Hellow My dear friends, thanks a lot for everything, you are like my family, well so i think i have this noise, i´ve been thinking about that noise and maybe surgery will quiet it, that´s a good start i think.
About what i want, well basically i want to look more femenine, face, waist, hips and butt, my arms will slim down if i continue exercising, i was looking my body through the mirror, and i like my upper body, but mentally i feel like a little bit fat, i am not fat, and i know it i weight 65 kgs and my height is 1.65 cms, so i´m weighting what i´m suposed to weight, i will like to weight maybe 62 or 60 kgs, just to look a little bit more "fragile", i can reach that goal changing my food habits and exercising, so it´s not a big deal, about HRT, at first i was thinking about it to get the hourglass body, all the benefits from fat redistribution, skin, mental, etc.. but i am really stressed about the secondary effects, my libido, heartattacks, trombosis, etc.. And i really CAN´t balance the pros and the cons, because in my opinion, at least for me, there are more cons than pros, so that´s why i am thinking more about surgery.
So if someday i decide to take some E, i will do it like i told you, 3 days a week or something like that, or maybe consuming isoflavones, just for quieting GID purposes, not feminization purposes, obviously if i can have more butt, hips and legs, that would be awesome, but maybe i don´t even take pills because i am pretty comfortable with the size of my boobs, and i don´t see myself with boobs, i see myself with boobs but more in a fantasy world, not in the real world, do you know what i mean? so getting boobs will be like a con for hrt for me, im afraid of developing breats because my sister have big boobs, my unts, some cousins, so i think my boobs will grow within the first 2 months, and having boobs will be not compatible to act like a "guy" to society, because right now i am thinking on not changing my documents, my name or anything, also i not longer feel the need to "come out" to people, just my parents and people i care, not everyone, so i guess people would look at me and say something like "oh, he has a new look" he look prettier almost like a girl, and that kind of stuff, but for ME, i will be me, i won´t hide anymore, so this is the pros of being androgynes, we can be whatever we want, i consider myself ( obviously when finilize my transition) an angel, i think im a great person, a great dad and mom, an entrepenneur ( is this correct? ) and i will succeed in life.
I have good and bad news, my father offered me a job, 400 usd per month, i studied MEchatronical engineering, but all my life i was independent, i had my companies, bussineses etc.. When i started living with my "wife" ( i´m not really married) the economical issues began, so no one hires me because "my lack of experience", i hate that, but that is my reality, people think i don´t deserve a good salary, and think i don´t know anything, i feel like people treat me like if i had zero education, including my dad, but well, right now this oportunity is the only i have, so i have a job now "yeeeeei" ( sarcasm ) BUUT, he wants me to cut my haiiir!! that is the bad part, i was sooo depressed when he told me that, i was like, so WTF am i going to do with my GID?? Hair is a big deal when a guy wants to be androgyne, so i hope he can let that go, if not, what are your recommendations for my hair? my hair is curly, so there are not so much options to search about, so i´m open for good advices.
UUUhmm what else? well i really like doing bussineses, purchases/sales, import/export, but right now i don´t have money to start, the good part about this job, is that someday i will be the owner of the company ( legally it´s mine, but my dad uses my accounts and he takes the money) so i hope we can achieve better results, also i like clothing, i used to sell jeans, bags, also i like make ups hahah, i want to study some beauty, i like CNC and Laser machines, and my next project its about those machines, i want to produce different things, re-sell machines, mainteinance,etc.. Also i like psychollogy, but i´m 30 now, so i think i´d rather just take some courses and not the entire career, i really like fashion too, and also i was thinking on androgynous clothing, i mean produce it, jeans and t-shirts, so i really have a lot of projects in my mind, and some days i really can´t focus on any of them, but i know that my GID is helping a lot with my focus problems, and when i get done with therapy i will make my dreams come true, well that was a little bit more of myself, see you soon, kisses, ciaoo