Aaarrrhhhh Parents! Money! Feelings! Life!

[Artemis]

Parents sometimes really don't know how to deal with their children.

Today my mother began ranting again about the fact that I needed to find a job! That I needed to stop being so shy, stop being to slow, just go and do it, to to end it all: Be a man!

She knows that in the current state of the economy not one employer is waiting to give a job to an autistic drop-out. I have told her that I am a woman inside. She knows that I'm sure that I will never be happy as a man.  But she just ignores it. Note also that I am actually working on become self-employed? App Developer. It's just so frakking hard!

I because of my GID I have some hesitation to release my first app? I would really hate to have some apps out in the world with my current name on them while it's rather likely that that I will change my name and gender someday?

On the other hand, she is actually right that I need get a better income? My current income is too low. I would not even be able to transition the way I want to on this income alone. My medical insurance will pay for most of the basic stuff but if I want to get it done just the way I want it, I would need to spend about 30-60 k€ extra. Which I don't have.

*sigh*

[Devlyn]

Life is full of obstacles. You outlined the hurdles in front of you, they won't go away. You have to get over them one at a time. You're going to do just fine! Hugs, Devlyn

[BlonT]

As a parent i know we say things from frustration more then to think over them.
Just like the  be a man ,no idea how old you are but the are used to say OUR boy  for long its hard to break a habbit!
We are all brainwashed to used gender terms , guess thats the reason the first ask is it a boy
Life is hard and we all wear masks to hide our soul nobody want to get ridiculed for what she/he feels.
Long ago i calculated on how to spend my money lol never worked.
I solved it by focusing on nature ,hearing the birds sing  seeing things grow , the smell of spring.
And solve problems one by one !
hugs

[Artemis]

As a parent i know we say things from frustration more then to think over them.
Just like the  be a man ,no idea how old you are but the are used to say OUR boy  for long its hard to break a habbit!

i think you might be right that it's mostly frustration, powerlessness and habit. And usually I can take it but sometimes (usually about once a month) everything just becomes to much to handle).

We are all brainwashed to used gender terms , guess thats the reason the first ask is it a boy
Life is hard and we all wear masks to hide our soul nobody want to get ridiculed for what she/he feels.

And in this case, the better my mask was, the better I was in hidding my true feelings, the harder it is now to change? The mask has become almost like a comfort blanket, I hate it and at the same time hiding behind it makes me feel save and secure.

Long ago i calculated on how to spend my money lol never worked.
I solved it by focusing on nature ,hearing the birds sing  seeing things grow , the smell of spring.
And solve problems one by one !
hugs

Good advice. There is also no real point: I don't have the money at the moment. Better to solve this problem and then worry about spending the money when I actually have it.