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Side effects???

Started by Tori32, February 09, 2012, 12:37:11 PM

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Tori32

I am considering hrt and have been researching the effects from it. I have seen conflicting information regarding the effects on sexual performance. Some sites say that you can still have penetrative sex and orgasm only without sperm since it makes you sterile. Others say that you cannot get/keep an erection at all much less orgasm. This is probably a question for a dr but I don't have one yet. So...if anyone can shed some light on the subject please do. This is big factor in my decision. Either way I am still considering hrt, but, this has huge implications in how my life will be after starting hrt....especially since I'm married...
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Sarah Louise

The combination of estrogen and antiandrogens will most likely do exactly what they are taken for, grow breasts and kill erections.  If your not prepared for those results, don't try it.
Nameless here for evermore!;  Merely this, and nothing more;
Tis the wind and nothing more!;  Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore!!"
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Tori32

I still want to be able to satisfy my wife. She is having a hard time with this already and that may make things worse. Not to sound like a pervert, but the thought of never having another orgasm is disappointing.  ???
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Sarah Louise

Orgasim, yes, erections maybe to doubtful over time.
Nameless here for evermore!;  Merely this, and nothing more;
Tis the wind and nothing more!;  Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore!!"
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Dale

You have to give this alot more thought
Today is the first day of the rest of your life
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Tori32

Yes I do... I have only been considering it for a few weeks. This is one of many thing I need to discuss with a therapist. I'm just trying to get all the info I can so I don't have so many questions floating around in my head. I didn't think it would be so complicated although I don't know how I thought it would be simple either. Thanks for the input!  :D
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Beth Andrea

Orgasms can be achieved without penetration. Fingers, tongue, heel of hand, etc can all be used to good effect.

Of course, there's always Viagra (or so I'm told).
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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Tori32

This is true  :D but... I don't think she would be that understanding. That could be enough for her to leave... I on the other hand would be ok since I also enjoy "being the woman" in the bedroom. Idk that's a conversation we will have one day, just not now. I have been telling her things slowly, giving her time to understand how I'm changing one piece at a time. If I go all out and tell her everything she will probably leave. It took a month for her to finally register the difference between gender identity and sexual preference. She still thinks I'm just gay and can't admit it....anyway I got a little off subject there...
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Jeneva

Quote from: Tori32 on February 09, 2012, 03:43:29 PM
This is true  :D but... I don't think she would be that understanding. That could be enough for her to leave... I on the other hand would be ok since I also enjoy "being the woman" in the bedroom. Idk that's a conversation we will have one day, just not now. I have been telling her things slowly, giving her time to understand how I'm changing one piece at a time. If I go all out and tell her everything she will probably leave. It took a month for her to finally register the difference between gender identity and sexual preference. She still thinks I'm just gay and can't admit it....anyway I got a little off subject there...
I've tried to resist replying because I understand what you are saying, but it also makes me very uncomfortable.  Perhaps I am just reading it the wrong way though.

It is a great idea to move slowly with the actions in transition to give her time to become comfortable with the idea.  At the same time, it isn't really fair to hold back information.  A key part of any relationship is trust.  That means you need to be upfront about any future or potential goals.  Saying that together we can try to walk down this path and see if I need to go all the way to the end is one thing, but how can she come to understand and accept each stage if she doesn't know it is coming?

Holding back stage X actions is definitely a good path so she can become used to stage X-1 and the concept of stage X, but the idea of holding back a discussion about stage X sounds too much like a secret.  And a secret to me is a major relationship killer.

Another question you need to decided is are you gay (in the general sense)?  Specifically are you a lesbian?  Or are you at least bisexual.  If you are straight then you need to tell her right now because YOU aren't going to be happy long term.
Blessed Be!

