Awkward Passing Moments

[Dane]

Passing when it might not be the best really isn't great sometimes.

Just yesterday:
>teacher is out of school, we have a 65 year old sub
>I'm talking to my friend Justin about a book
>teacher comes up to me
>pinches my cheek
>"You tone it down Little Mister!
>Entire class says I'm a girl
>She looks horrified and lets go of my cheek

That was pretty awkward. I don't know why the felt she had the right to touch my face anyway...
It's almost worse when you pass completely, and then someone says you're a girl and the other person sort of turns red and stuff. I've also been out with my family and have been forced to use the woman's room, and people have told me to basically get out, and I had to say I was a girl. That stuff isn't fun.

[Biscuit_Stix]

Yeah, pretty spooky why she thought it was cool to get so affectionate as to touch you. I mean, she is 65 though, and elderly women generally tend to be pretty... friendly, like that. And I'm sure it was just as awkward for her. On one hand, gratz for being able to pass so well, but on the other... Yeah, sucky awkward turtle. I had a weird situation a few years ago, when I didn't know I was passing at all. I just thought I looked tom-boyish, and this girl (younger than me) comes up to me and says, "Hey, my friend thinks you're cute". Not even thinking, I just said "Oh, sorry, I have a boyfriend." Her jaw hit the floor and she yelled "Oh my god, you're GAY!?" at the top of her frickin' lungs, and then proceeded to squeel and run away I just stood there like a goon while the whole building turned to stare and snicker at me. Joy -_-; On the bright side though, once you're out of school, it'll be a fresh start. You probably won't have nearly as many situations like that. At least, none where an entire room of people will out you all at once.

[Kreuzfidel]

That used to happen to me back in my school days all the time.  I was recently accompanying my wife to the women's dressing rooms to help her choose a bra and was told by the attendant to leave because men weren't allowed lol  But the passing and then having others "corrected" that I am "female" doesn't happen anymore because no one here knew me before transition.

[harlee]

At the moment I am doing an electrical course at TAFE (which I guess is like a University or College in Australia, just "easier") so I can become an electrician. There are about 24 people in the class aged around 16-30 years old and only one of them is a girl. On the first day of my course, the teacher called out my birth name but after class I just asked to be called by a preferred male name, and there were no more problems after that (well thats what I thought!).

I am about 6 weeks into my course now, but earlier during the second week we were told that we would need to do a short numeracy and literacy test just to see how much we knew and what we needed help with. The lady instructing the test walked in and the first thing she said was, "Good morning boys and girls! Oh wait, boys and GIRL." My teacher then says "No, you were right, there are 2 girls!" Eveyone has no idea what he is talking about but he keeps going just to make it worse and says, "(Boy Name), (Girl Name), is a girl", referring to me! I wasnt looking at my teacher, I was too embarrassed to, but I was sure he was looking at me! Hopefully he wasnt pointing aswell but he must have been because the lady then says, "No, I think that is a boy". My teacher finishes by then saying "Really? Well Im confused". I think that was one of the most awkward ones Ive had!

My whole class just sat there and didnt say a thing. And somehow everyone must have forgotten the incident because they still call me "he". Unless they are just being nice. I think Ive been lucky so far!

[InstantRamen]

agreed, this stuff srsly gets awkward as heck, especially with a room full of classmates and other people

School district computer people came down to the computer room of my high school (which i'm apparently in for a class), as they come around putting in anti-virus programs in, they come to my seat and tell me to sit aside and wait, the lady goes "mister, just wait one moment ok?" long story short, my teacher comes around and overhears the lady constantly referring me to sir or mister, and my teacher ends up calling me by my birth name all casually for something and the lady gives me a weird look and starts apologizing as frantically as she could @_@

[Jamiep]

Yo Bradd

You were presenting as the male you & your family told you you had to use the women's washroom. Yikes, I understand why you were told to get out of the ladies room. The first time out with my friends in a restaurant, my friends and I are all mtf and I was told, presenting as a female I had to go to the ladies washroom. Always the gender you present is the washroom you go to. If you don't, it could get worse & you end up in trouble. A couple of years ago I came out to my Sis & she is okay with me, but she drew the line when we went to a pub, she wouldn't got to the ladies room when I was there. Funny.

Best wishes.

Jamie

[malinkibear]

A wee while ago I was at a Russian cultural fare with some people I know from uni. I also knew a bunch of the other people there as acquaintances, but I hadn't come out to anyone at the time. I was roped into playing this traditional game where everyone stands in a circle with someone in the middle, and the person in the middle has to pick someone of the opposite sex to come into the circle with them, they guess a direction to kiss each other in three times, and if they get it right then you're fated to get married. Some 35 year old woman had her turn in the middle, and then set her sights on me. I told her I was a girl while my friends just stood awkwardly laughing, the poor woman went bright red and quickly turned to someone else. She avoided my direction the rest of the day. I laugh about it now I'm out, but it was awkward.

[Hayzer12]

My friend's parents had me stay with them in a condo they rented for me and my friend. Well, we all went out to a show and a lady that worked at the show called me sir(I'm nearly 6 months on T). Her parent's are completely clueless, and I am not out to them as trans yet(her dads a pastor) and I guess they just assume that I'm a tomboy or gay. I'm not really sure. Anyways, I passed to everyone going out - but they acted completely oblivious so I really don't think they knew what was going on. The dad just kept looking completely confused the entire night. I thought it was hilarious... and scary at the same time rofl.

