oh
Sorry to hear that
I use the term a lot around people
That way it disarms the term and how i think about it. I know people will think I am a "->-bleeped-<-" (in a less than nice way), but if i use the term first and am completely ok / comfortable with it... it robs them of their ability to use it in an offensive way.
My joking way of handling things makes others become a lot more comfortable around me. When I make jokes about transyness (case in point, making up terms is a good way of showing others you are comfortable with it and approach it with humor) they realize it is safe to talk to me as a normal person. They aren't afraid of accidentally using the wrong term or asking a question that might send me for their throats.
I see being super senstive about being trans as only making things worse for ourselves. If I bit peoples heads off of using the wrong term or phrase or all the other VERY VERY common mistakes people outside of the community do... it would just make me seem hostile and alienate myself. Most the time people call at MTF as "he" or use "->-bleeped-<-" instead of "transgendered" .. they aren't doing it as an attempt to insult anyone ... they are simply not educated to the prefered way to refer to transgendered people (because they probably have never run into it before). I'm pretty understanding of that, it is all about the intent behind the words.
So, basically, lighten up
If you learn to laugh about it and make jokes about it and are just comfortable with it... you will have a MUCH easier time around people. People will be drawn to you (instead of pushed away) and will be more able to accept and understand our transitis. Humor is an extremely powerful tool when dealing with difficult subjects
