I told my mother I'm transgender...

[Keri Allison]

I finally told her...

My mother and I were talking about god knows what, I let her shoot the Nerf gun I just got (Recon CS-6 with the Massacre Mod for those who are interested haha, I am such a dork!) and I just felt so comfortable that I told my mother. I first told her that she can't tell my dad. I love my dad, but he'd be so heartbroken

Then I told her that I'm not gay. And then I asked her if she knew anything about people who get sex changes. And then she looked at me weird... I told her that I'm one of them... She said no, I can't get a sex change. But she said she knows why I'm transgender.

When she was pregnant with me, everyone thought I was going to be a girl. Everyone addressed me (when I was not yet born) as "your daughter" or "the girl". Perhaps it tricked her body into thinking that it was raising a girl and it treated me as such. That must have caused some hormonal imbalance or something.

I asked her if she's going to have trouble sleeping that night. And she said no because it's not a big deal that I'm transgendered. And that I'm still her kid But it's bittersweet I guess. I wont be able to be who I am. And I can't wear her clothes in secret anymore, since she'll be extra vigilant. (But I have girl friends to do that with lols. It's more fun because you get to dress up together lols)

But strangely enough, after I told her, I don't really feel like a girl as much anymore. Of course, I'm still not happy with my body, but I feel it's more or less resolved? But then, if I could wake up as an attractive girl the next morning, I'd be more than happy

[Devlyn]

Well, congratulations on telling her and thanks for sharing with us! Give her time to process it, and expect questions! Hugs, Devlyn

[Keri Allison]

I think she was completely prepared for it. I told her two weeks ago, and she seems to be completely fine. She's really normal. She's more happy that I got into the school I wanted to transfer in than anything. And she's making green curry for me

But still, I'm still not happy. I would like some green curry though...

I even told my fraternity. And they promised to keep it as secret as if it was a fraternity secret..

Which reminds me, I gotta get some dinner with them. Bye for now

[Jennifer.L]

0.o you know thats what happened to me when I told my mom   Every one told me they could kind of tell xD

[Kyyn]

You're so brave!!

I can't even imagine trying to tell my mum... "Hey mum! I'm a boy trapped in a girls body - but I'm not gay, I like girls and boys"
...i think her head would explode

I'm really glad that it wasn't too bad. I hope, with time, she will accept you completely and you can wear whatever you want around the house!

[Keri Allison]

You're so brave!!

I can't even imagine trying to tell my mum... "Hey mum! I'm a boy trapped in a girls body - but I'm not gay, I like girls and boys"
...i think her head would explode

I'm really glad that it wasn't too bad. I hope, with time, she will accept you completely and you can wear whatever you want around the house!

Haha I wouldn't call it brave. I do live by one quote.

"...never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

I'm actually quite reckless. If i'm not, I'd be afraid to do anything.

[Joelene9]

  You're doing OK Keri.  Give your mother time.  I waited 1 1/2 years after getting out of the Navy to tell my wonderful mom in 1977.  It took her a little time.  But I had to postpone my transition due to the economy and the attitude of others at the time and just started a little more than a year ago.   Please don't postpone your plan to transition like I did.  The 33 year gap was hell.  Figuring out your sexual identity early in life will be A LOT easier for you in the long run. 
  Joelene

[Sooner-Or-Later]

Nice work.  I won't tell Mom a thing until I'm done with all the operations.  "Hey, what's up?" - and then explain myself.  It's just easier that way.

[justmeinoz]

Congratulations to both you and your Mum.  It will take a while for her to get used to it.  Let's face it she knew you before you were born!   A sense of humour helps a lot. 

Karen.

[Beverley]

Nice work.  I won't tell Mom a thing until I'm done with all the operations.  "Hey, what's up?" - and then explain myself.  It's just easier that way.

It does not work that way and you are fooling yourself if you think it does.

B.

[Sooner-Or-Later]

It does not work that way and you are fooling yourself if you think it does.

B.

How would you know?  I rarely visit home, and it's not like she will understand anyway until after everything is done.  Then she would be forced to accept it.  I know Mom well enough to know how to play the situation.  If she doesn't want to talk after that, then too bad.  She'll call later on.

[Beverley]

No one lives in total isolation and people love to swap juicy gossip. Good luck to you.

