Self image issues

[Stephanie_b]

Why not?


What style are the jeans? Skinny? Kickflare? Bootcut?


It WILL happen so be prepared for it. It need not happen all the time or even most of the time. I suppose it depends where you live and what sort of people you are mixing with. To start with, avoid teens. Boys will be aggressive and girls will be rude. Stay away from people with small children / toddlers. To start with, if you are wearing a plain blouse, jeans and sneakers, go to a large mall on a quiet week night and just walk through it. You will be surprised at how little people notice. To start with, stay in the quieter portions until you realise just how little people really notice.

Next, develop a thicker skin. This is actually quite easy. Remember that for almost everyone you come across you do not know them and they do not know you. You will probably never, ever see them again so whatever they think of you is utterly unimportant. It does not matter.

Now here is the key to it - once you realise that other people's opinions are unimportant to you then you can ignore those people. You will no longer have that 'nervous stare' we all start with and once this happens your confidence increases and your passing rate goes up - way, way up.


Which bit? Whatever it is, if you want to do it, then do it.

Beverley

Yes, I think I will avoid all people, actually.  The place I live has a population of just under 100,000, and we only have one mall, and its not very large.  But it doesn't matter, I will have to get used to going out as female so I will keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

My hair is a big problem though, its not long enough right now even though its straight.

[Stephanie_b]

The jeans sound like bootcut. http://www.hm.com/gb/subdepartment/LADIES?Nr=4294929234&gclid=CKCC67We7q4CFdISfAodwHUpNA

You should be OK with them. Many guys have flared jeans. I guess as long as the T-shirt does not have a big pink heart on it with the words "Cuddle me" on the back....


It is better to do this without the hormones. It is only a small step because the clothes are fairly androgynous so get some confidence by seeing how little people notice. Walk through the mall like you are the only person in it. Ignore everyone. Do NOT glance nervously at people and wonder what they think. People really pick up on nervous glances and wonder about you.

If you feel any doubts or worries do what I used to do. I used to say "Bev - if you really want to be comfortable as a female you need to do this so to hell with everyone's opinion". That carried me through to the point where I stopped caring because even on a bad day no one gave a d*mn about me or my ability to pass, but I had to experience it for myself to really believe it.

Yesterday I had to go into a butcher's shop and there were 6 other people in there waiting (2 women, 4 men) so I had to queue. I had no make up on except for my french polished nails. I was wearing a plain tailored blouse, kickflare jeans and ankle boots. My hair was in a high pony tail and I had a girly bracelet clearly visible on my right arm. I had shaved two or three hours previously. I paid from my ladies' purse and I had no trouble. I do not think I passed as female but I was not even trying to pass, nonetheless I got no trouble. I did not get 'sir' or 'maam' because I think they were unsure exactly what gender I actually was but my confidence in myself made it clear that regardless of what they thought I was not going to be intimidated or cowed. I was clearly happy in my own skin.

Maybe they all talked about me when I left or burst into laughter - but what do I care? I will see the butcher again but the other customers? Probably never again as long as I live so they can laugh all they want as far as I am concerned.

I am not saying that all this comes easily, but it does come with practice and hormones are not really much help in some ways. Right now I am sort of halfway and my A-cup boobs show no matter what I wear so I now longer have a choice. I now HAVE to present as female from this point onward and on days like yesterday were I had no time to get 'tarted up' I will wind up looking androgynous (for now). I am happy with that but if you come down this path then be prepared for this awkward stage.

Good luck - and always believe in yourself.

Beverley

I clicked on the link, yes basically my jeans are like those. 
I loved your post btw, I am so glad that I found susans.org and thank you for all of the feedback and suggestions.  I do feel much better after reading posts on this site and although I don't personally know any of you, you feel like family. 

Also I'm glad Beverly, that you came to the point where you just go and do your thing (whatever your agenda is at the time), not worry about what others think and just know your a woman.  I want to get where you are now and I will do whatever it takes.

[Siobhan]

Thats a great attitude for anyone to have bev , not just trans

[Stephanie_b]

Thats a great attitude for anyone to have bev , not just trans

Yes, well said. 

