Nervous Hello

[Kyyn]

Hi. My name's Alex. I'm 22. I was born a female by current gender standards.

For as long as I can remember, I have been uncomfortable in my own skin. It hasn't been a prominent thing as with many others, but it's always been there in the back of my mind and every time I've looked in the mirror I don't feel like I know the person I'm looking at.

I think I've always wished I was a boy. I always felt like there was something missing and sexually, the place that clearly defines me as female, has always felt.. lacking.
I am very female in appearance. "pixie" faced and small. But I look at myself in the mirror and feel misplaced and hollow.

But I have a small problem. I love girly things... I love lace and plushies and disney. I like wearing dresses and putting on make up.
Is this odd? To like all this stuff and still, deep down, ache for a skin I feel myself in? To want to be called Sir, boy, son, dad - even if i have a bow in my hair?

I was once told by someone I trusted that I was selfish for thinking this way and if I like girly things, then I should be happy with what I have... and this hurt and shook me and I never spoke of it again until now. I guess I want a second opinion..

[Devlyn]

Hi Alex, welcome to Susans! We set the standard for not setting the standard around here. You're free to be you and like what you like. There are more positions than "girly" or "boyish" and you'll meet every flavor of person here. See you around, hugs, Devlyn

[King Malachite]

Hey welcome to Susans Kyyn.  There's nothing to be nervous about.


There is nothing odd about what you like as there are cismales who prefer the same.  Also there are Femme FtMs who like to wear dresses etc.

We are all different and that is what makes us special.  There are no standard to abide by when it comes to how we feel gender-wise.  Hope to see you around soon!

[Ayden]

Welcome to Susans! I think you'll find that this place is actually pretty friendly. Coming here has certainly helped me. Don't worry about being a little "girly", there are plenty of folks around these parts that are interested in similar things. I am not too macho myself.

[veritatemfurto]

Hey Kyyn, welcome aboard!

Androgyny can be confusing at first, but you've come to the right place, we have a ton of members that feel just like you do... Regardless of what your interests are or what you wear, we're all family here and are happy to help you along your path to finding your true self!

anyways, helping out the moderators since they appear to be busy again, these are the site terms, guidelines, and rules

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar/post links and photos)
  
• Age and the Forum
  
• Reputation rules
  

See ya around!

Mel

[Kyyn]

  Thank you so much everyone!

I think this is a wonderful site.

And Thank you veritatemfurto, I will read through all of those

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Alex,
A warm Aussie welcome to Susan's. From what you've said in your introduction, I think you are perfectly normal. I certainly don't see any selfish attitude about you. I often see this continuum we somewhere live along as being 3 dimensional. It's not just a straight line between male and female. It has this third dimension that allows for you to have these 'girly' needs and desires. That's what makes us all, so gloriously unique and so individual. I celebrate that aspect of each and everyone of us.

You fit in here, just fine. Hope to hear more of you in the coming months. In the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[Kyyn]

Thank you Catherine!

I'm Aussie too .
It feels good to finally be able to talk about all this.

I'm a cartoonist and for the first time last night I drew myself as I wished I was. It felt good. I wish i could make it real ^_^

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Alex,
Well that's a doubly good reason to welcome you. You have a lot of friends here, Morgan for one. What state do you hail from? I hope you aren't treading water like some of us are.

When you get past your 15th post, you can upload approved pics on a thread. It would be real nice if you could scan and post your drawing. I'd like to see it.

The beauty of needs and desires is that with a little real effort put into them, dreams and wishes do come true.

There is not a week goes by here that someones dream hasn't been realised. That's one thing we love to celebrate. Watching peoples dreams coming true. You can't imagine the unimaginable joy I've had here, even in my short time. It really puts dreams back into the realm of reality. Miracles take just a little longer, but I believe they happen as well.

Your turn, just start asking away.
Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[Kyyn]

I'm from QLD. It's been pouring here and I live close to the river, but no flooding yet.
Fingers crossed it stays that way!

This site excites, confuses and fascinates me. I think I will get to 15 soon enough.

Alas, modern science hasn't caught up with my dream yet, and what we have now still won't fill the void. But to talk about it and to stop denying what I am helps a lot more then i thought it would.

[kelly_aus]

Hi Kyyn,

Another Aussie wishing you a warm welcome! I'm kinda like the opposite of you, I was born a male, but am definitely a female - I just have a few hobbies and interests that don't meet the stereotype.. My solution to that little 'issue'? I just roll with it, I am who I am.. And at least I'm living honestly now, after years of pretending and failing...

On a lighter note, there's a bunch of us Aussie's here known as the Aussie Mafia, perhaps it's time to send Catherine (she's the closest) around to initiate you..  We could do with a man about the place.. 

Hugs,
Kelly
SA Branch of the Aussie Mafia

[Kyyn]

Hey Kelly!

Thank you! The Aussie Mafia? , sounds fun.

I think that's amazing advice. I know that I'm a boy. But, it would seem, a very feminine one haha. I've always been told that I speak, act and think like a male (which made it hard to make female friends) and deep down I wish I could be a boy on the outside.
But to transition would mean changing my lifestyle and i don't want to give up my dresses, toys and make up... it's like, either way I'd lose something.

I want to be pretty... but I want to be a pretty boy.    ...i guess it's complicated.

So until they invent a technology where I could actually have a male body - with full working genitals (major case of penis envy, wont lie) - I am content to be in this female form.

[Cindy]

Hi Kyyn

Yet another Aussie, I'm in Adelaide and try and control the mafia with a total lack of success. Catherine has the remarkable ability to keep growing her knee caps back.

Welcome and there is nothing to apologise for. We are all unique and all different, and here we all accept our wonderful diversity.

Hugs

Cindy

[Jennifer.L]

Welcome to the party sweety    /hugs!  You are you and what ever it is, is Beautiful.      /huggggggggs

[Kyyn]

I changed my identity to "male" in my profile.
Not as easy as i thought it would be, but it's done and i feel really good about it

Thank you everyone!

And Kelly, Cindy, Catherine - I would like to join your Aussie mafia, if I could

[Cindy]

Hmm a council vote is needed. We need a background check and proof of hilarity.

Ok your in.

Hugs

Cindy

[Kyyn]

Haha.

I assure you I am true to my word on here. Much truer then I am offline.

Thank you!

[Jamie D]

Hi Kyyn

Yet another Aussie, I'm in Adelaide and try and control the mafia with a total lack of success. Catherine has the remarkable ability to keep growing her knee caps back.

Welcome and there is nothing to apologise for. We are all unique and all different, and here we all accept our wonderful diversity.

Hugs

Cindy

Not a total lack of success.  I understand the other Aussies are required to bow in the direction of Adelaide five times per day! 

[Devlyn]

<hands on hips, tapping foot> I was humiliated, given a lobotomy, and branded. He provides proof of hilarity, and he's in? Oh, this is BS! 

[Jamie D]

<hands on hips, tapping foot> I was humiliated, given a lobotomy, and branded. He provides proof of hilarity, and he's in? Oh, this is BS!

Those Aussies tend to be cliquish, you know.  I think it is because everything is upside down and backwards for them, and they've got their own continent and all.