I was hoping to hear, but it does sound managable. Hopefully if the feeling of being doped up is like being drunk it'll actually make me feel calmer!  I'm also definitely gonna take something to hold onto.

[Jeneva]

I also have anxiety issues and do take daily antidepressants for it as well as the occasional *-pam (clonazapam in my case).

I just had FFS a week or so after atheuona with the same Dr.  He did prescribe for me diazepam (valium) to be taken twice daily so I left my clonazapam at home.  Apart for being too excited the night after his consult I only had one real attack.  When I had the fat grafts injected later in the week (he did too much else to have time to do it while I was under), I did have a major attack, but it was because of the pain of those injections.  The normal surgery didn't really cause that much anxiety for me.

So it is definitely a YMMV type scenario.  I do suspect most FFS Drs will prescribe some sort of pam though just to make sure patients don't damage the work they have done.

Atheuona sorry that the diazepam didn't agree with you.  Have you ever tried any of the rest of that class of drugs (Benzodiazepine's usually end in pam and there are a LOT of other options).  They are NOT something you want to start taking regularly, but for some people they are fairly quick to stop an attack.  Some people just don't like how they make them feel and you may be one of them, but to me it is more of a sense of disassociation like I am isolated and protected from everything and just driving my body like a shell.  As long as you use them sparingly then it can be a good way to fight anxiety.

[atheuona]

Thanks for your response, that's not quite what I was hoping to hear, but it does sound managable. Hopefully if the feeling of being doped up is like being drunk it'll actually make me feel calmer!  I'm also definitely gonna take something to hold onto.

If it helps, after I had ffs and started going fulltime the whole anxiety/panic attacks have almost completely gone.  Things that used to stress me out and send me into a quivering ball of panic now seem to hardly touch me.

I just had FFS a week or so after atheuona with the same Dr.  He did prescribe for me diazepam (valium) to be taken twice daily so I left my clonazapam at home.  Apart for being too excited the night after his consult I only had one real attack.  When I had the fat grafts injected later in the week (he did too much else to have time to do it while I was under), I did have a major attack, but it was because of the pain of those injections.  The normal surgery didn't really cause that much anxiety for me.

I guess you'd be the person Dr Z was constantly confusing me with He was always thinking I was on clonazapam and kept saying "oh sorry, I've got you confused with another patient" when I told him I wasn't on any -pam's

[Jeneva]

If it helps, after I had ffs and started going fulltime the whole anxiety/panic attacks have almost completely gone.  Things that used to stress me out and send me into a quivering ball of panic now seem to hardly touch me.

YES!  Going full time definitely helps.  Pre FFS once I was out and the initial "OMG" phase was over I found that I was so much more resistant.  In the 2 months BEFORE FFS I took only 1 clonazapam and that was for my wife's family's Thanksgiving dinner where I was constantly and intentionally misnamed and misgendered.  At least I had a silver lining to that cloud since in the fallout they finally realized that it also hurt their daughter when they hurt me.  Now they avoid gendering or naming if possible, but at least when they do they are correct.

I think of it this way.  Keeping a secret that big and constantly monitoring your actions to make sure you don't slip has a HUGE mental cost and greatly reduces the amount of "extra" mental strength you have to shake things off. 

Unfortunately the pain from certain actions after FFS are also a huge mental cost and they can be too much sometimes.  Don't be afraid to talk any calming medicine your doctor prescribes.

[Stephe]

I'm going to be in hospital for a couple of days at least, and despite some reassurances that I'll probably be too worn out and high on drugs to feel panicy, I wouldn't mind some reassurances (or suggestions on how to help my anxiety) on what the recovery is really like from people who have experienced it. Is it going to be hard to cope with for someone with anxiety attacks or is it really more just an issue of pain and soreness (which I can totally deal with)?

One VERY common reaction when recovering is the "OMG WTF have I done!!" feeling. It hit me 2nd day post op and I'm glad I was told this is a normal response. Many people have this feeling but then later you realize you have done something positive for yourself. Just be ready for this wave of negativity to roll in.

[Skyanne]

Thanks for all the advice, this is really helping with my nerves.

[Butterflyhugs]

Another piece of advice I can add is to be patient during the healing process. I remember at about 1 month post-op, I started getting really depressed thinking that the results were terrible and started to regret the whole thing because of it. Then like 2 weeks later the swelling started to go down at an exponential rate, and shortly after that a random stranger called me beautiful for the first time 

[helen2010]

the first 24/48 hrs were pretty uncomfortable;  my head felt like it had been hit by a truck;  you are on meds and you don't think clearly;  encased in bandages and lips,nose, eyes etc swollen and packed left me feeling pretty trapped - however one valium later and it was good  No further problems   Yes there were days early on when I didn't recognise myself in the mirror and it felt like the face of a stranger but the feedback from friends, decreased swelling and growing delight as the stitches dissolve/come out and the final features settle down continue to build.   15 mths on from the final procedures - it is the best thing I have ever done and more than worth the pre op angst and research, and post op discomfort and anxiety .. all of which are a small inconvenience in the overall scheme of things

[greenjessica]

Are meds for anxiety OK to take after surgery?

[Skyanne]

According to my surgeon and the nurses, yes. They're even giving me some valium to help, they're a really lovely, helpful bunch!

[Jeneva]

Yes they are definitely OK if you already have a prescription and further I think most FFS doctors actually DO prescribe them anyway.

[Skyanne]

Just to say I've had the surgery now and am recovering nicely. Thank you all for you tips, suggestions and shared experiences. It was a bit frightening, but not all that bad and definitely well worth doing!

[JenJen2011]

Yay! Congrats! I wish you a painless and quick recovery.

[Jeneva]

Great news.  Hope your healing is fast and you get the results you desired.

[Sampathique]

Hi and thanks to everyone for posting on this topic - If only Id read it two months ago! I started to have anxiety attacks and high blood pressure just two weeks before my FFS scheduled with Dr Bart Van de Ven. I asked him for a postponement because Id never had attacks anything like this in my whole life and it scared the hell out of me. My blood pressure rocketed and on two occasions I couldnt walk or breath properly and had to call an ambulance. Everyone assured me at the hospital that it was just anxiety in view of what I was abt to go through. The surgeon said I couldnt postpone so I tried to get myself better with counselling and meds. Within a week I was ready to carry on but Dr Bart had found a new patient for my surgery date. I felt gutted and humiliated as Id made such a huge commitment to this surgeon. We rescheduled surgery on the basis for four months later on the condition that Id pay for the balance owing (abt half the cost) almost straight away. THey gave me a week to pay but within four/five days Dr Bart and his partner Dr De Francq had changed their mind again and said that due to my character they were cancelling my surgery again. I want to stress that at no point when my anxiety attacks started did they assure me as doctors that medication was available for this and that such symptoms were in fact normal in the circumstances. My counsellor, who supports trans men and women frequently, in fact was the one who assured me that this was normal and that medications were available from the anaesthetist in the event that patients get hyper and stressed out immediately before surgery. Dr Bart refunded the money I paid less 500 Euros although he said before going on holiday for two weeks that he'd refund ALL the money which I asked him to as he was the one who'd cancelled my surgery. For the reasons of medical and business ethics therefore, I wouldnt recommend that anyone go to Dr Van de Ven, although I understand him to be an excellent FFS surgeon.