Objectification + Passing

[K Style Addiction]

+1
except no one hits on me lol

+1
I never get hit on either, must be unattractive and too tall for anyone to hit on me LOL. I don't think i would mind it really unless they had that serial killer vibe.

[Alainaluvsu]

I've been hit on twice...  once with no makeup, wearing work clothes (company shirt w/ male jeans) by some random ->-bleeped-<-. Another time at a club, again with no makeup, wearing all male clothes.

It's pretty reassuring that ->-bleeped-<-s know I'm trans without even going out as female. I love going to straight clubs, too. I get more looks from guys there than I do at gay clubs .. and I've never been out in public in female clothes, or with makeup on.

I just love it how if I'm at a restaurant sitting down, waiting for food, guys walk by me and through my peripherals, see them looking down at me right as they walk past me.

[K Style Addiction]

I just remembered, i was in Thailand and i was in an elevator and got off the wrong floor, this guy tilted his head and smiled at me, i had no make up on and because i was going to the air port had male outfit on.



His smile was like this but he tilted his head, like it was falling from his head. I thought he was making fun of me, was he?

P.S - He wasn't that handsome.

[justmeinoz]

Unless the man involved makes a habit of it, I'd just accept it as proof that you pass pretty well, and leave it at that.  Just consider it a compliment from someone socially retarded.   
Must admit I don't mind if it's another woman, never know where it could lead.  But I know where I'd like it to!

Karen.

[K Style Addiction]

It was probably just a shy guy. So he smiled at you? Why are you LOOKING for failure here Donna? Did he run out of the elevator screaming? Did he lie on the floor laughing, kicking his legs in the air like a dying fly? Did he yell "OMG your are a transexual?". No - he smiled.

There is an old saying in England (maybe everywhere, but definitely England) and that is "If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then whatever you think, it is probably a duck". Learn to accept people's behaviour for what it appears to be. People are NOT going to walk up to you in public and say "You are clearly a woman - well done" and pin a badge on you. When people accept you as a woman you will get glanced at, sometimes you will get smiles, most times you will just get ignored.

I completely understand and you're right, i'm just weird...yes negative...i just can't find anything positive about myself but before this goes on being about me, it was a cheek to cheek smile/grin so i just thought it was weird....my mom quipped "he likes what he see's"....i told her "he was laughing at me"...*sigh*. You have to admit it's weird that he tilted his head, who smiles like that?!

Unless the man involved makes a habit of it,

No, i never saw him again, i don't live in Thailand lol .

[Rabbit]

No one has ever crossed the line though IRL, only in chats.

Yea, I had only had guys cross the line in chats too.... untill yesterday :| :|

I was going to pick up a friend at 7:30 am and was on the elevator in my building. Another guy got on on the way down... I said hi and then started looking at my phone. He asked if i lived there, and said he had seen me before, and then asked for my number. After checking to make sure he was ok with my type (heh, i was a little shocked) ... i said sure he could have my number.

This is where he crossed the line... when we got off the elevator... as I was walking out past him, he grabbed me and started kissing me!!!!!

I guess I wasn't as used to the aggressive approach as I had thought. I just froze and couldn't think :| The rest of the day turned out to be interesting too lol

The thing is, all this was with him knowing I was trans... I wasn't dolled up or anything that early in the morning....

[JenJen2011]

Lol. And what did you do? Did you like it? Or did you give him a good ol' slap in the face? :p

[Rabbit]

Lol. And what did you do? Did you like it? Or did you give him a good ol' slap in the face? :p

I was just so shocked that I froze up..  i don't react to things violently

Looking back, I made a lot of mistakes yesterday But I'm still alive and not hurt... so.... live and learn.

Oh, btw, apparently when a guy tells you he just wants to talk... he is lying!!

[azSam]

How have you folks dealt with this sort of thing early on in your transition? I mean, on one hand, it's good to know you're passing, on the other, it's pretty creepy (to me.) Don't get me wrong, some of you might enjoy such things, and that's fine by me, but yeah. This one's for the people out there who are/were as weirded out as I am.

It can be creepy, depending on what the guy does. But I do enjoy it most of the time

As a matter of fact, I instigate it a lot of times. Talk a bit, flirt a bit, smile, walk with a little extra wiggle. Just to mess with their head. I was talking to a girl friend last night about it, it's practically a hobby and it really builds my self esteem. I like to give one last smile over the shoulder as I leave to make the guys head explode (yes the head that's attached to his neck..... xD ).

