Okay, so I wasn't getting sick, that's a relief. Nope, tooth started hurting later in the evening last night, ah, no wonder I was feeling ill and my glands were swollen, uh, damn teeth. A tooth should not keep hanging on if its all rotted, it simply doesn't make any sense, its not that damn important, there's still plenty more. Why can't we be like sharks?
Made a few calls this morning, no more endos in my immediate area, so with a suggestion from a friend I tried some OB/GYN's. I had doubts, but I wouldn't hurt to call. One told me, we would be able to take you for hormones, but you have to have a vagina, because we can't see men here. Okay, that did it. Waterworks came, hit me hard after I got off the phone. Yep, that's all I needed, to reconfirm that I am not a woman. I upset my mom, she doesn't now what to do, how to help me because she's in a sorry ass boat alongside me. I know I sounded like such a sad case, so utterly crushed. I'm not a woman, I don't have a vagina, will I ever!? Took me a bit to recover from that blow I tell you.
Went to work for early afternoon since the truck was coming in late. Worked out some vases and frames for a bit then went to help with getting the trash out. Today was just nasty, worst day yet for working freight unload, sun was shining into the dock the whole time and it just totally drains me, wiped me out. I was a working zombie, legs hardly strong enough to stand never mind walk, arms that after dealing with the heavy load of water we unloaded first, made even lifting light things feel like a ton. I drank a lot, went through several bottles of water, but my throat and mouth were dry that when I did any talking, ugh, well it didn't come out female sounding, at least not completely, that my manager I noticed looked at me kind of odd, I just said my throat was dry, which is was, and tried to clear my throat and got another drink. Oh well, if I had a cold or something I wouldn't sound too appealing anyway, so ->-bleeped-<- it. By the end of the unload I was dragging, as it was I wasn't sure if I could finish, never had I been wiped out so bad as today. The young assistant manager dude that kinda likes me saw how beat I was, I told him, I need to find another job, a sit down one or something, this is really killing me. He gave me a hug, I hugged back...hey I needed it. My boss lady was also there, she was supposed to be gone I thought, but she saw me and asked what was wrong, uh, I'm totally worn out I reply. She asked how come. Its just way too hot. This woman is like the Energizer Bunny, she just keeps going and going. As it was when back there with the old manager fellow unloading the waters, we took turns on lifting, and I mentioned how if boss lady were back there she'd be moving them like they were nothing, he agreed and pointed to another palette of water saying she did all that herself the other day.
I hate Texas. The cold can be bad, but at least you can bundle up. There's only so much you can do with the heat, especially at work. Now at home I'll just shut the blinds and strip down to my underwear, but when out there, all I can do is sweat and have my clothes sticking to me, ugh, I need a shower. And I don't like the feeling of sickness that heat brings, too much and its nauseating. I'm missing winter already.
Got home after 7pm, showered, ate, just been sitting here at my laptop, partly typing up replies to messages, partly in a daze.
