The New you know you pass when

[MaryXYX]

I spent this evening at a ladies pampering evening run by a group for Learning Disabled and Autistic Spectrum people.  (I'm AS - not LD.)  I had my nails painted and chatted with various other women.  I think I must have been passing.

[Eva Marie]

I spent most of today running errands - I went to the doctor and to my insurance company and to a couple of pharmacies all in girl mode - no one noticed, or said anything if they did notice.

There is a girl that works in the pharmacy at my local Walmart; she has helped me previously work through a lengthy issue with one of my prescriptions so she knows me by sight now and never goes through the name and birthdate "who are you" rigamarole when I walk up to the counter - in guy mode. I had some new prescriptions to drop off today so I stopped by that Walmart. I saw that she was working, and I decided to have a little bit of fun.

I said "hi" as i walked by her up to the counter and I got no recognition whatsoever, just a friendly smile. I later finished my business at the counter and saw her restocking some shelves so I walked up to her, said "hi" again, and she asked me if i needed help finding anything.

I said "You don't recognize me, do you?" and after a few seconds a look of shock came across her face LOL...... she had no clue until I said something.

I think that's a pass.

[Shantel]

I spent most of today running errands - I went to the doctor and to my insurance company and to a couple of pharmacies all in girl mode - no one noticed, or said anything if they did notice.

There is a girl that works in the pharmacy at my local Walmart; she has helped me previously work through a lengthy issue with one of my prescriptions so she knows me by sight now and never goes through the name and birthdate "who are you" rigamarole when I walk up to the counter - in guy mode. I had some new prescriptions to drop off today so I stopped by that Walmart. I saw that she was working, and I decided to have a little bit of fun.

I said "hi" as i walked by her up to the counter and I got no recognition whatsoever, just a friendly smile. I later finished my business at the counter and saw her restocking some shelves so I walked up to her, said "hi" again, and she asked me if i needed help finding anything.

I said "You don't recognize me, do you?" and after a few seconds a look of shock came across her face LOL...... she had no clue until I said something.

I think that's a pass.

Totally, especially if it's a natal female that didn't recognize you.

[Carrie Liz]

YAY! I finally have one to add here!

You know you pass when... your first cousin once removed has no idea who you are, even after numerous hints.

Yesterday, in the middle of a day of shopping for job-interview clothes, my mom and my uncle decided to stop and say hello to their cousin, who I had indeed seen before at a family reunion when I was like 8 years old.

Mom introduced me as her daughter. Her cousin gave a perplexed look as he was shaking hands with me, saying "yeah, I've... heard a lot about you." The look on his face was so obviously a "wait a minute, who is this person? I didn't know she had a daughter" look. As we chat, he tells me "I don't think I've ever met you before." I tell him that I think I met him at a family reunion when I was like 8 years old. He knows exactly what family reunion I'm talking about. "The one on Long Island?" "Yeah, that's the one." "No, I still don't think I remember you."

He never figures it out during the entirety of our conversation. As we're getting ready to say goodbye and leave, he gives Mom and Uncle Joe a hug, asks me if he can have a hug from me too, and gives me a kiss on the cheek, and says it was nice to meet me.

As we're walking out, he asks us what we've got planned for the rest of the day. And that's when Mom slips up on the pronouns, and says "oh, we're shopping to get him interview clothes. He's got a job interview on Friday," referring to me. Joe also accidentally genders me male without thinking about it. And finally, the cousin gets it. "Okay, I do remember him," he laughs, looking at me.

I just grin ear to ear, and joke "should I even bother correcting you two on the pronouns?" And we all have a good laugh about it.

Still... despite being fully aware that Mom had only ever told him about having a son, despite me speaking to him about the exact family reunion that I met him at, despite 10 minutes of conversation, and even after giving me a kiss on the cheek, he never figured out who I was until Mom and Joe accidentally outed me with the pronouns.

I'll take that as a pretty damned big compliment.

[MaryXYX]

It must have been a long time since that reunion, but even so - very well done Carrie!

[Mary81]

I finally have a story to add!
I had to go to the post office the other day to pick up two pieces of registered mail - one a notification of my divorce and the other a notification that the office of vital statistics had received my request to change my name. Anyhow, I had to give the lady at the post office my identification card (which sadly still bares a picture of me pre-HRT, my old name and my birth gender). She looked at the card closely then told me that she was sorry but that ID wasn't mine and that I would have to ask him to come in person to pick up the letters. I had sort of a dear-in-headlights look, so she called her colleague to come over. She told her "this woman doesn't speak Czech, can you explain to her that her friend will need to come in person to pick up his mail." At this point, I tried quietly to explain my story. Though it actually took some convincing and several other pieces of photo ID before either of them believed me. One even said, "but you're not a man". It was nice even if it was also horribly embarrassing.   

[Shantel]

I finally have a story to add!
I had to go to the post office the other day to pick up two pieces of registered mail - one a notification of my divorce and the other a notification that the office of vital statistics had received my request to change my name. Anyhow, I had to give the lady at the post office my identification card (which sadly still bares a picture of me pre-HRT, my old name and my birth gender). She looked at the card closely then told me that she was sorry but that ID wasn't mine and that I would have to ask him to come in person to pick up the letters. I had sort of a dear-in-headlights look, so she called her colleague to come over. She told her "this woman doesn't speak Czech, can you explain to her that her friend will need to come in person to pick up his mail." At this point, I tried quietly to explain my story. Though it actually took some convincing and several other pieces of photo ID before either of them believed me. One even said, "but you're not a man". It was nice even if it was also horribly embarrassing.   