Jeneva Caroline Samples
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Shantel

I'm married and have been at this for a long time. Female hormones by themselves over a long duration will shrink your prostate as well as your testicles, kill your libido and practically flatline the opportunity to experience a climax without a long workout. Anti-andogens are always taken in conjunction to block the effects of testosterone. Some people like myself dispense with the anti-andogens and have an orchiectomy [surgical castration]. The penis will atrophy until you look like one of those little cherubs in the Sistine Chapel. Muscles will also atrophy accompanied by some severe hamstring and groin muscle cramps. Your body will feminize as you get a layer of fatty tissue under your skin which makes you suddenly very soft to the touch. Breast buds develop, the eventual size something less than the born women in your family, it's a matter of genetics. You'll get a little feminine girly tummy, genetic women refer to it as their "muffin top!" If you remain sedentary you will develop a pear-like shape, so it's important to get purposeful daily exercise, skinny types needn't worry.

In my case I didn't follow through completely with sexual reassignment surgery (SRS) and opted to remain an androgynous person. Sex was interesting because there was suddenly a new element, that is the fact that we discovered the emotional aspect of a relationship that was not formerly there. You've heard women talk about men not being emotionally available? I became emotionally alive! As was said in an earlier post, there are other ways to satisfy a woman without penetration, however ten years later I saw a naturopathic doctor who has implanted bio-identical testosterone pellets in the fatty part of my hip and though I still use female hormones these gave my libido a kick start and the lil fella, though not as big as formerly, will do as he used to and everyone is happy. I know this isn't for everyone, but it's available for those who are willing and able to compromise.
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Tori32

I am glad you did comment!  ;D I need to talk to someone about this stuff and I have no one local. I totally agree that keeping secrets is a problem and I hate to do that. I have told her my plans to get laser hair removal on many parts of my body. she knows I like to dress in her clothing and she knows about me liking different kinds of sex now. One reason I haven't told her anything about transitioning is because I'm not sure if I am going to do it yet. I think I want to but I am weighing the consequences to my family and work lives. She is already freaked out just by the stuff she does know ;). I am scared that if I move too fast telling her she might leave me. I have spent quite a bit of time over the last year trying to figure out if I am gay or not. honestly I am not sure what the answer is... I have thought long and hard about it and I am not attracted to the male form despite the type of things I like in the bedroom that only male equipment (or toys) can provide. I am attracted to the female body regardless what is below the waist. I'm not sure what that means, but there it is. I would have quoted parts of your comment so this makes more sense but I don't know how to do that. Anywho, ya I'm pretty confused on how to handle anything right now. BUT, I'm thankful I have this place to talk about it!!
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Shantel

You'll find people here will be pretty supportive, we all suffer from Dysphoria or Gender Identity Disorder in varying degrees, so you can feel comfortable in this place. Meanwhile you might want to look around and find a counselor who is well versed in these issues and consider getting some professional counseling as we ourselves all have done.
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imogen

Quote from: Shantel on February 09, 2012, 06:14:53 PM
Sex was interesting because there was suddenly a new element, that is the fact that we discovered the emotional aspect of a relationship that was not formerly there. You've heard women talk about men not being emotionally available? I became emotionally alive!
Yes, I experienced that effect as well - made us feel that our relationship was deeper. But still, as my partner would often say, it's an effect; it wasn't something that was necessarily there before HRT. She would often then make the point that for our relationship to be working well, it was conditional upon me keeping on with HRT, and this didn't sound like such a great idea. Still, if I believed that being on HRT was, in the end, inevitable - on account of my already feeling dysphoric before "choosing" to go down this path, and her already enjoying my expression of femininity - then perhaps it's a non-issue.

It's true, the expectation on my penis to still function has caused doubts in terms of thinking about discontinuing HRT. If I hate erections - mainly the sensation, the functional aspect, but still - from time to time - don't mind penetration, how does this work? How do I balance emotional feeling with the knowledge that my partner also enjoys penetrative pleasure? I'm still finding out. But it hasn't diminished my ability to orgasm; just made the act in the itself feel more odd - as you might expect - less of a "got to do it" need. (But then it was always a bit like that.https://www.susans.org/forums/Smileys/susans/grin.gif.). Since HRT there has been a definite loss, in terms of actual penile pleasure; but this has been more than adequately compensated by a heightened female sexuality.

