Difficulty Taking Refuge in Sangha

[Constance]

These days, I'm having difficulty taking refuge in the sangha because my ex-wife is part of the sangha that I sit zazen with.

Zazen was very difficult this evening. I could not clear or still my mind, and I almost left the zendo in tears. I held it together during the sitting and walking meditations. But, damn, it was really tough.

I don't want to find another sangha. I like this one. I guess that's attachment to preference, and I will be taking with my teacher in practice discussion about this. But, I don't know when that will happen yet and I just wanted to get this off my chest.

[Jamie D]

The purpose of life is to be happy.  The relationship with your ex-wife is causing you suffering.
It seems to me you could changes associations, but until you reconcile the cause(s) of your suffering, you will not find the peace you desire.

[Constance]

Thanks, Jamie.

I figured that the reconciliation process will be an ongoing thing, and I don't expect it to be resolved soon.

It was good just to get this post out there. Thanks again for reading.