I started this to help overcome some deep childhood resentment from someone we expect to lose at any time. Of course he has fought hard and stuck around 15 years he "wasn't" supposed to have, but he lost his wife earlier this year and he just isn't trying as hard anymore. As I wrote it I realized it could make it more. I could try and make it a story of hope for us all.
It isn't exactly free verse, but it isn't totally structured either. Each couplet rhymes and has similar meter. I did this not as a pure affectation, but so that it forced me to stop and analyze what I was really writing. It is easy to make words spill onto the page, but if you have to make them fit then you consider them more.
Any comments are welcome. If I've forced a rhyme let me know (especially if you have a suggestion). If I've miss counted meter between a pair let me know (again especially if you have a suggestion).
I am me and you can be you
I am me, and always have been.
I even told you way back when.
You misunderstood intentionally what I said I know,
because it was easier and somewhere you didn't want to go.
While I sat on the couch and pushed it in
trying so hard to make a hole within.
You accused me of pleasure, but this was pain.
It seemed for my trying, it was all in vain.
You growled at me that it was a sin,
so I learned once more to keep it within.
You lectured and heaped upon me guilt and shame,
to ensure that I learned to play this game.
I soon learned that sin wasn't about Him,
but rather it was what we showed to them.
Their opinion, the one of our crowd
to protect it you soon had me cowed.
So all of these feelings I put in a jar
and flung it away from me so far far far.
But the jar it shattered and they slowly seeped back in.
They hid in the darkness and ate away from within.
So for many years I did just as you said
until I realized my soul was not fed.
You found for me someone to share my life,
but were not happy when I took her as a wife.
To you she was only a practice run.
You thought her unworthy to be my one.
Our love it fed so much of my soul
that I felt I was in firm control.
Our children soon they came and with both we were blessed.
The strength of our family helped me pass all the tests.
But these feelings were subtle. They did not go away.
I fought and I fought, but they were here to stay.
My walls were built slowly and made to be strong,
but these feelings kept battering for so long.
They broke it and out rang a shout!
Then I knew that I must come out.
I struggled and struggled with how to proceed.
I knew that there was little hope to succeed.
I loved them all much much too dear.
Loss of their love stuck me with fear.
I told you and waited, hearing nothing but tick tock,
but after a while you answered and gave me a shock.
You thought that together we could do this.
That a love that was so strong you would miss.
It hasn't been easy, nothing worthwhile ever is.
Though we've had many struggles, our love still has its fizz.
And so now I share this, that you too may have hope.
Because I know how easy it is to buy rope.
If one of us can do it then why not us all.
Our brothers and sisters are too few to let fall.
Things are different for each of us indeed,
but all that matters is for you to succeed.
I can tell you it gets better, I truly agree,
but it is up to you to open your eyes and see!
