4 weeks Post FFS (with picture): I still look like a dude aww shucks

[sysm29]

I'll post my first post-FFS picture here.  This is taken at four weeks.

Today I had my last stitch taken out of my head so I can wash my hair now...

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I had the full FFS done... People say that you really don't see the changes for a long time, but basically this is me... I don't see that much change in my face.

For those who might like to read my FFS experience, I posted a long thread in the FFS section called ummm i think it was "7 rules for having FFS"...

This month has been very painful... im actually exhausted from it, but im still surviving in the hope that things might stabilize and ill just live with whatever happened...  Its a very hard process.

I had always imagined a transition would be easy as pie- Take your estrogen, put on some makeup, grow out your hair and presto chango!  You're a woman and everybody adores you and women come up to you in Nordstrom and tell you how much they love your ensemble... 

WEll I've separated from my drag persona completely.... no more wigs, no more caked on makeup, but without all of that, I'm just a dude with feminine features that looks tired because he's about to turn 27.  There are 50-year-old women at my support group that pass as women...

Today in the clinic the receptionist said "I'll be with you in a second sir..." and then she looked at me like she was a little uncertain but then said: "I'll be with you in a second."  I have no idea what that means...

I've been out and about for a while now and people still see James.  I mean maybe its the facial hair?!  but im not really ready to jump into the ocean of womanhood quite yet... I still need time.  I'm still uncertain if I might need more procedures and revisions... 

I'm also questioning whether the estrogen is good for me since I crashed on it terribly when I was on it at 9 months.  Maybe a low dosage is okay for now... im scared of it.

I dunno, what do you see?  A guy with feminine features?  i guess that guy becomes a woman through the year??!

[Butterflyhugs]

It's hard to tell from the picture, but how much facial hair do you have? I've always heard of people getting that taken care of completely (or close to it) before going through with any kind of FFS.

That being said, if you looked more male than female before FFS, you will still look like that at only 4 weeks post op. I myself basically still looked like a boy at worst and androgynous at best at the 1 month mark. Give it time! 

Every doctor basically says you shouldn't evaluate or really weigh the visible results til at least 3 months after, because of residual swelling and such that takes a really really long time to go away. 

[Devlyn]

I love the smile! I think you need to wait patiently, didn't you tell us the Doctor said no pics for three months? Hugs, Devlyn

[A]

As it has been said above, and in other topics, get on therapy; that's my advice.

Also, it's hard to judge the results of FFS so soon... Especially since we don't have a before picture. So if you intended to get opinions, you're making it hard.

Finally, if you wish to pass, I would advise to take care of your facial hair and eyebrows soon. The facial hair isn't too visible on the picture, but the eyebrows certainly don't help.

[lecoeurdegrey]

Very cute and andro and I love that nose . However, a previous poster ( who got their comment deleted ) is right. You have to sort our your mental health before transitioning. A lot of your posts have me worried that you may be prone to depressive episodes . Only saying it cause I'm concerned Hun

[Tyler]

I'm going to tell you what I tell you everytime you post something. You need to shape your eyebrows.

[VickyMI]

Yeah the brows need reshaping but thats all.  They will make a HUGE difference.  I tweeze, shape, darken and pull up my eyebrows with tape.  Makes a big difference.

[A]

darken and pull up my eyebrows with tape.

What?!

[Renee D]

Very cute and andro and I love that nose . However, a previous poster ( who got their comment deleted ) is right. You have to sort our your mental health before transitioning. A lot of your posts have me worried that you may be prone to depressive episodes . Only saying it cause I'm concerned Hun

I removed my own comment. I decided that it isn't really worth the bother.

[Bird]

I don't mean to sound rude ok? I just want to go straight to the point without much cherry on top.

I think having FFS is one of the latest steps in a transition, not one of the first ones. It is painful and expensive and as you see, ins't a passing ticket. The most important thing, and the first one to be sorted out in transition, is mental health.