[Naturally Blonde]

Well, the jeans are skinny with a mild kickflare, and the tops I bought are t-shirts which are not overly feminine.

I have some Skinny jeans but can't get into them anymore!

[Siobhan]

I have some Skinny jeans but can't get into them anymore!

Doh..too much junk in the trunk?
I have trouble with jeans, my waist is smaller than my hips so they always fall down..and if I wear on them on my hips the back of the jeans just sort goes saggy...gah

[Shantel]

I have some Skinny jeans but can't get into them anymore!

HRT will do that to you hon, I have days where I can hardly pull mine up over my caboose!

[luna nyan]

Forgive me if this sounds dumb, but are star jeans a brand name?
Perhaps I should get some staight leg jeans, because my legs are definately 100% female looking, perhaps the only area that does not require change from the hrt.  I hope people won't notice too much, because I can't help the way my legs are shaped , nor the "wiggle" when I walk. I already get looked at funny while wearing guys jeans so I guess it won't hurt.  Lol

Sorry that was iPhone auto correct fail ヾ(＠⌒ー⌒＠)ノ

I meant start with jeans only and go from there.  Straight leg, regular fit and boot cut work well

[Stephanie_b]

Sorry that was iPhone auto correct fail ヾ(＠⌒ー⌒＠)ノ

I meant start with jeans only and go from there

rofl, ahahaha, that's an error that I love!
Star jeans, lol

[Stephe]

We all have "problem spots" but slowly I have learned to accept them. I wish I had a more "girl butt" and smaller waist. That's not likely to happen. I do feel I am a fairly attractive woman and pull off certain style/looks OK now. It does take a "I don't care" attitude and I haven't worried if people are looking at me etc for a LONG time. I also know I am a very unique person and most people remember me. I'm fine with being memorable

[Tazia of the Omineca]

I have some issues, like:
my chin I see it very uneven (most likely I see something completely different from what others see)
my forehead and brow bossing... it doesn't help that my cousin makes fun of me for this.
my torso, waist and hips sometimes I see them as super bony and I feel nasty.

I don't know. People say I am pretty and such, but same as you I don't- can't believe them.

[pretty]

Yea, I always feel kinda fat. I'm about 135 lbs at 5'5 and I would really like to be 120 but my body is really stubborn about going below 130. And I have a tiny bit of loose skin on my belly from when I was a fat preteen. Like not a lot, but enough so the texture of the skin is kind of weird and not firm. So when I sit down I think my stomach looks really gross. 

I also have no hip fat... but that's thanks to being pre-HRT. At least I have a small waist 

[Siobhan]

I have some issues, like:
my chin I see it very uneven (most likely I see something completely different from what others see)
my forehead and brow bossing... it doesn't help that my cousin makes fun of me for this.
my torso, waist and hips sometimes I see them as super bony and I feel nasty.

I don't know. People say I am pretty and such, but same as you I don't- can't believe them.

You are pretty tazia,and young. Im sure you will grow into a beautiful woman if you wish to.

[Tazia of the Omineca]

You are pretty tazia,and young. Im sure you will grow into a beautiful woman if you wish to.

I'm pretty sure I want to be a woman, and I hope I will be.

[Jam]

Sorry for butting in but guys have self image issues too, everyone does even if they seem really confident about themselves there's something they won't like.
I am 5'3 which I don't mind at all i am used to being short but I really dislike how little my bone structure is. I have small hands even on a female scale and my wrists are only 5.4 inches all around. I have uk size 5 feet, these things bother me but I refuse to let my day be ruined by them. They only worry me sometimes because I am concerned what other people think.

Most of the time I just get fed up with worrying about it and just get on with it instead. Or I try to look at what's positive for example I don't look anywhere near my age but I pass 80% of the time and my voice is getting deeper which means I'm not clocked straight away when I talk anymore.

Everyone has insecurities is what I'm trying to say so don't feel alone about it and it certainately don't let it stop you living .  =]

I'm pretty sure I want to be a woman, and I hope I will be.

You pass very well in your DP by the way so I wouldn't worry about anything if I was you