my plan

[mellissa]

So I've been putting myself on hold and Ive come to realize that I do want to transition.I'm going into my senior my senior year and slowly expressing myself in public. On another note I've decided to start therapy my senior year because I want to start fresh going into college. I'm actually really over whelmed for the fact that i still need a name change to actually start new. I don't know much about insurance and what perks it can help me with for I am still a child. But I'm actually going into stress because I really want to just come out my parents already know but the feeling that they say they support you and don't care how you dress or act they will love you has strucken me the most because I do want to start transitioning but what goes on in my head about how my parents probably really are seeing me actually depressed me. They may say they support me but when I look at their faces its like they lost their son. And that's what makes it hard to just come out because I respect my parents but this is how i am its not like I woke up and was like I'm jumping on the trans train I didn't ask to be born the opposite of what i know i am. 

[MacKenzie]

  They might be losing a son but they're gaining a daughter in return. Transitioning is always hard on your loved ones but since you're still so young it should be some what easier for your family to eventually accept this compared to someone that's lived as male for most of their life.

  Good luck hun, you look cute in your avatar pic!

  xo

[Colleen Ireland]

Hey, Mellissa.  Lovely name.  Sure wish I could make it easier.  I just turned 56 this past Monday.  Been transitioning for about a year now, hoping for surgery next year.  My parents are great - I was SO sure they would disown me, but they didn't, and they're being supportive, but it's hard.  I know it's hard.

I got a birthday card from them.  Dad didn't know what to write, so he just observed that my birthday this year was on a Monday, and I was actually born on a Monday.  Mom wrote, "It seems strange to be sending birthday wishes to a name different from the one I gave that baby I held in my arms 56 years ago."  The card arrived ON my birthday.  I cried, because I could hear in her writing the wish that she still had her son.  Early in my transition, I asked her what she would have named me if I'd been born a girl.  She said from the moment she knew she was pregnant, she "knew" she was having a boy, and she never even considered any girl's names. (sigh)

No, it doesn't get any easier.  Transition is hard.  Very, very hard.  It's the hardest thing you will ever do in your life.  Is it worth it?  I've lost my marriage, after 32 years, my living conditions are very different, I'm alone, and having to start over again.  Is it worth it?  It is for me.  Definitely, no question, no doubt.  I could not go on living the way I was, and I could never go back.  This is who I am.  I don't know if my parents and siblings and cousins and aunts and uncles will ever really get used to that, but I know they love me, and they support me.  If that's all, it'll have to be enough.

[Constance]

I think it's always hard on parents, no matter the ages of all parties concerned.

I was 42 when I came out and started transitioning. My mom said quite explicitly that she felt like she was losing one of her sons, but she realized she was gaining a daughter at the same time.

Transition isn't easy, but I've found it to be rewarding thus far.

Hang in there. We're here for you.

[cacasca]

crappy to hear this but I am glad you get to start your transition earlier then I did and not later