your mainproblem as I see it is your not being really accepted anywhere,
I think the first big steep is to gain that lets say it like this.
you can be everyones friend and a good kid people would like
you can also be who everyone hates and be who you are.
but even if people hate you will know the few who stick together are for real. those people are people you can be honest with and helping you along the way.
I dont say your money thing isnt an issue, I understand your focus on gaining money for all the stuff, but getting enough money takes time and it can be an lonely run if your all alone by doing it.
if theres any transgroups or GLBT group in your area you should also contact them to see if they can help you.
I belive its best for you not to be alone, and parrents arnt always to trust on this points..
just a side note, its ALWAYS hard to transition, and somethimes you just want to give up,
but its worth a try, if you really want to kill yourself then you cant really lose anything more,
I was in pretty simular situation since I started my transition short after a suicide attempt,
I was pretty scared, and it was hard as h***, thought I would die at times, but I made it and im happy about it,
not everyone is lucky, but as I said I belive its worth a try.