Good one Mary! Judging from your avatar photo I can clearly understand how the woman was confused, you look like any born woman to me dear.

[Charley Bea(EmeraldP)]

This happened about 10 days ago, I was getting an EEG and the technician noticed on my medications list spironolactone and asked what I was on it for and I said I am transgendered and his responce was "Oh okay, male to female or female to male?"

I was smiling a bit from that as I was just wearing jeans, t-shirt and a hoody. Two ways I could have taken it, either I looked female enough for him to think I might be FTM or I still looked male enough for him to think I was MTF and he couldn't tell. I chose to take it as him thinking I looked female enough to be mistaken for FTM.

He then proceeded to talk about GCS after asking if I was going to have it(hope to)and list various options for where and who I can go to for it. Eased my nerves alot.

[LizMarie]

I recently spent a week living full time with friends in Memphis, Tennessee. While there on multiple occasions, men I'd met asked a friend if she thought I needed an escort back to the hotel where I was staying alone. As my friend noted, that's not a question that gets put forth about men, but about women. In her words, I had passed yet another milestone along the journey and wasn't even aware of it until she told me.

[Eva Marie]

Last Sunday a female friend and I went out to chat and have some dessert at Panera bread. I saw a guy in there checking us out but I thought nothing of it. We left and walked down the sidewalk and after a bit we hear someone coming up behind us. My friend looked back to see who it was but didn't say anything.

It was the guy from the restaurant, and he was trying to catch up to us to give *me* a compliment, and then he hit on me lol.... My friend is from a foreign country and has exotic dark looks and I'm the one he hit on - go figure. Later my friend said that she saw him checking out my butt when he was walking behind us.

I never expected anything like that to happen and I was flabbergasted by it. I think that's a pass

[Shantel]

Last Sunday a female friend and I went out to chat and have some dessert at Panera bread. I saw a guy in there checking us out but I thought nothing of it. We left and walked down the sidewalk and after a bit we hear someone coming up behind us. My friend looked back to see who it was but didn't say anything.

It was the guy from the restaurant, and he was trying to catch up to us to give *me* a compliment, and then he hit on me lol.... My friend is from a foreign country and has exotic dark looks and I'm the one he hit on - go figure. Later my friend said that she saw him checking out my butt when he was walking behind us.

I never expected anything like that to happen and I was flabbergasted by it. I think that's a pass

Way to go girlfriend, that's always an encouraging pat on your feminine ego! (Men are so visual, bet he was thinking of patting somewhere else) 

[Alainaluvsu]

My doctor thought I was transitioning to male because the chart said transgender on it. She even asked me when the last date of my cycle was. She was pretty embarrassed when I told her I was going the other way. Her exact words were "Let me look at your chart more so I don't continue to look like an idiot".

[Elijah3291]

When you're at work and (this has happened twice) and your customer accidentally calls you ma'am and then corrects themselves instantaneously and looks super awkward and embarrassed and says something about how they are more used to having women serve them and saying ma'am rather then sir.

While I still don't like even an accidental ma'am, its a good change from a purposeful ma'am.

[Shantel]

When you're at work and (this has happened twice) and your customer accidentally calls you ma'am and then corrects themselves instantaneously and looks super awkward and embarrassed and says something about how they are more used to having women serve them and saying ma'am rather then sir.

While I still don't like even an accidental ma'am, its a good change from a purposeful ma'am.

Yes, and judging from your photo there would be no way it could be purposeful. 

[Carrie Liz]

Ever since going full-time, I have had more and more trouble on the phone whenever anyone calls asking for my birth name.

Just a few days ago, I was calling the New Jersey unemployment office, not attempting to do my female voice whatsoever. And after giving them my social security number and my date of birth, the operator, in a confused tone, asked me where I had worked. She said "It can't be the Golden Nugget, can it?" "Yes, that's right." "Really? This record on file says that your name is Charles. That can't be right." And I basically had to say, "Yes, that is me. I have a high voice. I know." And I had to drop down into my (increasingly harder to do) male voice to convince her that I really was me.

This is like the third time that this has happened now.

Hell, there was even one time where I was calling a local PODS storage facility, and the operator called me "ma'am," then he asked me for my name and I had to say "Charles," and yet even after saying that, he still called me "ma'am" like three times after that.

Methinks my voice is passing.

And my May 22 name-change hearing can't come soon enough, so that I can finally start legally changing my name in all of these places and quit having people question my identity.

[Shantel]

Me thinks my voice is passing.

Me thinks so too, you have all the evidence! 

And my May 22 name-change hearing can't come soon enough, so that I can finally start legally changing my name in all of these places and quit having people question my identity.

That will make a world of difference when you no longer have to out yourself to everyone. You're doing so well Carrie that it's hard to believe you are the same person from six months ago! 

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

I was out in a social situation and I was chatting to a lot of people and I thought, why not ask a few people if they knew that I was trans. I asked about four separate people after chatting with them for a while. 2 of them didn't believe me and the others acted shocked and said they couldn't tell. Win. :-)

[Jill F]

I was out in a social situation and I was chatting to a lot of people and I thought, why not ask a few people if they knew that I was trans. I asked about four separate people after chatting with them for a while. 2 of them didn't believe me and the others acted shocked and said they couldn't tell. Win. :-)

That's a win alright, congrats! 

[Brooke777]

You know that you pass when you are out at an LGBT bar, you start talking to another trans woman about trans issues, and she has no clue that you are trans.

[Cassie 4 Ever!!!]

I went shopping today at the mall  for like 7 hours and not one person thought I was a guy and everyone called me by the correct gender. Oh how the employees go out of their way to help me now and they are sooo nice.