Now you already did FFS and some of what I said doesn't matters, but this still does: It ins't a passing ticket. There is NO passing ticket. You have to put a lot of effort into soul searching and into finding you, afterwards, it is necessary to take steps to femininze yourself. Let hair grown, laser your facial hair, work on your voice, find the right mannerisms and find the clothes that fit you.

Of course you don't pass in that picture. You are dressing as a guy, wearing a male haircut and I imagine you have a masculine voice. It seens to me your chest is completely flat too, I also believe your hips are completely male shaped. Even if you had FFS, you are sending male signals all around. Until you rewire those signals to be female, or somehow hide them, you won't pass, even with FFS.

Now, since you had the surgery, once you start hormones and get the facial hair off, your face should look very female and you will begin passing more. There are other things that are necessary to look forward to, such as makeup and presentation. FFS will help you down the road, but it is not THE door to walk through to transition.

[Alainaluvsu]

Well of course you're disappointed.

You have facial hair, no makeup, your eyebrows look like a landing strip for a jet, and your hair screams male. Not only that, but it's obvious to me that you haven't given HRT a chance to even work.

You are going way too fast and running over the speed bumps and it's gonna make the wheels fall off your car!

[Joeyboo~ :3]

What?!

It's an old trick for drag queens that go into beauty pageants with natural makeup (actually looking like a girl.)
It raises your brows like she said and makes your eyes more open.

It'll only work if you wear wigs though.
Thank God my hair didn't recede or thin out bad.
If anything it needs to be thinned out some -_-
my hair's very thick, it's almost impossible to put it in a ponytail.

But we aren't drag queens who are doing this temporarily, we couldn't do that every single day.
So it was bad advice, plus Sysm has very beautifully dark eyebrows already (I love dark eyebrows.)
They just need to be shaped

[A]

Thanks for the info. I'm still skeptical about the darkening thing, though.

[dejan160]

I'll post my first post-FFS picture here.  This is taken at four weeks.

Today I had my last stitch taken out of my head so I can wash my hair now...

[/

I had the full FFS done... People say that you really don't see the changes for a long time, but basically this is me... I don't see that much change in my face.

For those who might like to read my FFS experience, I posted a long thread in the FFS section called ummm i think it was "7 rules for having FFS"...

This month has been very painful... im actually exhausted from it, but im still surviving in the hope that things might stabilize and ill just live with whatever happened...  Its a very hard process.

I had always imagined a transition would be easy as pie- Take your estrogen, put on some makeup, grow out your hair and presto chango!  You're a woman and everybody adores you and women come up to you in Nordstrom and tell you how much they love your ensemble... 

WEll I've separated from my drag persona completely.... no more wigs, no more caked on makeup, but without all of that, I'm just a dude with feminine features that looks tired because he's about to turn 27.  There are 50-year-old women at my support group that pass as women...

Today in the clinic the receptionist said "I'll be with you in a second sir..." and then she looked at me like she was a little uncertain but then said: "I'll be with you in a second."  I have no idea what that means...

I've been out and about for a while now and people still see James.  I mean maybe its the facial hair?!  but im not really ready to jump into the ocean of womanhood quite yet... I still need time.  I'm still uncertain if I might need more procedures and revisions... 

I'm also questioning whether the estrogen is good for me since I crashed on it terribly when I was on it at 9 months.  Maybe a low dosage is okay for now... im scared of it.

I dunno, what do you see?  A guy with feminine features?  i guess that guy becomes a woman through the year??!

Let me say it. Your forehead is perfectly done. Your eyebrows need reshaping. Women don't have that kind of eyebrows. Your nose and chin are still swollen and overtime they will take a feminine shape. You also need to do something with your facial hair. I am sure you will make a pretty woman in the end. I believe that your FFS is a success.

