Distance relationship

JustAnotherTrans · March 04, 2012, 07:33:26 PM

Okay, so my girlfriend, who is also my bestfriend, lives far way from me. I want to see her on the holiday, but I wouldn't have any place to stay because her mother hates me and wouldn't let me stay at their house. Her mother hates me because she sees me as a girl, so she sees me as lesbian and thinks I will turn her daughter lesbian, too. Which is pretty ->-bleeped-<-ed up. I don't know what to do, because I wouldn't be able stay anywhere else there.
I love her so much and want to see her so much.
Any ideas as to how I would be able to see her?

Also, I'm 15 and live in Adelaide, she lives in Brisbane. If I were to see her I'd be paying for the flight there and back.

Hayzer12 · March 04, 2012, 09:25:09 PM

You're still a minor, which is why it is difficult for me to give you advice. If you and she were both adults, I would be able to suggest something, but as it is, you are both completely dependent on your parents. Therefore, I can't really give you any advice. Sorry

wheat thins are delicious · March 04, 2012, 09:36:04 PM

Webcam. Sorry, but that's the only way I'm seeing, since you have no money, and her mother hates you and fears for her daughter's "sexuality" because of you and would likely not allow you to stay with her.

supremecatoverlord · March 04, 2012, 09:46:07 PM

Quote from: Andy8715 on March 04, 2012, 09:36:04 PM
Webcam. Sorry, but that's the only way I'm seeing, since you have no money, and her mother hates you and fears for her daughter's "sexuality" because of you and would likely not allow you to stay with her.

Unless you were willing to pay for a hotel at your age and her mother was somehow okay with you coming to visit her daughter under those conditions, though I assume you would be under some sort of supervision if she was, I have to agree with Andy's suggestion.

Sharky · March 04, 2012, 11:50:50 PM

Even if you went to meet her would her mother let her see you?

Did one of you move? Or is is the separation just short term?

You could always video chat with each other. But if the separation is expected to last years then you should just move on. You're only 15. You have your whole life ahead of you. Do you really want commitment like that now? Youre going to be a wedge between her and her mother. I suggest moving on and trying to enjoy being 15.

lilacwoman · March 05, 2012, 04:08:20 AM

mothers do have a perfect right and duty to worry about their daughters so its understandable she won't let you or anyone else she sees as undesirable around.

I don't know about the travel regs of single 15 years old flying even if funds allowed.

better try communicating by mail or phone if its allowed.

teenage angst is not nice but life flows on so just wait until the mother might allow some contact or else your crush diverts onto some more reachable target.

we've all been there and done it and survived...you will too.

JustAnotherTrans · March 05, 2012, 06:33:02 AM

Moving on isn't a option, I've been with her for 2 years now (Long time for, I know). I did used to live rather close to her, but then ended up moving last year, and their is no chance of me moving back.
I would be able to see her, though yes it probably would be supervised. Webcam probably is the only option, I just wish it wasn't.

Sharky · March 05, 2012, 11:28:33 AM

Why isn't moving on an option? Two years really isn't long. Even if it was that wouldn't mean you should stay to gather. I'm not doubting that you have love for her, but the relationship isn't realistic. Breaking up always sucks but you will live through it.

supremecatoverlord · March 05, 2012, 12:16:12 PM

Quote from: Sharky on March 05, 2012, 11:28:33 AM
Why isn't moving on an option? Two years really isn't long. Even if it was that wouldn't mean you should stay to gather. I'm not doubting that you have love for her, but the relationship isn't realistic. Breaking up always sucks but you will live through it.

Mind you, some people are perfectly content in being in long distance relationships. I agree with you in that I don't really understand them and/or think that they really work, but everyone sees things differently. One thing that does make the relationship particularly difficult though is that he is a minor and his significant other's parents are working against them having a relationship. That alone can be a huge obstacle for someone his age.

Natkat · March 05, 2012, 12:50:43 PM

Quote from: Natkat on March 05, 2012, 12:49:26 PM
2 years are really long if your not able to see each other but still wanna keep contact.
-- as it said before webcame and skype phoning, letters, emails, and so on is the way to keep contact, and then one of you must put up money to visit the other person like on a vacation or something and back again, it might take time.

I know it really suchs but thats the thing about long distance relationship.
I once had a guy from italy, and non of us had the money, so we had to wait for years before it even could be posible, and yet he still dont have the money to come to see me, and me neither.

Sharky · March 05, 2012, 01:03:54 PM

Quote from: JasonRX on March 05, 2012, 12:16:12 PM
Mind you, some people are perfectly content in being in long distance relationships. I agree with you in that I don't really understand them and/or think that they really work, but everyone sees things differently. One thing that does make the relationship particularly difficult though is that he is a minor and his significant other's parents are working against them having a relationship. That alone can be a huge obstacle for someone his age.

True, but I don't get the feeling that he is content with it. Just trying to hang on to the relationship. Even if he was 35 I think it would still be very difficult and doomed. How many people actually spend the rest of their life with someone they dated at 13? I don't even know anyone who had a successful first marriage.

JustAnotherTrans · March 05, 2012, 06:29:14 PM

@ Sharky: I am pretty content with it, and I don't want to move on. Sometimes I try but I can't. I'd love it's love, but how can I say that when I'm only 15? Maybe in time I'll move on from her, but for now I can't.
@ Natkat: Money isn't the issue if I was able to see her, seeing as the flight there and back would only cost around $300, which isn't all that much.

Hayzer12 · March 05, 2012, 06:50:51 PM

I have been in a long distance relationship for over five years, and things are working out. I am finishing up university this year and moving near her. However, we have stayed in contact via phone calls, webcam, and in person visits. I, however, am not 15 years old and travel is easier for me. I'm not saying long distance relationships dont work, but I cannot give advice to go against parents wishes to a minor. The webcam idea is a great idea, though, and I do wish you the best.

Natkat · March 06, 2012, 04:55:34 AM

Quote from: JustAnotherTrans on March 05, 2012, 06:29:14 PM
@ Sharky: I am pretty content with it, and I don't want to move on. Sometimes I try but I can't. I'd love it's love, but how can I say that when I'm only 15? Maybe in time I'll move on from her, but for now I can't.
@ Natkat: Money isn't the issue if I was able to see her, seeing as the flight there and back would only cost around $300, which isn't all that much.

if money int the issue then just go meet up with her somewhere who isnt at her parents. teens learn there way to sneark out sometime or another.

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Distance relationship

lilacwoman