[Jam]

To the OP

It's funny you should say that about the baby thing. When I went to my gender therapist with my mum she told us she and my dad thought I was a boy. My mum said she couldn't explain it she just thought I was one and so they used to call me Tomkins (I didn't know this when I chose my name).

Strange isn't it.

I'm glad your mum took it quite well. Good luck for the future.

[Annah]

you said that your mom said you can't get a sex change (which kinda alluded to me that you're a minor).

But then you say your fraternity sworn to keep it a secret (which kinda alluded to me you are an adult in college).

Kinda confused

[NotThereYet]

That is what I was thinking too, Annah, may we ask how old you are, Keri Allison? Age does make the difference in this case, I think. Nonetheless, the younger you come to grips with things, the better it is, I think.

BTW, Annah: you look absolutely fabulous!!! What is your secret?

Regards,
Andi

[Sooner-Or-Later]

No one lives in total isolation and people love to swap juicy gossip. Good luck to you.

Swapping gossip is irrelevant since I'm thousands of miles away from home.  Given that I'm a thousand miles away from home, it should not be surprising that my lifelong, albeit highly suppressed, transgender tendencies are all coming out now.  I can generally dress how I want up to the point of not getting too many stares, and no one in my family (consisting of two people in the States) can possibly know anything. 

What might not be feasible in my strategy is the long process of doing anything like FFS, but I can always come up with an excuse for why it'll take six months to see her again (work).  Furthermore, she wouldn't notice a thing if I were on hormones since I would just bind my chest anyway.  Anytime I return home in the future, a trusted friend here will hold my clothes, namely underwear since I have no real reason to wear a bra.  But having long hair won't mean anything to her past suggesting that I get a hair cut.  She could get suspicious about my eyebrows, which are done in such a way as to be at that critical point that I alluded to earlier, but how could she possibly infer that that implies any transgender identity? 

One really close friend of mine, when I started discussing this whole matter with him without outright telling him that I'm transgender, said he had all the pieces to put the puzzle together but had no clue overall other than I might be a "sexual deviant" on some level.  That made me laugh, but I told him I'm transgender, and he took it surprisingly well.  There is one good friend in this state who might have a clue and even gets a little curious but still hasn't figured out that I'm transgender.  But funnily enough, we were talking outside an apartment complex, and some guy (with two others) shouted at me from 10 feet away that "I must have the new transgender look" as they all walked away laughing.  I stoically stared, and my friend didn't notice or was too much of a gentleman to acknowledge such an insult.

[Annah]

That is what I was thinking too, Annah, may we ask how old you are, Keri Allison? Age does make the difference in this case, I think. Nonetheless, the younger you come to grips with things, the better it is, I think.

BTW, Annah: you look absolutely fabulous!!! What is your secret?

Regards,
Andi

Honestly? I have no idea.

I took HRT, exercised, lost weight, ...just evolved I guess lol

[Annah]

Keri, can you clear up some confusion for me?

You said your parents wont let you have SRS which tells me you are a minor.

Then you said your fraternity will keep your transgender status as secret...which tells me you are an adult.

So I am confused.

[xxUltraModLadyxx]

Keri, can you clear up some confusion for me?

You said your parents wont let you have SRS which tells me you are a minor.

Then you said your fraternity will keep your transgender status as secret...which tells me you are an adult.

So I am confused.

it doesn't necessarily mean anything about her age. if someone doesn't want someone else to do something, they'll probably say "no, you can't." with something like this, the mom could be worried about her reputation in the family/society. she may also be unwilling to deal with the changes of transition for whatever reason, so of course, it's so much easier for her to say "no, you can't." she cannot stop her if she's 18+, but she just wishes she wouldn't do it.
obviously, i'm not keri, but it seemed relatively easy to me to understand the dynamics of the conversation.

[Jam]

it doesn't necessarily mean anything about her age. if someone doesn't want someone else to do something, they'll probably say "no, you can't." with something like this, the mom could be worried about her reputation in the family/society. she may also be unwilling to deal with the changes of transition for whatever reason, so of course, it's so much easier for her to say "no, you can't." she cannot stop her if she's 18+, but she just wishes she wouldn't do it.
obviously, i'm not keri, but it seemed relatively easy to me to understand the dynamics of the conversation.

Yeah I agree with this, my mum said something similar when I first told her and I'm in my twenties. If she's an adult then her mum may be saying more in a 'I don't want you too' way =]