Do you ever get used to being "dressed"? And a few other things

[PaigeM]

Long time lurker here, but infrequent poster.
Here's a little about me: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,85814.msg610059.html#msg610059

I have been in therapy and a support group for a little over a year now, and as of Halloween, I started dressing for every appointment and meeting. I have branched out a bit, and now regularly go to the grocery store, Target, Ulta, Starbucks, the mall and clothing stores, etc. as Paige, but I am still part time and pre-HRT (but I have my letter and have an appointment to see the doctor in two weeks!).

My question is, do you ever get used to being dressed in public, as in forgetting what you are wearing and that you are presenting as female? I was wondering that yesterday as I was shopping for groceries.

As far as transition goes, I have been extremely fortunate. I came out on Facebook, sort of. It started with my Halloween picture, and after overwhelming positive comments, I started posting another pic here and there, up to and including my profile pic. I started coming out to family and friends little by little, and now, nearly everyone knows. My family and friends have been incredibly supportive. For example, when I told my sister that I didn't think I should have been born male, she said "I don't think so, either". Huge confidence booster! I recently met with a group of friends from high school, male and female, who accepted me with open arms. No one gives me funny looks or makes comments while I am out; it seems if people know, they don't care, and if they care, they don't say anything. Big surprise in this ultra-conservative town!

I try to be open and honest about transition, and educate people about transgendered people. I do not desire to move to another city and go "stealth", so I want to make people comfortable with me. It is a huge change for them as well as for me, so I don't get upset about pronouns and names. It will come in time. My voice has improved but still needs work, and since I haven't worked in two years (I am the full-time caregiver for my wife, who has ALS, and since insurance does not cover long-term care, I had to quit my job to care for her), I have time to practice. I recently participated in a conference call with Kathe Perez, the voice therapist, and it was recorded and posted online, if anyone wants to hear my voice, and I would love feedback. http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=EfpkY&m=3V_2i9Hn.NZHmJw&b=ILL5Sd.SONbF2brhILg9MA

And here are a few pictures:

Halloween 2011: Sorry for blurry photo!


Getting my first womens' glasses:




I actually got compliments on this dress from a complete stranger (female)!




The obligatory "before" picture:


Thanks for reading this. I do appreciate any comments or feedback.

Paige

[Wild Flower]

If this is you before hormones, then I can't even imagine what you look like with it. I think you pass already, which is a lot to say for someone without hormones lol. You're beautiful in  a Celtic way .

Hope for the best.

[JenJen2011]

All I can say is, you look great!

[Kelly J. P.]

 You do. I imagine it's pretty different for everyone, but I got 'used' to it shortly after going full-time. Now, I'm still not used to wearing a bra - that is, it feels awkward because it isn't really holding anything - but everything else fits in pretty well. I would feel very strange if I were to dress in guy clothes - something I haven't done for a good eight and a haf months.

[EmilyElizabeth]

Yeah you definitely do.  It probably takes less than a month for it to seem normal (at least for me).  Now if I put on boys clothes it feels like I'm in drag, haha

[Kitty_Babe]

To the OP - I think you look totally fine, nice choice of wardrobe too fitting for you, they really suit you

Of course you will get used to wearing them everyday, it will just take time to adjust that's all.

[Cadence Jean]

It really depends on my mood.  There are days when I'm on top of the world and I don't think about the fact that I'm presenting as a woman.  There are other days when I'm down on myself, and those are the days when I wonder if I'm being read and I'm more cognizant of my presentation.  I think it also depends on the context too - like using the womens restroom, or shopping in the womens section, tend to make me think more about how I'm presenting, than, say, going to see a movie or finding a sear at a restaurant.

This is way better than when I started out and was nervous about it the entire time I was out.  It gets easier.  I'm not full time yet, but I suspect that when I am, it'll be like "whatever."  Unless I'm trying to dress up and attract a girl at the club - then I'll probably be thinking about my appearance more.

My question is, do you ever get used to being dressed in public, as in forgetting what you are wearing and that you are presenting as female? I was wondering that yesterday as I was shopping for groceries.

[Randi]

My observation is that very few women wear a skirt or dress these days.

I was at a meeting of the League of Women Voters a while back, and not one of the women present was in a dress or skirt.

Look at prime time television.  There are more women wearing sport coats than there are wearing a dress or skits

Pretty soon it will be a "tell".....    Over fifty?  Not a formal occasion?  Wearing a skirt or dress?  She's probably not a natal born woman.

Real women wear pants!

Randi

[xxUltraModLadyxx]

My observation is that very few women wear a skirt or dress these days.

I was at a meeting of the League of Women Voters a while back, and not one of the women present was in a dress or skirt.

Look at prime time television.  There are more women wearing sport coats than there are wearing a dress or skits

Pretty soon it will be a "tell".....    Over fifty?  Not a formal occasion?  Wearing a skirt or dress?  She's probably not a natal born woman.

Real women wear pants!

Randi

women used to get beaten or stoned for wearing pants  it's because a dress was considered modest apparel, and that is full length. now, with miniskirts and thongs, they are anything but modest!

[pretty]

Personally I never got used to wearing boy clothes in the first place, but then they were always too big for me anyway so....

Girl clothes feel more natural to me.

My observation is that very few women wear a skirt or dress these days.

I was at a meeting of the League of Women Voters a while back, and not one of the women present was in a dress or skirt.

