Making new friends and do they ever need to be told you're trans

[Renee D]

I'm curious about others' thoughts on this.  Do you feel a need to tell friends that you are trans or is it just a non issue for you?  Would it depend on whether they were casual friends or close friends?   

Share your thoughts and experiences, please.

I'm kind of iffy on it. I know I've lost a lot of friends over being trans in the past and I'm not real keen on making new ones and then when/if they find out later, they kind of just let things drop or just sort of fade into an acquaintance kind of relationship. 

[JenJen2011]

It's a non issue for me. There's someone I consider a good friend and we have lunch together almost every day. I have never talked to her about me being trans or anything like that. We just hangout and talk girl stuff. I don't think there's any real reason why anyone should disclose that information to a new friend.

[Devlyn]

I just came from the House of Pizza, every employee there, all the bank tellers and everyone at Lowes where I buy propane knows I am a crossdresser. I've never had a problem. I think people prefer you to be an open, honest individual rather than someone with deep, dark, seccrets that turn out to be no big deal and are only deep, dark secrets to you. My .02, hugs, Devlyn

[~RoadToTrista~]

I'm not transitoning for a couple more months so Idk how seriously you'll take me, but for me I wouldn't have any issue being open with my friends, but it would be an issue if for example, I'm already open, I meet someone new, and I wait too long to tell them. That's just something I'm better off getting out quickly if I ever wanna tell that person.

[Devlyn]

Don't take this the wrong way, I mean no harm or disrespect. I have been here for awhile, and 99% of the problems people have interacting with the world is on them. I walk around in boy mode telling anyone who will listen that I like to wear womens clothes. I can't buy an angry response. Maybe I'm that popular, but I doubt it. Again, most of the problem is right between the transgendered persons ears. Hugs, Devlyn

[King Malachite]

I'm not transitioning yet but if I was then I think it depends on the person.  If they seem laid back about it then I may tell them but if not then probably not.  All my online friends know.  I would want to be out to at least a few in life friends so if I have a problem I could talk to them about it.

[Zarania]

in switzerland people dont even know what the difference between a transgendered person/ a dragqueen and a crossdresser is.

so no, i wouldn't be open to anyone, since no one really knows what it means if i say "im a transsexual"

they'd assume that im a guy, which likes to dress as a girl and i have a dick. (they think im a crossdresser immediately)
in switzerland it lacks informations. if you'd see how people even stare at girls kissing/boys kissing each other....

also i think being gay/bi/transgender is something personal, and you don't have to share such personal things. (my opinion)

[sonopoly]

I don't think you owe it to new people you meet to disclose this personal information.  None of my friends have seen my genitals, and unless you change a relationship from friendship to something romantic, I don't think you are obligated to disclose.  You may feel very close to a friend and feel that you can trust him/her and may want to open up, but that is up to you.

[Jennifer.L]

What do you want to be to them?  Some girls just want to be girl, in witch case no don't tell them.  You transistion doesn't have to be 100%.  It's all about being who you are. 

About half the people that know me KNOW.  I made a lot more friends when I started RLE.  I guess I'm alot more likeable when I'm not faking and hiding.  Did anyone else get that?  So the new friends that are like coming out of the wood work.  Then never ask and I just don't mention it.

[Stephe]

  I'm honestly not sure how I am dealing with this. I don't tell people either but most of my friends knew me from before or are friends with people who knew me so I assume they know. New people I meet? I don't bring this up as I don't see it as an issue and partly because I don't think I pass that good so they should know without saying. Then again I have zero problems out in public and given that, people here say I must pass really well. I'm not sure what's going on. Maybe some people don't know? I'm not intentionally hiding it and if someone did say something I would be honest.  But for casual friends, I don't see the point in bringing it up. Like what are you gonna say "You do realize I used to be a guy?" If someone started hitting on me of course THEN I would tell but..

I guess I'm at a point where either: people don't care or I pass good enough they don't know and I'm not sure which it is anymore. And honestly I don't care.

[Naturally Blonde]

It's a non issue for me. There's someone I consider a good friend and we have lunch together almost every day. I have never talked to her about me being trans or anything like that. We just hangout and talk girl stuff. I don't think there's any real reason why anyone should disclose that information to a new friend.

I agree with you Jen and casual friends don't need to know. But if I was in a close sexual relationship it may be different.

[Kyyn]

My current friends always introduce me with male pronouns - though I've been through no T and I'm quite obviously a girl right now..

But now these new friends just start with male pronouns straight off the bat.
I think it's just going to keep going like that without me ever having to say anything.

There's no reason you should tell them, unless they ask. Its not a dirty secret or a contagious disease. Honestly I've never understood the men and women that have to tell others their sexuality upon first meeting them, so I don't see a reason to explain my gender medical defect.

From your profile, you're a beautiful woman. Just rock it and be yourself.

[Cindy]

I don't tell anyone. If they ask I tell them. If they don't ask I don't tell them.

I don't tell people my shoe size or when I last went to the loo, so why tell them your gender. If they want to ask the question, fine. I'm not in the least bit ashamed or embarrassed being me, so why should it be a problem?

Confidence Sis. Confidence.

It is the secret.

Cindy

[Gretchen]

I only talk about my Transness when I feel safe with a person. I could be dealing with another trans person and not talk about my own Transness with them because they are not safe. Safety is always first priority with me, if there is even the slightest possibility that they could do harm then I keep my mouth shut.