I've heard it said that being on HRT at transitioning levels, will give you a definitive answer (will "distinguish the real girls from the real boys"). But from my experience, this hasn't happened; probably because gender dysphoria presents itself in odd ways. Still, you'll have to decide if starting to go along this path is absolutely what you need, want in the long run..
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Stephe

Orgasms still happen, that's not a problem. On the erection part, not so much. Some people have more than others but I wouldn't assume you will retain the ability to have penetrative sex.
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Shantel

Quote from: imogen on February 10, 2012, 08:16:51 PM
How do I balance emotional feeling with the knowledge that my partner also enjoys penetrative pleasure? I'm still finding out. But it hasn't diminished my ability to orgasm; just made the act in the itself feel more odd - as you might expect - less of a "got to do it" need. (But then it was always a bit like that.

I've been following your thought line and can totally relate! I learned a long time ago that penetrative sex isn't a prerequisite for really good sex unlike what that grinning moron in the Playboy mansion would have us believe. There are two points of intense pleasure in a woman's private place, and either of them are extremely responsive to manipulation. It is most important to take a lot of time before, during and afterward, but as a prelude to all of that take the time to have a long heartfelt discussion with one another about what works for each of you. I've spent hours talking about it with my S.O. and it's amazing the things we learn from each other that we had always just taken for granted. It is time well spent, it is a big part of that emotional connection and it will pay huge dividends in a relationship.
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Flo

You wrote...

I have spent quite a bit of time over the last year trying to figure out if I am gay or not. honestly I am not sure what the answer is... I have thought long and hard about it and I am not attracted to the male form despite the type of things I like in the bedroom that only male equipment (or toys) can provide.

Pardon me, but I haven't learned how to do the "show quotes" thingy

When I read the above I wonder if you don't need some good overall counseling and discussion on this to ascertain who and what you are?  Not being attracted by the male form, but enjoying those "type of things" doesn't mean much really...I have straight male friends who like anal...with their wife.

Think a good bit of time with a sex therapist, gender councilor or some other professional would be best before you start making any decisions...especially revealing anything to anyone..especailly your wife... until you have at least a general understanding.

My opinion...after 20 years of therapy

Flo
Never to old to find peace of mind...but time moves quickly
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Catherine Sarah

Hi Flo,

Quote from: Flo on February 18, 2012, 04:52:48 PM
Pardon me, but I haven't learned how to do the "show quotes" thingy
Flo

Top right hand corner of a post is the "quote" option. Click on it and it'll open a "reply" window. You may edit the quote or highlight aspects of it, insert icons into it etc, etc.

If you want to refer to various sections of the quote, copy and paste the first line of the quote, finishing the specific section of the quote with "[/quote]" command, without the inverted commas. Then make your appropriate response to that specific quote. You can mix quotes as well, providing you can get a copy of that top line of the quote. Starts with [quote author= Flo  link topic=  ...  yardy yardy yardy.

Hope this helps. It's pretty easy once you get the hang of it.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa Huggs
Catherine




If you're in Australia and are subject to Domestic Violence or Violence against Women, call 1800-RESPECT (1800-737-7328) for assistance.
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Jennifer.L

It's pretty strait forward,

#1 assume 30%-60%
             What that means is that if you normally get a stiffy say every other day,  it will be more like every 5-6 days.
             If you normally have to be so horny to keep it up you will need to be 30%-60% more horny to keep it up.

Some people like me pre HRT get off multiple times every day.  and on the other end you have pre HRT that only get off say 1 time a month.   So I will end up with say every other day.  and the monther will end up with once in a blue moon.

There are of course some oddballs but you can use 30%-60% (less often or more difficult)  as a good guide for your self
Live your life.

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Shantel

Dr. Bowers once told me that it's good for a pre-op MtF keep the little fellow functional if at all possible right up to SRS rather than let it all go dead from low libido because the head of that thing needs to remain sensitized as much as possible as it will eventually become your clitoris. The genetic female clitoris is ten times more sensate than the head of a penis. She has to do micro surgery to connect all the nerve endings and hope for the best possible outcome. BTW to all who's consciences have been bludgeoned to death by religious teachings masturbation is not a sin!  :)
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Gretchen

HRT often means divorce. Most wives want a man as a husband, so either your growing boobs or your sporting wood.
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