Am I transgender or am I just gay?

[Devon]

So I was born male and I am sexually attracted to men but I don't feel like a boy.. I've felt like this since I was 8 (I'm 18 now). I remember telling my mother that I had wanted to be a girl around 8 or 9 but they suppressed this and I didn't rediscover my female tendencies until I was 15.

I feel like I'm not a male but I don't feel like I could identify as female either.. I could live without my natural genitalia but the idea of breasts I'm not fond of. I hate seeing my masculine body, however. I wear cosmetics and am attracted to feminine clothing but that (in my mind) has nothing to do with whether I identify as male or female.

Any tips on how I can find myself and discover what I really am?

Devon

[Devon]

Also, I do know that gay and transgender are separate things but some transgender women who do not know whether they're trans or not believe themselves to be gay.

[jademouse]

be careful when you say "most transgender women," It's a slightly loaded phrase which some may take offense.

Personally, I knew I wasn't gay but didn't accept myself as transgender until 6 months ago.

[Renee D]

Any tips on how I can find myself and discover what I really am?

Devon

Find a therapist experienced in gender and sexuality issues, they should be able to help you figure things out.

[Constance]

I never really thought of myself as gay. In fact, I had 23 years of marriage. I had identified as bisexual, and I think that for me being bi helped me put off the need to transition for so long.

I started transitioning when I was 41.

I started exploring the concept of gender identity about 4 years ago, going through many of the boards and threads here to read what others had posted on the various topics. My understanding of my gender identity evolved from cross-dresser, to androgyne, to MTF, to genderqueer/genderfluid, back to MTF.

As for tips, that's a tough question to answer. For me, working with a therapist really helped. That, and reading the stories of others to see what "resonated" with me. Really, it seems that it should have been more obvious as I first thought I should have been a girl sometime between 5 and 7 years old.

[Silent Killer]

I think you're just a ->-bleeped-<-/Crossdresser.

[ffern]

try experimenting and trying out different things, and see where you are most comfortable, it doesnt have to be a binary, that is, you dont have to be 100% female, or 100%, or even even the same percentage of whatever 100% of the time.

[JulieC.]

I think you're just a ->-bleeped-<-/Crossdresser.

Really???  based on what? 

If you can't figure it out for yourself a qualified therapist can help.  This is a wonderful place and I love coming here and seeing what everyone thinks but some of the advice that's given is great and some not so great.  Mostly we speak from our own experiences and everyone's experiences are different. 

[JayKyle]

I'd say talking to a therapist would be the best thing to do and they'll help you discover which you really are

[Constance]

I think you're just a ->-bleeped-<-/Crossdresser.

Could you please elaborate, as this comment seems dismissive and divisive. Please remember that ->-bleeped-<-s and cross-dressers are welcome as Susan's as well.

[Edge]

I feel like I'm not a male but I don't feel like I could identify as female either..

I'd suggest looking into non-binary gender identity. It's ok not to fit into one or the other. Maybe take a look around the androgyne area.