[Siobhan]

Hi sysm,
As others have said, its too early, but your nose looks very cute and your forehead is smooth..you've always had a great smile and Im sure your going to look great in a few months, I hope you are feeling better now anyway- you do just look like a more femine version of james, so keep smiling.
You got the same eyebrows as me, guess we both gotta get those things tamed!

[Wild Flower]

If I didn't know better I would say you were a ftm (without surgeries)

[justmeinoz]

Transitioning is not easy.  In fact it is probably the hardest thing you will ever do, apart from making the actual decision to do it. 
You really need to find a good Gender Therapist and sort out all the issues that will come up, or are with you now.
Facial hair removal is probably of more effect than FFS actually, from what I have seen.  People will react to the most obvious visual clues, and facial hair is a pretty prominent one.  As others have said already, an eyebrow shaping will help a lot too.

Karen.

[Carbon]

if you posted in the "do I pass" thread, I would say no.

if you posted in the "could I pass one day" thread, I would say yes.

agreeing with everyone else in this topic

[Amazon D]

I'll post my first post-FFS picture here.  This is taken at four weeks.

Today I had my last stitch taken out of my head so I can wash my hair now...

[/

I had the full FFS done... People say that you really don't see the changes for a long time, but basically this is me... I don't see that much change in my face.

For those who might like to read my FFS experience, I posted a long thread in the FFS section called ummm i think it was "7 rules for having FFS"...

This month has been very painful... im actually exhausted from it, but im still surviving in the hope that things might stabilize and ill just live with whatever happened...  Its a very hard process.

I had always imagined a transition would be easy as pie- Take your estrogen, put on some makeup, grow out your hair and presto chango!  You're a woman and everybody adores you and women come up to you in Nordstrom and tell you how much they love your ensemble...  

WEll I've separated from my drag persona completely.... no more wigs, no more caked on makeup, but without all of that, I'm just a dude with feminine features that looks tired because he's about to turn 27.  There are 50-year-old women at my support group that pass as women...

Today in the clinic the receptionist said "I'll be with you in a second sir..." and then she looked at me like she was a little uncertain but then said: "I'll be with you in a second."  I have no idea what that means...

I've been out and about for a while now and people still see James.  I mean maybe its the facial hair?!   but im not really ready to jump into the ocean of womanhood quite yet... I still need time.  I'm still uncertain if I might need more procedures and revisions... 

I'm also questioning whether the estrogen is good for me since I crashed on it terribly when I was on it at 9 months.  Maybe a low dosage is okay for now... im scared of it.

  A guy with feminine features?  i guess that guy becomes a woman through the year??!

I had always imagined a transition would be easy as pie- Take your estrogen, put on some makeup, grow out your hair and presto chango!  You're a woman and everybody adores you and women come up to you in Nordstrom and tell you how much they love your ensemble...


I've been out and about for a while now and people still see James.  I mean maybe its the facial hair?!


I still look like a dude aww shucks

You need to talk to a therapist because you have some distorted ideas of what a woman is. Most also don't have full facial beards or shadow beards.

You should just go back to who you were before starting transitioning and rethink your thoughts and life direction. You can't buy being a woman or a man. Its no wonder so many hard core feminist are aginst us transitioning.


thats what i see ..

[kelly_aus]

There are plenty of men walking around with what most would consider feminine faces.. Being a woman is more than just looks. As others have said, find yourself a good gender therapist...

What anti-androgen were you taking? I was taking Androcur, it contributed to me having a fairly major meltdown.. One it's known side effects is depression, I just got unlucky.. I'm out and full time, no FFS and no plans for it.. Even with my somewhat masculine face, I pass.. (Oh goddess I hate that word in that context) Why? Because I am the whole package..

A pretty face does not make you a woman.. Being dressed like a woman doesn't make you a woman.. Walking and talking like a woman doesn't make it so either.. In the end, it all comes from the inside - it's who you are, not what you appear to be.. I'm confident in my identity, I know who I am and other people can see it..