can I?

[flashzoom]

hi everyone,
here is my story...i want to know what do you guys think.
I've been kinda of starting to dress as a girl since I was 13 or 14.
but I've always thought that was "wrong" or "bad" since I came from a very triditional asian family background.
but when I got older, I started to discover what transsexual is.  i have been giving a lot of thought about it.  but this is something I can't talk to my family about at all, since I am the only Son. 
but during all this time, I have one big question.  I love being a girl, making the step. but does that mean I am gay?  I have never been with a man before, or tought about it before since my family is very triditional.  but I am not saying it's not possible.  I have dated woman all my life, and most of them the woman think that I am more on the Feminine side, but not feminine like gay man. If I have to rate how much I like man and woman, I would say 60% for woman, and 40% for men.
so it is possible for a Transsexual (MtoF) not to be gay? If I am interested in Woman, does that mean I don't have the sympton to be a Transsexual?

Please help me....

[GypsyKaren]

Relax, it's quite possible to want to be a woman and not be gay. I really don't think being trans-gendered has anything to do with one's sexual preference. I think you're dealing with two separate issues here, so I really wouldn't worry about it. You are what you are, and you can be whatever you want to be.

GypsyKaren

[AnneW]

Please don't confuse being a gay male with being "feminine".  Although I am a "straight" male crossdresser, I have a feeling that a large number of gay males do not view themselves as feminine, in spite of the stereotypical images that we see all of the time.

When I present as a woman, my only sexual interest (contrasted with gender presentation) is in genetic women.  When I present as a man, again, my only sexual interest is in genetic women.

The idea that gender is in the brain and sex is between the legs seems very appropriate.

Take care on your journey to self discovery.

Anne

[Cassandra]

Hi FlashZoom,

As has already been said your gender identity has nothing to do with your sexual preference although I will have to disagree with you Anne Sexual preference is also in the brain just a different part. Between your legs? Don't let the GLB's here you say that.  >

I will agree with Anne about many gay men being very masculine. I had a boss who was gay and we were standing outside one day on a cigarette break and he made the comment that he did not like prissy men or drag queens. He only liked real men. So there you are being feminine doesn't make you gay. Of course if your a woman and you only like women than that makes you a lesbian. That's another thread and you might want to take alook at that when you get a chance. There has been quite a bit of discussion about it.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,645.0.html

Good Journey

Cassie

[stephanie_craxford]

Hello Flashzoom,

It's a popular misconception about being transgendered.  I can assure you that being transsexual, and sexual preference have nothing to do with each other.  Just because you are MtF does not make you gay.  You could be gay to start with, but that has nothing to do with being trans.  Check out the Wiki here https://www.susans.org/wiki/Category:Transgender

Quote rom the Wiki

(Trans-)gender identity is different from, though related to, sexual orientation. Sexual orientations among transgender people vary just as much as they do among cisgender people. Although few studies have been done, transgender groups almost always report that their members are more likely to be attracted to those with the same gender identity, compared to the population as a whole; that is, transwomen are more likely to be attracted to other women, and transmen are more likely to be attracted to other men. Many transgender people who are attracted to others of the same gender will identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual.
Note that in the professional literature homosexual and heterosexual are very often used respective to clients' birth sex, instead of their desired sex. Transgender people may feel misunderstood by caregivers because of this practice.; it is also quite confusing when a relationship that is considered gay or lesbian by both partners is labeled heterosexual, or a relationship that consists, as far as the partners are concerned, of a man and a women is labeled homosexual.

Chat later,

Steph

[Leigh]

If someone-a MTF -is attracted to women then classically they would be considered lesbian/gay wouldn't they and hetero is they were attracted to men?

As it has been pointed out gender is who you are, sex is what you do with your bits.

[stephanie]

It seems that with regard to TG, the term "homosexual" is just a tad vague, as Leigh suggests.  When it comes to people who are the opposite gender of what they're born with, I would think a more absolute definition is a better way to go.  Instead of saying "I'm a MtF but I'm not gay," one could say "I'm a MtF but I'm attracted to women."  Because if you feel like a woman, and you're attracted to women, in many people's eyes that means gay, even if you're biologically male.

With regards to Flashzoom, it would seem you're in the same boat as many people here when it comes to TG vs. Sexuality.  I agree with everyone here who has already said that gender identity and sexual orientation are two completely different subjects, and someone may or may not be either or both.  It's like saying "I work in a school so does that make me a teacher?"

[Shelley]

Hi Flashzoom,

For some TG's it is part of the process to fantasise themselves as a woman with a man. Many never act upon these fantasies. Fantasy is part of our Psyche and as such should not be confused with what we do and feel about the real world.

Having said that I have seen figures indicate that the percentage of homosexuality within the TG set differs litttle from the non-TG set.

My advice explore your feelings and don't suppress the real you.

Shelley