[K Style Addiction]

There is nothing weird about it. Go to India where tilting the head whilst smiling is very common. There are about a billion indians... how common do you need this to be?

Besides - what does it matter? You will never ever see him again and he was not rude or ill mannered. So even if you are right, why are you going to let someone you do not know make you upset? Right now at this precise moment in time, do you think he is sitting somewhere remembering you and laughing? He has already forgotten you. No matter how good or how bad YOU feel will make no difference to him so why brood on it? Simply accept that you passed and forget it.

Beverley

I did not know that, i know he'll never see me again but i just want to know if it was a good thing or a bad, passing is all i care about, i don't know why.

yes the head that's attached to his neck..... xD

LOL

[K Style Addiction]

If they do not jump up and down and point at you and nudge their mates then you are passing. It is fairly obvious when you fail....

Remember that most of the time, passing is a big disappointment because absolutely nothing happens because you pass.

Confidence Donna - and practice. Go out and pass some more.

Beverley

I just need to improve my make-up before i do what i stated in my thread, i look exactly like i do in my avatar so...that's a pretty good gauge at what i look like. Thanks Bev

HUGS!

[Sarah Louise]

If that avatar picture is you, I don't understand your fear.  I would think you would pass perfectly.

[Shantel]

Some guys seem to think that our "type" is more open to things without the niceties that "normal" women would expect  for some reason. I've run into a little of that, but I'm adamant about no sex, especially from someone who thinks that way.

I'm with you Renee, It's not only nervy but extremely insulting of anyone to assume that because we are MtF trans we must be looking for sex with a man. That fellow is a good candidate for a swift knee in the crotch! Any woman regardless of their gender at birth deserves to be treated with the same civility and respect that has been traditionally afforded to women in civilized society for generations.

[Joeyboo~ :3]

Not because we're *trans*, but i think its because of our genitalia.
They think we're the same as them, sexually.

[JenJen2011]

It's true. Some guys go from total gentlemens to perverts within seconds after telling them I'm trans. Then that's when I hit the X button.

[Rabbit]

Some guys seem to think that our "type" is more open to things without the niceties that "normal" women would expect  for some reason. I've run into a little of that, but I'm adamant about no sex, especially from someone who thinks that way.

Eh, I dunno... "normal" women jump into bed ALL the time. My best friend (same age as me, hot 'normal' woman) will have sex with a guy just for sex (without all the niceties).

Friends with benefits sittuations are common... and kinda needs a frisky partner to work

[Shantel]

Not all normal women are sluts and hop in the sack with just anyone. Those that do don't get any respect from the guy anyway, they're just a convenience until the thrill is gone. Bring up the word commitment and the guy is gone at warp speed!

[Alainaluvsu]

I kind of understand what you're going through a lil better now.

Today I was approaching a door but there were 2 guys in front of me. They got to the door first and opened it, and let me though. I said thanks, and one of the guys gave me one of those "looks". It was very difficult for me to understand how he couldn't see I'm a "guy". I mean, here I am, work clothes and zero makeup.. about 30 hours since I've shaved, and a guy is looking at me with a smile I never get from straight guys. I kind of smiled and walked by him tucking part of my hair behind my ears.

It's really hard to believe you'd pass when you've NEVER, EVER been thought of as female. I mean, for 25 of my 30 years, my perceived sex has ALWAYS been male, so when I look in the mirror I see all the features that make me look like a guy. But apparently HRT has changed enough to make that very questionable on good days.

And btw, when I walked out of that building again, some guy sitting in a van yelled out "Hey girl!". I was the only person in the parking lot and I was about 75 feet away, so I know he wasn't talking to anybody else...

Anyways, just letting u know that I know how you're questioning things right now, but honestly I think the guy thought you were cute.

[Rabbit]

Not all normal women are sluts and hop in the sack with just anyone.

[Keaira]

I've had a bunch of guys who were on site at the factory I work at that who were here doing construction openly stare at me as I put my lunch away in the break room. It disgusted my friend, who is also trans and not out about it.

Then just yesterday I caught one of the press operators staring at my butt as I swung out of the press and landed on my feet.  I happened to glance over my shoulder and he gave me this leering grin. I just ignored it. He knew me from when I was a guy, which makes it really awkward. lol.