Look at prime time television.  There are more women wearing sport coats than there are wearing a dress or skits

Pretty soon it will be a "tell".....    Over fifty?  Not a formal occasion?  Wearing a skirt or dress?  She's probably not a natal born woman.

Real women wear pants!

Randi

Sorry but the League of Women Voters is the last place to get a good representation of modern fashion 

Women wear dresses and skirts all the time.

[monica93304]

Hi Paige!!!

[PaigeM]

Hi Paige!!!

Hey, I know you! ;-)

[Jen-Jen]

First, I want to say that you look great!  Yes you get used to it, it takes a little time to get over the hammered in"your a guy" society has put in your head. But I agree with EmilyElizabeth I totally feel in drag when in boy cloths now, its so awesome!

[nicole99]

I was just going to say I personally think you dress really fab. I think you are a gorgeous lady who dresses really appropriately for her age and figure.  I can also see your personality in what you wear, your own sense of style. Keep it up hun!

And yes you do get used to it. But by the end of the day most women want to take off the f-ing bra!!

[noleen111]

It took me a week or two to get use to dressing fulltime... now its so normal.

I got use to wearing bra.. and actually like it..

[Randi]

Agreed!

But I'm 62 years old.  The LWV is my cohort.  Educated, intelligent and past middle age.  I feel very comfortable around them.
I would definitely stand out, and not in a good way, if I dressed in a "fashionable" way.

In my opinion there are too many "over 50" transwomen who are trying to look "under 30".

Sorry but the League of Women Voters is the last place to get a good representation of modern fashion 

[Catherine Sarah]

In answer to the question.
Yes. The art of getting dressed appropriately and in reasonable time, is like Groundhog Day. BUT, throughout the day, particularly when I'm alone driving to or from work (over an hour one way) , just looking down and seeing that skirt, is a powerful emotion. I'm still pinching myself on that one. Doesn't seem possible, yet is so real.

Walt disney doesn't hold a patent on Dreams coming true. It's available to anyone that tries.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[PaigeM]

My observation is that very few women wear a skirt or dress these days.

I was at a meeting of the League of Women Voters a while back, and not one of the women present was in a dress or skirt.

Look at prime time television.  There are more women wearing sport coats than there are wearing a dress or skits

Pretty soon it will be a "tell".....    Over fifty?  Not a formal occasion?  Wearing a skirt or dress?  She's probably not a natal born woman.

Real women wear pants!

Randi

That is a fair assessment, though it may be a regional thing. Women here tend to dress a little nicer for work in nicer offices, etc., and I am trying to build up a work-, age-, and shape-appropriate wardrobe for when I am able to go back to work. I do wear pants and jeans sometimes, but I never seem to take any pictures in them. I prefer skirts and dresses. There are a couple of reasons for this. One, I have been wearing pants for 43 years; I like the idea of having the option of wearing a skirt or dress whenever I feel like it. Two, skirts can fool the eye into seeing a shape that isn't there. I have broad shoulders and a big belly, but narrow hips and thin legs. A good A-line skirt gives the illusion of a narrower waist and wider hips. Wearing pants, I feel more exposed, so I tend to wear long, shaped tops or fitted tops with long, flowy cardigans to hide my lack of shape.


Thanks for all the comments!

Paige

[Assoluta]

That is a fair assessment, though it may be a regional thing. Women here tend to dress a little nicer for work in nicer offices, etc., and I am trying to build up a work-, age-, and shape-appropriate wardrobe for when I am able to go back to work. I do wear pants and jeans sometimes, but I never seem to take any pictures in them. I prefer skirts and dresses. There are a couple of reasons for this. One, I have been wearing pants for 43 years; I like the idea of having the option of wearing a skirt or dress whenever I feel like it. Two, skirts can fool the eye into seeing a shape that isn't there. I have broad shoulders and a big belly, but narrow hips and thin legs. A good A-line skirt gives the illusion of a narrower waist and wider hips. Wearing pants, I feel more exposed, so I tend to wear long, shaped tops or fitted tops with long, flowy cardigans to hide my lack of shape.


Thanks for all the comments!

Paige

Many cisgendered women do similar things also - I know some genetic women who describe themselves as being built like a brick ->-bleeped-<-house, as they say, with broad shoulders and not much curves - so you don't have to think it's a purely trans thing not to have the ideal shape.

[Queen Erika]

I feel like I've gotten to a point where I can wear jeans and a band shirt under a band hoodie and still feel cool. That said, if I could be wearing a skirt and floral black tights, I definitely would be all the time. Hard femme, aw yeah :p ~~~Maybe once hormones kick in a bit I'll be all good to wear skirts. That, and it's finally warm outside, so in Winter fashion is bound to take a nosedive. Especially in -40 celcius. ...Spring is such a perfect time to transition, both literally, and symbolically... :3

I often dress fairly close to what I would likely dress like full time, so my main thing is makeup. I usually just wear it to Queer Art Group meetings and clubs. Grocery shopping or doing laundry, I don't usually bother. I had a moment a couple weeks ago where I put makeup on before I left for my Art Group and I got there and after about an hour I was like "...Holy crap, I'm wearing makeup! Sweet! I forgot! It's like it's a part of me now!"

It just takes some time. An important thing to remember is that you're still a woman and you're still just as gorgeous and awesome when you're not wearing fancy clothes or makeup. Makeup is like a mask. You will always be you underneath, and that should be valued as well.

...I also grew up around a bunch of anarchists, so I'm used to seeing ciswomen with hairy armpits and no makeup. But hey.