I mean their son(he's 13) said how "buff" I'm getting, and how I'm "no girl" at the gym when I benched 200. He punched my stomach and was saying how hard it was and how big my arms were. He's starting out in football and he was just amazed of how strong I am.

I mean they've known me for 5 years, so maybe they're just in denial but it made for an exciting night.

[Kyyn]

woooah. This is all kinda scary.
I have a freakishly female face so unless i have a bag on my head im not gonna be able to present fully as male.

Mixed feelings between wanting to be seen as a guy and not wanting awkward "earth-please-swallow-me-now" moments

[Natkat]

I remember back in school there where this young guys, calling me she" and so, and my at that time boyfriend corrected them saying "he"
they turned out saying "he" instreed, but then when there teacher where there they start scolding them for calling me he.

[unitentionallymental]

@_@ my most awkward moment is when i went to camp D:
we all went to the bathrooms(the girl's bathroom house on one side and the guys across from it)
I started to go into the girls and the girls started to scream"theres a boy in the girl's room) xD I was 8 or 9 at the time.
Even the camp leader or whatever didn't know my gender(first day of camp).
I ended up not saying anything and just went in the boys bathroom :3 I told them i was a "girl" at  last day of camp

[rexyrex]

I had a lot of awkward moment when people do see me as a guy, and when i wasnt out or trying to pass i was young too....when people say boy or he or stuff like that i always say no im a girl and i wish i have not said anything about it looking back into it now. Or when my mum tells them that im a girl  but the one i really do remember is i came out of a girls bathroom one guy said "dude u arnt ment to be in there the gents is over there..." tried to tell him he didnt beleive me XD....

So yeah looking back into it i kinda wish i didnt say i was a girl even though i wasnt just wish i knew what was wrong with me then.

[The Hawk]

Ooh, well just a couple of days ago I had gone to get my first driver's license. (yay) I had noticed they had marked my gender as male, so I was super happy about that...

Sadly, later that night they call me to tell me to come back in because they need to "fix" something on the license. So I go back and I was with my mum at the time, and the lady says oh we just have to change this because on your birth certificate it says female, but she ( the person who gave it to me the first time) put male.

So I got kinda pissed after that, but then the lady started saying stuff about how we can get the gender changed and she was like oh we had to do it for my son too because the ministry made an error on the birth certificate. I was kinda happy that she thought it was a problem with the birth certificate and she didnt even think I was trans lol! But anyways, then my mom has to open her mouth and say, "Oh, well us its not an error." *Facepalm* The lady looked so confused after that and I was just standing there... It was quite awkward. I just don't understand why it was necessary for my mum to add that comment.

[Kyyn]

Just reading through: There are a LOT of mothers doing the outing... and no one does anything about it.

If my mum did that to me, I'd tell her to stop!

[skakid]

This one time I was at my aunt's house with my dad and brothers and my dad introduced me and one of my younger brothers to a family friend. She looks down at me and my brother and tells my dad "Your sons are so handsome" and my dad goes "Thanks, my other son is actually in the car..." Everyone in the room heard the whole thing.

[Felix]

Just reading through: There are a LOT of mothers doing the outing... and no one does anything about it.

If my mum did that to me, I'd tell her to stop!

You're right. Wow. These stories are cringeworthy, but there's also a strong element of parental, um, callousness I guess would be the nice way to put it. Gosh.

From the other side, my awkwardest passing moments involved my daughter, and mostly were when I was in that in-between phase where I could pass as either male or female but neither easily. Trying to explain to her doctor's office that yes I'm her dad but I'm also the same person who was previously listed as her mom, and I am authorized to make decisions on her behalf, was excruciating. It's a tiny and old-fashioned ghettoey community clinic, not used to people like me. Also had lots of problems where I'm trying to use a debit card before the name change and my kid chirps up with "daddy" and male pronouns at the register. Or when I'd be so happily passing and she'd loudly ask me something about "when I become a man." Lol.

Btw my computer flags 'cringeworthy' and 'lol' as not words, but has nothing to say about 'awkwardest.' Haha.

[Farm Boy]

I've had lots of awkward passing moments at work.  I'm known by my birth name and "she," (not out yet) but some of my co-workers call me he/him/etc. from time to time.  Then they get embarrassed and quickly correct themselves.  I pretend not to have heard.  Sometimes they talk to each other about how I look like a boy and laugh when they think I can't hear them.  I've heard customers arguing about whether I was a guy or a girl, and sometimes they ask me.  That's always awkward...

We did get a new guy at work a few months ago, and apparently I passed 100% to him, because he actually got after some of the other employees for calling me she/etc. and told me not to listen to them.  He thought they were harassing me.  Since then he's been told my name and "corrected" when he calls me "he" many times.  I thought for sure he'd start calling me she, but just a couple days ago he came up and asked someone about me, and the conversation went like this:

New guy: "Blah blah blah, him?"
Lady: "Her."
New guy: "... Blah blah blah, him?"
Lady: "Her."
New guy: "........ So blah blah blah, him?"
Lady: "Her."
New guy: ".................................... Ok."  *Walks away*